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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many of you have actually had a good manager?

113 replies

ThatGutsyRubyBiscuit · 30/09/2025 12:25

I’ve been working for over 12 years and thinking back, I can’t name a single manager who’s genuinely had a positive impact on me. Some were outright awful, some were just meh but I’ve never had one I’d describe as genuinely good. I’ve seen good ones on other teams, just never mine.

I don’t have a high bar either. I don’t need to be best friends with my manager or get special treatment. I just want someone competent, fair and who actually wants to manage people but even that feels rare. The only people I know who rave about their manager actually happen to be the ones getting clear favouritism.

AIBU to think most managers either don’t want the job or shouldn’t be doing it?

OP posts:
ginasevern · 30/09/2025 17:15

I've worked in various jobs and sectors over the course of 50 years. Most managers have just been meh (probably airing slightly more towards the "not particularly good" end of the spectrum). Others have been total bastards who shouldn't be in charge of a paper bag let alone other people, and two of them have been lovely but ineffectual.

CarpetKnees · 30/09/2025 17:28

I'm retired now, but have had several good managers over the years - more good than 'meh' and none were terrible.

I think what @ComtesseDeSpair said in the first reply is very true though. 'Being promoted' more often than not means 'being given a lot of different roles which are a completely different skillset from the one you were recognised as being good at'.

hulahooper2 · 30/09/2025 17:37

in 37 years I’ve had a few , 3 , including current one , were fantastic, the old school ones I now realise were much better than we thought at the time , a few younger ones climbing the career ladder -pretty hopleless , and one mature female who was scarily unhinged and caused utter havoc - but we saw her off

Jellybunny56 · 30/09/2025 17:38

My current manager is amazing and I do consider us as a team very lucky to have him because I see the managers of teams around us behaving appallingly.

Brightbluesomething · 30/09/2025 18:28

Mine is excellent and a huge support. I genuinely feel I wouldn’t still be in my role without his support over the years.
I also line manage managers and if any one of them wasn’t supportive, kind and compassionate I’d have serious concerns about their leadership competence. Thankfully they’re all great and their teams value them.
I’ve mostly had male managers and couldn’t criticise any of them. There was a totally incompetent female manager who made my life hell though so I know what dreadful looks like. I left a job I was good at because I couldn’t work for her a second longer.

RMN80 · 01/10/2025 17:55

I have the best line manager! He always puts the team first, bigs us all up, always has our backs first and foremost, and always looks after our welfare. I never feel like I am bothering him, even though he is super busy. He's a rare one, but he makes a tough job 100x more bearable.

SunnySideDeepDown · 01/10/2025 17:58

Being a manager is a truly thankless task. It’s VERY hard to manage some people.

Mom221 · 01/10/2025 18:08

I have an absolutely loveliest manager I ever had- we are friends, she’s very kind, hardworking and always tries to help others and I see her more like mother figure then my boss.

Oblomov25 · 01/10/2025 18:25

I've never had a good one yet. Fortunately I've only had 4 in the last 30 years, 1 was awful, 3 fortunately just left me alone to do my job.

Woahtherehoney · 01/10/2025 18:29

I’m very lucky that I’ve had some brilliant managers. My manager right now is excellent - she trusts me, she knows I’m capable and lets me do my job but I know she’s there to bounce things off of, ask her questions and get her support when I need her. She opens doors to opportunities for me and talks about me to senior leaders so they know what I’m capable of. I’m aware of how lucky I am.

i’ve had some terrible managers who have micro managed, pulled me apart and left me with no confidence so I appreciate how hard it is to find a good one and maintain a positive working relationship. My old boss used to make me cry regularly, not good.

ErinAoife · 01/10/2025 18:42

My current manager is very nice, helpful, give good explanation but unfortunately he is only there as a maternity leave replacement. I am dreading when she will be back from maternity leave as in comparison to him she is not helpful do not explain anything. I find women manager to be very arrogant.

RoverReturn · 01/10/2025 18:46

Thinking back I've had 2 , maybe 3 good managers.
That's over a 30 year period.

Have had many bad managers, but they've all been bad in different ways 😬.
Current manager is bad.

JerryGiraffe · 01/10/2025 18:48

I've had a good mixture I think, people that have been outstanding, others not so good. I always thought that I learned something from every manager. Sometimes it would be learning about the person I want to be and how to do things well, other times I would learn about how I don't want to be and how that kind of behaviour impacted others. I've only once had a manager who was dire. The incompetence, blame culture and rudeness was beyond words. This one taught me I believe in karma, and I waited patiently with my popcorn....

GiveDogBone · 01/10/2025 18:56

You’re completely correct. But it’s not their fault. In most cases organisations promote people into management who are totally unsuited for that aspect of their role because they’ve tended to be good at the job one level below, and / or have provided them with no training on how to mange people, which is not something they’ve done before.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 01/10/2025 19:03

I've had more bad than good. But a couple of fab ones. Both women.

