To end my relationship to concentrate on my daughter.

[AutumnHibernator]

My exH has split up from his girlfriend and as per usual he's back dating again within 2 weeks of the split 🙄

Anyway, he's now brought my daughter home early 3 times or cancelled having her in order to go on a date.

I'm in a relationship which can be emotionally draining and demanding to be honest, my daughter is completely aware of why her Dad is not having her as he tells her, as if she'll be excited for him! She's clearly feeling a bit lost and emotional about this, and I'm wondering if I should just end my relationship in order to completely focus on her and be stable for her sake?

I’d end the relationship on this alone.

Dump him because he sounds like a nightmare. Don't dump him because of your daughter.

Having read all your posts, @AutumnHibernator , I think let this one go and let it be just you and your dd. It’s not worth your energy trying to manage this man, and as you say your dd needs at least one of her parents to be centring her at the moment.

You might meet someone later on who is prepared to be a decent man, but this one isn’t going to.

This sounds an awful relationship. I don’t care why you dump him, just as long as you please dump him! 🙏

If your romantic relationship is emotional draining and demanding then you should end it for your own sake.

Your ex was awful and now your current boyfriend is awful. Dump him, focus on your daughter and before you date again do the Freedom Programme.

“…can be emotionally draining and demanding”.

“…makes life very hard work”

Speaks volumes. Relationships shouldn’t be like this. He sounds like a petulant child, having a toddler tantrum when you don’t prioritise him. I guess he’s making you feel guilty when you put your child first.

End the relationship. Look after your child. Find yourself a decent fella who acknowledges that your dc always comes first.

It’s sounds like you can’t give the time you want to your daughter and keep this man happy. Definitely end it, if he can’t see why your dd is your priority not him he’s not worth it.

Your poor daughter has TWO parents who have prioritised dating above spending time with her.
Poor girl!

Your partner sounds controlling. Apologies for catastrophising, but do you feel safe ending it?

Wow some judgey posters on here op!

But as a few have said, your relationship doesn’t sound healthy or happy. It sounds like you need to focus on you (and yes, definitely your daughter too) and tell him to go and be a baby somewhere else.

End the relationship because 'they' are a nightmare.

Lone parent here ditch the boyfriend and focus on your DD and your career. I did and have no regrets.

The fact you have even had to ask that says the relationship should end. It's not a healthy relationship.

Healthy relationships should not be " demanding and emotionally draining" and you are at this time, teaching DD how she should be treated. And to " sulk" if you have to prioritise your daughter is an immediate red flag, that your DD will feel even if she doesn't see or hear.

Don't be that parent. And show DD that she does have one parent that will always put her first.

I'm living proof that if you don't, she will never forgive you, despite anything you try and do to offset the choice you made for the rest of your life.

I think both you should always have your daughter’s needs first but regardless of being a parent or not, being with a controlling man is a terrible idea and you should leave him. But not because of your daughter - because you deserve better

I voted YABU you can end your relationship for whatever reason you feel like but don’t you dare use your DD as your scapegoat that’s not fair on her she’s going through enough with her dad being so useless don’t make things worse for her by making her the reason you want out of your current relationship.

Both you and your ex seem to be putting getting sex above your daughter. You're as bad as each other. Poor girl.

If it's emotionally draining, you should get out for your own well being AS WELL as for your daughter.

Why on earth are so many posters being so horrid? You can say what you think without being so derogatory, some PPs sound like they are screaming at the OP.

These might be separate issues but our lives don't generally compartmentalize like that nor do things always seem so clear from the inside.

OP, ignore the abuse. I think your relationship sounds terrible and you should end it, but you also need to speak to your ex, the way he is behaving is not fair on your daughter or you. He can't just cancel when it's his time, perhaps saying he needs to sort his own childcare rather than expect you to step in might focus his mind a bit?

Yes please do end it and prioritize your child.

This post has touched a nerve as by a strange twist of fate I ended up having dinner with my late ex stepdad's daughter and we both shared a lot of stuff about growing up with her dad (who she was NC for 30 years before he died). It brought a lot of memories flooding back, mainly how he worked tirelessly to prevent my mun giving me any attention.

I remember I'd sometimes bump into her in the kitchen (I had to use a separate sitting room and was only allowed in the kitchen for one hour in the morning and the evening) and it would be like a stolen moment together before he'd appear shouting from that living room to come back.

She was gobsmacked and honestly so was I. It didn't begin like that but he wore her down.

She asked me am I angry with my mother now for letting it happen and I said no I let it go but I also let her go emotionally and haven't fell close to her for decades.

Don't let this happen.

Your partner shouldn't be sulking. He should understand you and your DC are a team and admire that you are a good parent trying to do the right thing.

Get rid of him.

@AutumnHibernator

If a grown adults sulks because you quite rightly prioritise your child when necessary, they need to be set loose immediately, regardless of the fact that your poor girl has a selfish twat for a father.

Just focus on you & your daughter for a bit. Be her constant. She'll see that at some point & forever appreciate it.

Get rid of this demanding controlling person.....he sounds abusive.

Your daughter needs your attention and you would be wise to focus on her needs before her emotional neglect becomes a serious issue.

He father is a loser, clearly, but you will be left picking up the pieces of her emotional issues.

Dump the loser. Take a complete break from men.
Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Focus on your daughter.
You won't regret it.

A grown man who sulks when he doesn't get what he wants is manipulative, and not worth the effort.

End it for your sake and your dd's.

You 'end this for your daughter' by modeling, to her, how you're ending this for yourself.

The ex is irrelevant

... they demand a lot of my time, like trying to see me everyday even coming into my work and sulks if I have to cancel plans because of DD.

YANBU to end the relationship; the above would be more than enough reason even without the specific part about your DD. He's controlling and manipulative and it'll likely only get worse. But please don't give her the idea that she has anything to do with your ending it; you're ending it because THIS relationship isn't healthy and doesn't work for you, and that's absolutely your decision and your right.

If you and the ex have a 50/50 arrangement, and he continues to renege, consider adjusting the CAO (or getting one in place, if it's currently an informal arrangement). If he's falling below his allocated 182 nights a year, make sure you're getting whatever CMS you're entitled to. It's piggish of him to do what he's doing BECAUSE of the impact on your child; don't make it easy for him.