Kids missed 3wks school, council taking me to court!

[Questionairballoon]

Hi all,

I am very unsure about what to do.

DC aged 6 and 8. I took them on holiday this summer. missed the last 3 weeks of school (July 2025).

For context, their attendance is always good. Only time they ever miss school is when poorly. They enjoy going. Last time we took them on holiday they were 3 and 5 and they missed maybe 2 weeks of nursery/school.

Before we left this time, I emailed the head teacher and spoke with the staff partly to apologise and also to find out what they might miss for the last 3 weeks so I could cover with them if needed. For what it’s worth, both kids do well in school. Teachers wished us happy hols and we left on a positive note.

The holiday was 2 weeks in Europe and 2 weeks in America. They had some fantastic experiences and got to meet relatives who live abroad. We were back in August, they had almost a month to recoup and then back to school business as usual!

We expected a fine but got nothing. This week, I’ve received a court order telling me to expect paperwork where I’ll be “pleading guilty or not guilty”.

I’m gobsmacked tbh. Has anyone been in this situation? Any advice at all? I don’t even know what to say!

Given your kids are at an independent school, you likely have the funds to fly at expensive times. Most parents don't have that level of choice.

How do you suggest teachers justify and record their decision to let Phoebe and Ezra's parents take them on a safari holiday to Kenya but report Tyler's parents for taking him to Butlins?

@Silveristhecolour

A good parent who is providing enriching experiences for their children is not the same as a feckless parent who lets a child truant on a frequent basis. And to suggest that they deserve a criminal record is utterly ridiculous.

But again, how on earth is the LA supposed to know this?

If FGM was something that the family did for cultural reasons and not just because they are sickos. They are going to do it anyway. No rules about school attendance are going to stop them.

What family is going to say well we can’t do fgm on Anele because she has to go to school and we will be fined. Let’s wait till the holidays.

ps I live in a country where fgm is a common cultural practice.

You keep saying you’re not suggesting teachers make decisions and then contradict yourself in the next sentence.

It shouldn’t be anything to do with the teacher who gets fined for term time holidays and who doesn’t. That means a teacher shouldn’t have any input into the matter at all.

Even during the rest of the school year, my children take extra language classes with a teacher who is based abroad (so the fees are a little less expensive).

It’s 30 and 60 min sessions on Zoom. Nothing extraordinary. Not sure why it’s hard to believe.

School absenteeism laws have not been designed to prevent family holidays, Butlins or the Bahamas. I don’t have an issue with primary school kids spending time with their families in either location.

its the parents who don’t give a shit whether their kids attend school or not and don’t know where they are half the time.

I’ve worked for social services. You absolutely do know and can tell the difference. And teachers must be able to as well?
Moreover, if this was reported to Social Services? It wouldn’t even get looked at. Perhaps a conversation with the teachers about general absence. Once it was established that there is in fact, no issue, case closed. No child was harmed here!

I don’t need to show you proof as you are a random angry person on the internet but I have proof of the following:

Online homework and extra work kids have done to revise/recap curriculum

Online language tutor

Online maths tutor (I took responsibility for English once we got back from the holiday but on holiday we read every night and I encourage reading whenever there is time)

The kids completed actual activity books that I had purchased online

Exactly. What gets me is there is so many kids stuck in awful schools on a daily basis, those schools aren't being taken to court for failing to safeguard kids in their care or for failing to deal with bullying etc etc I could go on. The situation is complex but this is not the way to deal with non attendance. We've blindly walking into an authoritative state if we can end up with a criminal record for taking our own kids on a 3 week holiday. Every European country had a statutory school age and none are like this when it comes to attendance. Some of the replies on here are scary.

I don't think OP deserves a criminal record but the law and the consequences of breaking it has to be uniform when it comes to children's education and unauthorised absence. It's all very well posters advocating that parents should be allowed to whip their kids out of class for weeks at time, but the impact on their outcomes and that of the rest of the class can't be denied.

When a child is off for a prolonged amount of time, the teacher has to spend time helping them catch up while also continuing to teach the rest of the class. It causes disruption, extra workload for the teacher and can result in bits of the curriculum being missed. And yes, that does still matter in primary, because those years are the foundation block for secondary school learning.

So, rightly, I think teachers and other parents would take a dim view of a class of 30 kids being held back to help little Johnny catch up just because his parents decided they fancied taking him round Europe for three weeks in term time. That's why the rules have to be uniform. If parents don't like it and want more freedom, the answer is simple: deregister and home school.

