To end my relationship to concentrate on my daughter.

[AutumnHibernator]

My exH has split up from his girlfriend and as per usual he's back dating again within 2 weeks of the split 🙄

Anyway, he's now brought my daughter home early 3 times or cancelled having her in order to go on a date.

I'm in a relationship which can be emotionally draining and demanding to be honest, my daughter is completely aware of why her Dad is not having her as he tells her, as if she'll be excited for him! She's clearly feeling a bit lost and emotional about this, and I'm wondering if I should just end my relationship in order to completely focus on her and be stable for her sake?

You should end this relationship because he’s a pathetic controlling needy whiney twat.

You should also prioritise your DD - the two issues are separate

This is atrocious behaviour so yes get rid of the new man ASAP.

This sums it up perfectly.

Your relationship sounds shit. Woman up and end it for that reason; don’t blame it on your daughter or ex.

That’s not ‘emotionally draining’, that’s controlling!

What we are saying is you’re not doing it for your daughter. That is using her, presumably so you can score parenting points of your great sacrifice down the line. That isn’t fair. Your partner is vile. You presumably want to be in it as you view a relationship as success in a competition with your ex. You don’t want to end it because he’s vile because then you lose, whereas you can end it as you’re selflessly doing it for your daughter. My post is harsh I know, but you need to own this.

Yuk! Get rid!

Oh for god’s sake, why are you even with him then? He is obviously not a good guy. This has nothing to do with your daughter. He is just not a good guy.

Why are so many women so desperate for a man that they’ll stay with someone who behaves like this.

Get some self respect. This is not a good guy for you.

Yes you should end this relationship, because he sounds awful 🚩 .

give your head a wobble OP, your boyfriend sounds controlling!!! You don’t seem happy, so don’t understand why you even need to ask, u know what mumsnet is going to say!! He sounds awful and abusive, coming into your work, and you say he won’t take it well if you end it with him etc? Red flags everywhere. Come on why put up with this, never stick with a man who sulks when your are giving your child more attention!! Concentrate on DD and raise your bar partner wise.

It doesn’t sound like you get much out of the relationship anyway. Would you be happy with them being so needy if you didn’t have a daughter to consider?

I'm sorry but you're completely wrong on this one, I'm not in any competition with my ex nor do I ever score parenting points. I don't see being in a relationship as success, I was single for 5 years after we split up, while he was with his now ex. This isn't about competition with my ex this is about having time to concentrate just on my daughter, I have a good relationship with my ex and my daughter is unaware of any drama there might have been.

Why can’t you do the right thing for yourself?

Work that out before you enter into another relationship. For now, dump for your own sake.

I think you've lost sight of what a good relationship looks like.

Emotionally draining and hard work isn't it.

End the relationship because it's not working for you or making you happy.

Your ex is obviously useless too but sadly I'm not sure what you can do about that. He's already an ex.

Well a decent partner would understand if you need to pay more attention to your kids and focus of them for whatever reason. A man who resents you focusing on your kids and their needs is not a keeper

It should not be a competition and if he makes it so, you have a problem

@AutumnHibernator
Why are you ignoring everyone saying that this guy is not a good boyfriend and you should be ending it for that reason and for no reason to do with your daughter.

I'm not ignoring it, I'm reading every post and taking it on board. I replied to one particular comment to defend myself because this isn't about point scoring on my ex, it's about my daughter.

That’s great news op. So the follow on question would be - why on Earth are you with this horrible controlling man then?

Don't put this on your DD. You're in a bad relationship and you want to end it. End it. What your DD is going through is a separate issue and it seems unfair to your DD to use her as an excuse to end the relationship.

Trust me I have asked myself this, we have very good times and he's very caring but is too much at times and makes life very hard work.

Wait, are you the one who has posted about a new-ish WLW relationship who you spend loads of money on to the detriment of your own child's needs?

If your relationship is draining and demanding fuck it off.

Life is to be enjoyed. That sounds shit.

You need to end the relationship because it sounds crap.

Not me! I have just enough for me and my daughter, nevermind anyone else 🙈

I think a good relationship would be one where your partner wasn't trampling your boundaries and jealous of your relationship with your own daughter.

I don't think you're wrong to discuss the two issues at the same time - maybe you thought you could put up with the nonsense behaviour from your partner when things were steady... But this situation has highlighted a real problem in your relationship. You should be able to support your daughter without your partner getting the hump about it. It doesn't sound like a good relationship.