To ask how many of you have actually had a good manager?

[ThatGutsyRubyBiscuit]

I’ve been working for over 12 years and thinking back, I can’t name a single manager who’s genuinely had a positive impact on me. Some were outright awful, some were just meh but I’ve never had one I’d describe as genuinely good. I’ve seen good ones on other teams, just never mine.

I don’t have a high bar either. I don’t need to be best friends with my manager or get special treatment. I just want someone competent, fair and who actually wants to manage people but even that feels rare. The only people I know who rave about their manager actually happen to be the ones getting clear favouritism.

AIBU to think most managers either don’t want the job or shouldn’t be doing it?

I have a fantastic manager currently. He is calm, thoughtful, empathetic, capable, blunt and straight talking. Definitely a "leader" type. He keeps me in this job at the moment. With my health issues I'd have quit long ago if I didn't have a manager I trusted.

All managers before this were rotten though lol. Apart from that one time a superviser temporarily became a manager, she was great too, but they hired a different manager who was rubbish.

But my current manager is 10/10.

Having ADHD I have gone through a good few jobs in my life. I'm 48 fwiw.
I've been in steady work since 1999 as I didn't have a good work ethic before I hit 21/22.

1999-2004. Great boss, great job but I was in a shit relationship and couldn't do the job to it's full capacity and then the boss was a dick and I didn't talk to him for years after but we are friends now. He was a friend of my brother.

2007. Horrendous. One of the worst years of my life.

2008-2015. Had a really good relationship with my boss.

Looked after my first born.
Had another child and had pnd.

2018-2019. Awful. Absolutely outrageous behaviour all while my mental health was declining.

2019-2022. Great man!! A true leader of a manager.

Since 2022 I had a terrible time with work which massively knocked my confidence.
Being diagnosed with combined ADHD has helped me understand a lot about my work history and the realisation of not being appropriate for the working environment that I'm used to.
I've always been good at getting jobs, just not keeping them 🤔

I'm in a good place now and I'm starting work soon on a part time basis and will be helping neurodiverse people in a working environment

I’ve had some great managers that I’ve learned loads from and some terrible managers. I’m still really good friends with some ex managers. As a manager myself, I’d probably be described as tough but fair, and I’ve always tried to coach and develop people.

As a PP said, the problem is some people don’t actually want to be a manager but it the only way to get a promotion/ pay rise.

There are also people who get promoted because they’re good at their job and it’s just assumed therefore that they’ll be a good manager. These people often aren’t given any training, so how can they be expected to be good managers?

I think perhaps ‘confident’ was the wrong word. Cocksure perhaps is the right word?

‘I’m right because I’m in charge’ sort of bravado. There are two in my workplace now, well, they try! Young lads, good at organisation and working a computer but terrible at ‘people skills’ and lack experience and ‘people skills’ and experience are incredibly important in the role they’re in!

I have had a couple of great managers in recent years. Both of whom gave me the confidence to progress to higher banded posts.
I’ve also had shit managers that I couldn’t speak honestly to and who I was a bit scared of

I've had some fab managers, male and female, and also some rubbish ones.

My most memorable was a difficult man to work with, but if you worked hard and did your job right, he would give you the best opportunities he could to progress and woebetide anyone who disrespected you or messed you about.

I'm older than most of my recent managers and .maybe that's why they seem less impressive. Perhaps my expectations are too high.

I’m a PA so the type of manager is always really important as it’s a close working relationship.

My manager at the moment is great. Considerate, sees me as a person, gives opportunities to develop. We are friends, I’ve spent time with his family. We have worked together for several years and moved companies together.

My last one I thought was great but it was actually unhealthily enmeshed. I took on a lot of the stress of his role that he should have dealt with.

Ones before that were mostly dreadful. Saw me as a piece of furniture almost, knew little about me as a person and really couldn’t care less about any development. They were definitely Number One and I was just a piece of flotsam in their orbit.

I've had 2 stand out managers over the years. The best manager I had was the most difficult to work for, she really pushed me (in a good way) and she really had our back when needed. I got so much out of working for her

I think a lot of issues stem from mismatched expectations. I've made it really clear that I'm happy in my current role and I'm coasting into retirement in 4/5 years, so they more or less leave me alone

I'm in my 50s, almost all of my managers have been good. I can only think of one who wasn't.

I used to be a manager and went on brilliant training course that taught me I have to manage up as well as down.
So that meant accepting my manager was human and could have bad days and make mistakes. But also thinking hard about how I needed to be managed and make them aware of that. Every member of my team needed managing in a different way and I needed to be aware of that so extending it to thinking about yourself wasn't too hard. Some people I would find hard manage and others easy and a new manager might find it the other way round because of their skill set.

I’ve had two or three over the years. Fair, good communicators, flexible, although expect results. The best ones are people from whom you can learn.

My current manager is fabulous. He’s a lovely person, good to work with. I’ve been in my job 6 months and it’s the only time a manager has genuinely given me a soft landing into a job and a proper induction. He works with me, gives me clear direction and autonomy. He really values his staff, asks about my wellbeing.

the others though over the last 20 years - I could literally write a book. I’ve had some batshit managers and some crazy situations. I’ve concluded that most people aren’t cut out to manage other people!

One of the best managers I had was a former colleague who got promoted. He was an expert in his field but also knew all the problems our team was facing. He also knew about everyone's strength, weaknesses and career aspirations and tailored his management style accordingly.

The worst one was also an absolute expert with zero people skills. They promoted him so they could pay him more because otherwise he would've left. If he had any ounce of self introspection he would've have never taken the job in the first place or at least taken some people management courses.

I think a lot of managers would be happier and more successful in an expert type of position where they can crack on and acquire more knowledge without having to deal with managing people. Unfortunately some companies don't offer this kind of career progression with the same financial incentives as a team lead.