What's your worst playdate experience?

[PumpkinSly]

Aibu to ask what your worst playdate stories are (if you can still call it a play date at 9). DS has been to his friends this afternoon and has come home covered in what I can only assume is dog shit. The friend has two dogs and DS has come home with shit all over his shoes, trousers, t-shirt, and even in his hair. It doesn't even smell like normal dog shit. It is very cheesy in smell and it's all over him. He reeked. He said he spent time playing in the garden, but who lets kids play in a dog shit covered garden?! FFS! He's washed, we've cleaned the interior of the car, and his clothes are in the washing machine, so no long term damage. But I am sorely tempted to message the mother and tell her the state DS has come home in. DH thinks it's not worth it, and maybe he is right, so please, tell me your playdate nightmares to distract me.

Not me but my sister in law. She was invited for coffee by a mum she has meet at a toddler group that had a kid similar age to my nephew (15 months). Everything went ok but when my SIL said they had to go this women begged her not too, anyway after SIL kept saying they had to go and made moves to go the women ended up baring her way and locking the door. This women went on and on about wanting a friend and was crying and screaming.

It took my SIL law getting out her phone and dialling 999 for the women to finally let her go.

SIL did contact the police who said they could not do anything. She also rung social
services as the women was obviously unhinged or needed a lot of help.
SIL never saw the women again and was told at toddler group a month later they had suddenly moved away.

I had that when I was a kid! I remember sitting and watching the family eating their tea at the table (a proper, plated hot meal for the dad, mum and three kids) while I had nothing. I was expected to sit and wait quietly in the adjoining living room -I wasn't even allowed the TV on. I don't think I ever mentioned it to my mum. I definitely never went over again, despite being asked.

😥 That is terrible. Was your dog ok?

My son went on a play date once and couldn't find the toilet so shit in his pants and put them behind the sink pedestal.

He was only small but that mother never spoke to me again.

The 'Thanks' 'Agree' and 'Love' buttons are insufficient for a thread like this one, we need a dropped jaw emoji too.

Changed my name for this as it's fairly outing ( or at least I'd like to think it doesn't happen too often.)

My son went on his first solo playdate at a friends house in reception year. I got a phone call from the other boys mum an hour or so after school had finished to tell me that her son had stabbed mine in the head! As they were playing my son had climbed into a giant cardboard box. And just like a young Paul Daniels her son had plunged a toy sword into the top of the box but also, rather unfortunately, into my sons head!

It was a fairly superficial wound but there was a lot of matted bloody hair. The friendship didn't last. The other boy is at the same secondary and if we ever mention him we still call him stabby head.

Omfg

Ah I forgot the batshit playdate school mum when DS was about 5. Sorry about the length, it is all coming back to me.

We arranged to meet at the park with her DD who the school mum said was great friends with DS. DS didn't know who I was talking about when I mentioned the girl's name and told me he had never played with her... but I'd already accepted the invite so off we went.

Mum and her DD arrived 30 mins late. The mum insisted the DC were buddies to the visible confusion of both children. Anyway it was fine, they ran off happily to play on a piece of equipment that included ropes they had to climb up. DS was a bit of a ninja and managed to climb up quite quickly, the little girl struggled but was not bothered at all. Nevertheless the mum ran over to her, grabbed her by the shoulders and said loudly "DD, this is a CHALLENGE that you cannot overcome right now. We've talked about challenges. It does not mean you are not good enough or strong enough" and carried on giving what I can only call a demented pep talk on recognising your strengths and celebrating your weaknesses. She then hugged her daughter and came back over to me spouting on about how proud she is of her daughter's "inner vitality". This continued throughout our time in the park as she hovered over every single piece of equipment the girl played on, giving a running commentary on how amazing she was "what does jumping on this roundabout say about you? Yes you are agile!"

Later on as we were walking home she started talking to me about a job interview that she had the following week. However every couple of seconds she would spell out a word instead of saying it e.g. "So next week I have a J-O-B interview with a C-O-M-P-A-N-Y..." and so on. She told me it was because Olivia was so bright but very sensitive and she has to hide how much she says in her presence.

This was several years ago and remains to this day one of the strangest interactions I have ever had with another human being.

Sounds like she was starved of attention/affection at home.

OMG it is awful, isn't it. This was a fully cooked lunch too. My DD was quite upset about it tbh, because this friend had been to our house loads of times, and always had meals / snacks / drinks.

Like you, my DD also stopped going very soon after this happened.

Re: wifi password, yeah when they're playing in the street outside aged seven but have a phone, I think it's odd. Plus I barely knew the child!