The first was phenomenal at her job. Also a really good people person. Supportive but also firm. Senior management never gave her shit. She stood her ground. Bloody amazing.

The other wasn't as good at her job but she was incredibly supportive of her staff and held the shit management back from us and took them brunt of them herself.

I've had several managers (mostly men) who were bullies. One who used to regularly make staff cry. Another who tried to hound me out of the job and then after I'd left and was happy in my work, mocked my new job, when I bumped into him in town.

WhereAreWeNow · 01/10/2025 19:10

I feel very lucky. Pretty much all of mine have been brilliant. I love my current manager.

MyNameIsJane · 01/10/2025 19:39

I have had great bosses.

  1. She gave us credit for stuff in front of Senior Team to boost our profile.
  2. She would cook for us all round her house and we always had cake at her meetings.
  3. She looked out for us and gave us responsibility and empowered us in our roles.
She really was great to work for. A little chaotic but came up with an off the cuff idea all the time.

My current boss is good too. Not as many superlatives for him but he has integrity. I like that in a person.

Jumpers4goalposts · 01/10/2025 20:54

I’d say 50/50 good and bad managers. 100% of the male managers I’ve had have been bad. Female managers probably 75% have been good.

JungAtHeart · 01/10/2025 21:16

I realised that many managers are simply not trained in management. They’ve just progressed upwards but have zero knowledge or theoretical understanding of people/financial or project management and what it takes regarding motivation, team cohesion, lateral planning etc. it’s a very specific skill set 🤷🏼‍♀️

SuperGinger · 01/10/2025 21:35

I've had amazing managers, the one I have now is awesome.

Two stand out as memorably awful, one said his wife had "a little job" it turned out she was a SEN teacher, I literally had no respect for him after that.

And a man who sent me an email on a Friday afternoon to tell me he didn't like my "posh braying" I literally can't do anything about my voice.

RoverReturn · 01/10/2025 21:36

JungAtHeart · 01/10/2025 21:16

I realised that many managers are simply not trained in management. They’ve just progressed upwards but have zero knowledge or theoretical understanding of people/financial or project management and what it takes regarding motivation, team cohesion, lateral planning etc. it’s a very specific skill set 🤷🏼‍♀️

My first job was in a public sector organisation and this was definitely the case there.

People were promoted because they were good scientists but this didn't always or even usually translate to being a good manager.

Then I moved to a large private sector place and the managers were better on average.

Lucyccfc68 · 01/10/2025 22:12

I would say that 80% of my managers have been pretty good.

The best ones have trusted me to do my job, had my back, given me feedback, offered me development and known when to just let me get on with my job or step in with support.

My last manager was amazing. She took me on because of my specialist knowledge and expertise and actually wanted to learn from me. She gave me the space to go out and research and come back with a strategy and opened the doors for me to get support for it. Incredibly supportive and trusted me to get things done. She was always there for advice and I regularly used to run ideas by her. She left (due to a power mad, nasty bully) and I ended up with new manager. He is absolutely fucking awful. He has no idea about my role, so just makes assumptions - which are always wrong. He is, by his own admission, risk averse. He doesn’t recognise that this means he tries to micro manage me and tell me how to do my job (when he has no idea). He recently went on Linked In and took the credit for a huge project that was mine.

I handed my notice in 3 weeks ago and he is that poor as a manager, he was actually shocked. I was completely honest and told him it was because of him that I was leaving and gave him numerous examples. He just can’t see it though and has no self awareness of his management style.

I can’t wait to start my new job in December and until then, I will remain professional, pass on as much info as I can, so everything I implemented can carry on and I have even introduced him to some people who would be a good replacement.

Got to a stage in my career now, where I will not tolerate working for an absolute dickhead. When I was younger, I wasn’t brave enough to stand up for myself, so did put up with 1 or 2 poor managers.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 01/10/2025 22:13

I’ve had a few great line managers, actually.
I’ve been lucky. My current LM is excellent.

ThereIsThunderInOurHearts · 01/10/2025 22:31

My last manager (local authority) was so unsuited to her role that she was not even as good as the apprenticeship or the admin assistant and she repeatedly claimed to be overworked whilst producing virtually nothing in over a decade.

She has now retired on a huge pension after decades of not performing and preventing her team from performing so that she didn't look bad. I had to leave to protect my blood pressure.

I am in a new job with the most adorable, much younger manager who wants her team to do their best and be recognised for their achievements. They do exist!

Justlovedogs · 01/10/2025 22:38

In 35 years of work, I've had one brilliant manager (my current one), 2 really good, a couple of fairly decent ones and several in the 'meh' category. I consider myself very lucky that I've never had one I'd really consider bad, and even luckier that I've got such a good one now.