Is this normal or am I a mug?

[jumpingjaque]

Am I in the wrong?

Parrtner is away for a boys weekend. No issues whatsoever but his niece’s 18th was planned for tonight afterwards.

I went, lovely evening with his family etc. I’ve sent him videos and pics of his niece. Nothing back?

He’s commenting on the family chat but not to me directly?

We are both mid to late 40’s so this is not some sort of childish behaviour.

I’m pissed off that I’ve gone out of my way to sort out childcare for an evening to spend with his family and he cannot even acknowledge me? Is this normal?

I’m not the poster you responded to but honestly? No. Most people aren’t all that interested in seeing photos of random parties they didn’t attend.

You sent him pics and videos, he looked at them.
Why does he need to reply?

Every day I am thankful for having the common sense to turn off read receipts on WhatsApp.
People should try it, it nips all of this patrolling in the bud.

Random? If you don't know how to respond to pictures of your niece with your parents and siblings then that is very odd indeed.

Maybe the question you should ask yourself is whether this is his normal behaviour, if he’s away for the weekend. Is he usually less responsive on acknowledging messages. If he’s away is, then it’s probably par for the course but maybe he feels more obligated to comment on a family group chat.

if he’s normally equally responsive to you when he’s away and this is a change in behaviour and messaging frequency, then I would question what prompted the change in behaviour and be a bit pissed off.

Sounds like he is feeling guilty. I think you shouldn’t have gone to his niece’s party. If he’s not there it’s not your job to fill in for both of you. However much you didn’t mind, it’s the principle of it. I suspect he knows that it will have made him look very bad. His absence wouldn’t have been as noticeable if you hadn’t gone.

I'm not going to be ignored, Dan!

Boil the fucker's rabbit, that'll teach him.

OP it's weird. You know it is. But I can see already the usual mumsnet shite of 'of course not, why would you expect your husband to acknowledge you? Why sbould he ruin his weekend to message you?' is already in full swing

Oh well, I’m not particularly fussed if some internet random thinks I’m odd 🤣

I have no interest in seeing photos of parties I didn’t attend. I would of course be polite in person but if someone just sent me a load of unasked for photos on WhatsApp I’d think they were the ones being a bit odd.

Same. All these dramas could be resolved so easily if people couldn’t see whether you’d read their messages!

yep, in the wrong. The man needs to reset and refresh and your still pecking his head?

Are you a mug? Well you maybe feel like one or you wouldn't be asking the question 🫤. Does he do other things that make you feel like a mug or is it just this one thing in isolation?

Based only on what you've said so far, I think he's an absolute twat to blatantly ignore you - unless you have form for texting him while he's away and he doesn't like it. Have you experienced it before?

I as I said, no. Why ask me a question that I already posted the literal answer to this question?

Id personally be hurt/annoyed.
Stop investing in him and his family so much. Go out with your friends and do what you want.

Don't make him your world and it's less painful.

Ah but he wouldn't would he? Honestly, would he go to YOUR nieces party with your family? No, I bet he wouldn't. Next time he's away, don't do his job for him, he can do it when he gets back.