To ask my husband to pronounce his th

[Pumpkinallspice]

My husband has always hade an "f" sound for his th's. Mumf for month, teef for teeth etc.

He is highly educated but it sounds terrible. His Dad who brought him up as a single parent uses the sound set so it's a learnt speech pattern.

We have twin 4 year olds who are now making the same speech sounds. Yes I'm a snob. I don't want them growing up with incorrect speech. Honestly I think how you speak affects how people perceive you.

I mentioned it to him and he was upset obviously. It goes without saying I don't want to upset him, but I really don't want the children growing up with the same speech style.

I’d rather see people who accept others for who they are, than someone who pronounces th.

I recall my mum making an over exaggerated th sound at my daughter and other kids when they were young. It was ridiculous and embarrassing for her. I can imagine you doing this in front of your husband. He will feel like crap and your children will think you have gone mad.

Despite four years of speech therapy during my first years I still can’t pronounce th as expected.

Yes I've always hated the f sound. No not enough to not marry him.

I mentioned his Dad as his Dad was the only adult around him until school, so it's where he learnt his speech from.

It is not regional. It is not an accent. It is a sound error.

This! Just keep hammering the messsge home to the children. Correct them every time.

My DH does exactly the same with "th". When I tried to correct him, he made it even more obvious and said its his "beautiful" French accent. I am not a native English speaker either, but at least I make effort.

Good for her? Give her my congratulations when you see her.

Personally I like variety and regional accents are a nice feature of British culture.

Where do you live @Pumpkinallspice?

That will have the biggest impact, the regional accent where you live.

We lived near Essex for pre school and my DC started speaking like 'gayerll' instead of 'girl' and 'waierld' instead of 'world'. We then moved areas where there is no pronounced accent in Y1 and neither of my DC have an accent.

You are sounding like a terrible snob. Being a snob is a much worse failing than pronouncing a sound differently.

Are you doing any work to correct your own issues?

I find your attitudes repugnant. But I can offer reassurance. My children are trilingual (posh, estuary and Yorkshire) and can and do switch between the three. They’ve been able to do it since they were very little.

I have a strong regional accent. This lack of th would really annoy me

What you describe sounds like a familial sound set (accent) rather than an exceptionally specific hereditary phonological disorder.
The explanation of it being a lack of education doesn't make sense. He's highly educated, as you said.
What part of the country are he and his Dad from?

YANBU but it's a bit late in the day. All you can do is encourage your children to speak properly.

By the way I avoid TH sounds as I have teeth missing.

Using F for TH is common in some London and other accents. Maybe some people can’t hear the difference but surely it’s too common for that to be the case always. Your children will be hearing both versions so may well pick up TH.

His Dad was a school leaver with no qualifications. Clever man but no formal education. My husband went on to get an MSc amd is a gifted scientist.

They are from the Gloucestershire area.

You're being a horrible snob and you don't really understand how language works - it's not an 'error', nor is it going to blight your children's lives. What making it an issue will do is upset your husband, possibly make him self-conscious, and teach your kids that they should also be judgemental about other people's idiolects.

You're asking him to change himself, as he was when you met him, to make your family look better to other people (who, I assure you, don't care). Yes YABU

I think you can correct your twins on this but not your husband.
I have a vey slightly different accent to my husband and children, so husband corrects children, but never me.

This may shock you, but people can be intelligent and not from your ideal background. Even those from Not Posh families or even (ready yourself for this one) Not England! Crazy, I know.

It's a thing in the west country, lots of people speak like that there.

It seems you're ignoring the obvious because you're hoping people will egg you on in your snobbery.

Do you still live in Gloucestershire? If not, your kids won't speak like that. They'll speak the local accent. End of, no need to fret.

If you don't like the local accent, your only choice is to move basically, because children get the local accent pretty much inevitably

It’s not an error, it’s a difference. As a linguist if the communicative act is successful in conveying the intended meaning that’s fine. And I say that as the wife of someone who is highly intelligent but substitutes f for th

No we ate over the Welsh border now so we can throw that in the mix!

I've generally found children get their accents from their school friends and not their parents. My children don't have the same accent as me, they have the same accent as their school friends.

We moved from Manchester to Lancashire as children so 3 of my mums children have a mixture of both where as her youngest who was born amd raised in Lancashire, sounds just like her local friends

Is there still such a thing as elocution lessons ?
sign him up for them immediately, in person ones not online.

He probably wants you to remove your head from your arse!

Your snobbery is a far bigger issue than his pronunciation.

Imaging telling your kids their dad doesn't speak well enough. How horrible for him.