To end my relationship to concentrate on my daughter.

AutumnHibernator · 2025-09-27T16:38:32+00:00

My exH has split up from his girlfriend and as per usual he's back dating again within 2 weeks of the split 🙄 Anyway, he's now brought my daughter home early 3 times or cancelled having her in order to go on a date. I'm in a relationship which can be emotionally draining and demanding to be honest, my daughter is completely aware of why her Dad is not having her as he tells her, as if she'll be excited for him! She's clearly feeling a bit lost and emotional about this, and I'm wondering if I should just end my relationship in order to completely focus on her and be stable for her sake?

Comedycook · 27/09/2025 17:39

Why is your relationship emotionally draining?

NorthXNorthWest · 27/09/2025 17:39

Why is your current relationship emotionally draining and demanding?

Springadorable · 27/09/2025 17:40

You've got two issues here. A relationship that sounds more work than fun, and a crap exH. I'd end the relationship, but you don't need to in order to support your daughter if you are managing time and interactions. Just end it because it's a bit shit.

Tamfs · 27/09/2025 17:40

No, end your relationship because you don't want to be in it anymore. Don't use your DD as an excuse.

stomachamelon · 27/09/2025 17:41

I think my answer depends on what your relationship is like with your partner? Boyfriend? What are your goals? Are you both in it for the long term?

If you explain the situation and say you need to focus on her are they going to take it well and be understanding?

Bobiverse · 27/09/2025 17:43

Relationships are not emotionally draining. Only bad ones are. So end it because of that.

If it’s actually a good relationship then there is no need to end it, as long as he understands that you may have to drop him or cancel last minute because your daughter is coming home. He needs it be ok with being kicked out the back door while she comes in the front door!

My boyfriend didn’t meet my kids still we’d been seeing each other for 15 months, and he was absolutely fine with all the times I had to cancel last minute due to my kid’s dad sending them home early. It was never an issue between us, and it never affected my kids because I didn’t get angry about it and never complained in front of them.

Original poster

AutumnHibernator · 27/09/2025 17:44

It's emotionally draining because they demand a lot of my time, like trying to see me everyday even coming into my work and sulks if I have to cancel plans because of DD. I'm not really sure why I added that in, i guess just for background info.

OP posts:

Original poster

AutumnHibernator · 27/09/2025 17:45

stomachamelon · 27/09/2025 17:41

I think my answer depends on what your relationship is like with your partner? Boyfriend? What are your goals? Are you both in it for the long term?

If you explain the situation and say you need to focus on her are they going to take it well and be understanding?

No they're not!

OP posts:

Yetmorewifework · 27/09/2025 17:46

Your daughter aside, you've described your relationship which can be emotionally draining and demanding. What positive things does your partner bring that is worth the emotional drainage etc?
I would be giving up the relationship but not because of your daughter's needs as the primary factor.

Mumofteenandtween · 27/09/2025 17:47

I think it sounds like a relationship that should end. The fact that that will also give you time to focus on your daughter is a bonus!

MiceAsPie · 27/09/2025 17:47

Oh come on now! You’ve swapped one shit relationship for another

its time to put your daughter first and recognise that both of her parents being in difficult relationships won’t be doing her any good whatsoever

you don’t need the permission of random women on Mumsnet to do the right thing

lnks · 27/09/2025 17:48

You sound like you are in a very controlling relationship. I would end it anyway, regardless of your daughter.

Comedycook · 27/09/2025 17:48

AutumnHibernator · 27/09/2025 17:44

It's emotionally draining because they demand a lot of my time, like trying to see me everyday even coming into my work and sulks if I have to cancel plans because of DD. I'm not really sure why I added that in, i guess just for background info.

Definitely end it. That sounds awful, intense and controlling. Coming into your work and sulking when you can't see him is horrendous behaviour. Regardless of your DD, you should not be in a relationship like that.

Bimblebombles · 27/09/2025 17:50

Sulking when you see your daughter…red flag. End it

Onelifeonly · 27/09/2025 17:51

If you're not happy with your partner, end it. This decision is not related to what your Ex is up to, though I can understand his demands would be even more annoying given your Ex's lack of commitment to his child.

Yetmorewifework · 27/09/2025 17:51

@AutumnHibernator you put two posts up while I was writing mine. These cement it for me, you don't want to be with this person who is jealous of you trying to put your daughter first. A decent partner will make sure your child is front and centre.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/09/2025 17:51

Do you actually understand op that relationships with non family are there to make you happier and if they don’t, they’re not mandatory?!?

user2848502016 · 27/09/2025 17:52

You don’t sound happy in your relationship so yes you should end it. An adult sulking because their partner needs to concentrate on their child is pathetic and not someone you should be wasting your time on

Endofyear · 27/09/2025 17:53

AutumnHibernator · 27/09/2025 17:44

It's emotionally draining because they demand a lot of my time, like trying to see me everyday even coming into my work and sulks if I have to cancel plans because of DD. I'm not really sure why I added that in, i guess just for background info.

This is why you're should end the relationship!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/09/2025 17:53

AutumnHibernator · 27/09/2025 17:44

It's emotionally draining because they demand a lot of my time, like trying to see me everyday even coming into my work and sulks if I have to cancel plans because of DD. I'm not really sure why I added that in, i guess just for background info.

He sulks if you cancel because of your DD, so yes I’d end it. Nethermind about what your ex is doing, you’ve got your own reasons to end this one.

JurassicPark4Eva · 27/09/2025 17:55

AutumnHibernator · 27/09/2025 17:44

It's emotionally draining because they demand a lot of my time, like trying to see me everyday even coming into my work and sulks if I have to cancel plans because of DD. I'm not really sure why I added that in, i guess just for background info.

Christ, for that reason alone, run like hell and don't look back! What a waste of your life, having to manage a twat like that.

AdoraBell · 27/09/2025 17:55

If your relationship isn’t right for you as you said it’s emotionally draining then yes, end the relationship. You deserve better and so does your daughter.

WilfredsPies · 27/09/2025 17:57

Don’t you dare use your DD as an excuse! That’s bloody outrageous that you would even allow your brain to connect the two things. That sounds so manipulative.

End your relationship because it isn’t making you happy and is taking more from you than you’re willing to give. But be honest about it. You’re not doing it for her. You’re doing it for you.

Sodukuchess · 27/09/2025 18:04

End it because he's a douche

Original poster

AutumnHibernator · 27/09/2025 18:05

WilfredsPies · 27/09/2025 17:57

Don’t you dare use your DD as an excuse! That’s bloody outrageous that you would even allow your brain to connect the two things. That sounds so manipulative.

End your relationship because it isn’t making you happy and is taking more from you than you’re willing to give. But be honest about it. You’re not doing it for her. You’re doing it for you.

Sorry it definitely wasnt my intention to be manipulative. I guess if the relationship was perfect I wouldn't feel the need to ask.

I'm just trying to do the right thing for my daughter.

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