A block of 3 weeks absence in 3yrs is unlikely to be a neglectful parent and whilst the reason for the absence should be checked in case of neglect, it's unlikely to be the same parent whose children miss 3 days out of 5 and are constantly late without the required equipment for school.
And no, it doesn't really matter if the child is Tarquin spending 3 weeks on safari or Chelsea spending 3wks at Butlins. In fact Chelsea is probably more justified as it may be the only time their parents can afford a break away.

Life is short people. 3wks in 3yrs is not going to break your child's education.

When I was a child (9/10/11) my parents used to take me out of school for holidays in June - we would drive down to Spain. There was never any fuss about it, BUT I had to take all my schoolbooks and had to do at least 2/3 hours schoolwork every afternoon with various questions/requirements.

There are now strict laws about attendance and how fines are issued, and how absences are coded. OP has fallen foul of changes made by the DfE

I don't think you should be overly concerned about getting a 'record' as when a check is done the reason will be listed, and taking your kids out of school to visit family doesn't make you a safeguarding risk.

I think you need to push the line when - if - you go to court that you were visiting family, it wasn't a month at Disney.

Hopefully a solicitor can give you some good advice.

I never took my kids on holiday during term time, but I don't get why so many people are kicking you while you're down - it's not as if you're going to do it again, and they're very young, it's not as if they've missed out on the 7 times tables and will therefore never know what 7x8 is.

I don’t believe anyone should get fined for taking their kids out of school for the odd family holiday.

The teachers will absolutely be able to tell which kids are being affected by frequent absenteeism. And it is more likely that any negative affect is not going to be from a family holiday.

Those are the kids whose parents need to be referred for further investigation.

Do your teachers honestly not have any capacity to make an opinion about the individual wellbeing of the children they teach on an individual basis or do you really need one broad sweeping net that paints every parent as bad?

That proof might be accepted as mitigation to lower the amount of the fine but if you plead guilty, you'll will still be convicted. I really do think you need to speak to a solicitor to see if it's worth denying the charge and mounting a defence. Because if you and your DH/DP are both named on the summons, you're both going to receive a criminal record.

What's interesting to me is I don't understand the long term plans here. There are parents who abuse their kids and don't end up with criminal records. The threshold for child protection is only getting higher, yet this sort of stuff is going through courts? What happens when the child's parent ends up with a criminal record and loses their job? Surely that's way worse for the child than a holiday.

I wish the laws were as strict around safeguarding in general.

Sure they did. Just like you’re a teacher too.

As I say…. Council will want proof

and you’re going to need thick skin at drop off and collection OP! This will be the talk of the school gate

OP I think all you can do now is make the most of a difficult situation. Having homeschooled for a few years when my DD was younger I’m aware of the LA’s stance on education - and it doesn’t have to take place in a school.

I haven’t rtft but I saw your post regarding organising tutors for your DC over the holidays, which at shows you made efforts to educate them (beyond what many would do in the holidays). A visit to grandparents abroad is also important culturally so how about a project with your DC about their visit, to show the LA there was value for them in the experience? That coupled with an admission of lack of judgement regarding the timing and an assurance it won’t happen again. Wishing you luck.

Honestly, you seem like you have quite a shitty and boring life if it gives you pleasure to pretend others are lying (to you? Because you’re so important to me? A stranger on the internet? 😂) and mocking me for being school run gossip.

If my anxiety was as bad now as it was when I was a teacher, maybe your words would have cut me a lot deeper. But thankfully I can see you’re just a bitter person with nothing much else going on in your life. Hopefully you don’t rub off this unkindness to your children. Quite sad really.

you are a random angry person on the internet but I have proof of the following:

not least bit angry.

i find the thread both a bit funny (all the talk of you paying for private tutors whilst you were away, changing the ages of the children (as if that was going to be the outing feature of the thread!!) and that you’re a teacher no less!) and also a bit…. Yep, I’m kind of pleased about this.

God this is painful. Teachers may well be able to tell whether absence is causing an issue or whether a parent is supportive at home or not. But they shouldn’t be responsible for passing this information along in the process of investigating an unauthorised absence. Parents are regularly removed and banned from school premises for threatening behaviour - do you really think a teacher should be put in the position of having an angry parent turn up to discuss why they’ve given negative feedback to the LA and have been fined for their 2 weeks in Benidorm?

And just one more time. This is a law. Laws must apply to everyone, not just the feckless parents. That’s how laws work.

Oh dear OP

You need a holiday (not in term time!!)