Obviously different for older kids etc

I can't compete with dog poo but when dc was about 4 or 5 we went to someone's house where the 5 year old stood in front of dc and threw balls at his face, one after the other. The mother did nothing at all. She wanted to talk to me and i was open mouthed and then went to stop what was happening. Mother was furious and insinuated that I was a helicopter and that children have to learn to stand up for themselves. Children went upstairs on promise of good behaviour, along with a younger sister of the family we were visiting. Mother was making coffee and telling me a long story and I politely said "just a moment, just going to check" and went upstairs and found the younger child kicking dc's shins, with hard shoes, over and over. I got dc away and into another room where the older child was. Went to toilet. On way downstairs looked into room, more of the same, could see dc was about to blow and whack them back so took dc downstairs and made excuses to keep them in front of us. The other mother later told other people that I was precious and very rude!

Invited two brothers that my son knew from school over for the afternoon when they were all aged between 7 and 9. Their mum and her boyfriend dropped them off at 2.30pm as arranged. They hoovered up all snacks offered, then the oldest asked for a banana...then another...then another. Ate four in total, and several apples, in addition to the granola bars etc. Didn't want to play with anything my son suggested, then within half an hour later they were crying and wanted to go home, despite the arrangement being that they would stay for supper. Drove them half an hour home. Their mum explained that they had not had lunch because they'd come straight from the airport having seen their dad (from whom the mother was separated) off on a six-month work contract abroad and they were a "little upset." Those poor kids. I've since found out from my son that those boys are more often than not at school with no packed lunch and no money to buy anything.

Wow! Did they ever ask for free childcare a playdate again?

Yes, and just so weird! I can't get my head around why any adult would do that. I can't imagine not feeding a guest I'd invited round. Even if it wasn't for dinner, you'd at least offer a snack at some point!

They did not. It all got very sad - the woman moved back to her home country with the little girl and divorced the father, so the grandparents see her once a year now, rather than several times a week (although they were clearly not coping with that). The neighbour takes a huge interest in my kids and sometimes pops over with treats. He misses her terribly, even if he did try to offload her on to me for an hour or so!

That poor child!

Maybe MN could bring in the reaction.

Oh, that's sad! Nice of him to take an interest in yours.

What a mate!

We used to live in a cul-de-sac and DD used to play out every day with a group of kids including an unkempt little boy who was constantly asking us for snacks. We invited him over one day, he ate lunch and repeatedly asked for more. I later found him putting biscuits and fruit from our cupboard in his pockets. When DS dropped a plate on the floor I overheard the poor boy saying to him "Is your dad going to beat you for that when he gets home from work?" There were other disturbing things and I contacted his school's safeguarding team. He was removed from his home by Social Services.

I don't know if my call triggered it or if they were already aware of the situation but I'm thankful for that particular play date and the fact it pushed me into action.

I know- this was about 18 years ago but still haunts me. No way was I going to leave a nine year old in the park. Her dad was supposed to have taken off half term to look after her. Apparently he did this to another family during this week who invited her to play. Poor girl. I felt so sorry for her.

I always think back to the time I was 12 and at a friend's sleepover.
Her older cousins (18) were over. We were all sat watching a film and one of the cousins was holding my hand, later on he put his arm around me and was stroking my hair.
I was infatuated. He was good looking and so lovely.
Her mum popped in the room and quite angrily pulled both lads out (they were twins). I was disappointed to say the least.

I now look back on that night with very different emotions. I had no idea how wrong it was, but it makes me shudder as initially everyone was going to be sleeping in the one room! After this one of our friends was homesick and it ended up being just me and the girl who had invited us over. Fortunately, upstairs in her room.

Picture this - recently moved to US, youngest twins in a brand new school. One mum invited them to a playdate with her son. They/we were thrilled. Took them to the house of this lovely family - parents to older children so they know their way around the school, etc and had a lovely chat. Left the boys there for an hour. When I came back I chatted with the mum in the kitchen and went towards the basement to collect the boys. I stepped to go downstairs to collect them, lost my footing and began to fall down the stairs! I instinctively reached out to break my fal and pulled their coat rack right out of the wall. Continued to fall into a heap at the bottom of what seemed like a very long staircase! I looked up to see the mum at the top of the stairs with a frantic look on her face and said "Well, how do you like me so far?". I swear even if I had two broken legs I was getting out of that house under my own steam. If the world could have opened up and swallowed me I would have been so grateful!

This wasn't the worst, but I had one where the mum and kids just failed to appear. I got a text after an hour saying "we couldn't go out as it was raining, we'll come now". They live 5 mins walk away. I just thought that was so rude. I let them come but said we could only do an hour, and didn't invite them back. I felt sorry for the little boys as it wasn't their fault, and didn't want to disappoint my DC, but I'm not getting treated like that a second time
Edited as on reflection there was no apology in the text message!

Invited a boy round, DS would have been ? 7 or 8.
Then started to hear him swearing, sexualised language, then stuff being thrown down the stairs and damaged. Plug off wall, toys broken .
I told the mother about the damage, her opinion was it was normal play . She also explained she’d brought him up to not respect any authority. Expected me to agree with her.
obviously never invited back