To be fed up of crappy dinners?

[WoIsMe]

My DH likes to make dinner in the evening which should be great since I don’t have to cook, however the food is either poorly prepared or not big enough portions. The children and I are getting fed up. DH and I do low carb and intermittent fasting, we don’t eat dessert, and our children are both in puberty so they need more calories at the moment. DH and I only eat twice a day so we all need pretty big meals. So far this week we’ve had…

Monday: Chicken Caesar salad - actually very nice but mostly lettuce (no croutons for DH and I) so it wasn’t filling.
Tuesday: pork chop (seasoned with salt, pepper and garlic purée ) with braised white cabbage. The pork chop was plain and tasteless; the cabbage was nice but I can’t eat half a plate of cabbage - it’s too much fibre.
Wednesday: steak tagliata - again very nice but it was just one small rump steak and cherry tomatoes so not very filling again.
Thursday: chicken tikka curry made with 900g chicken between four of us and no vegetables in the recipe so, again, a small portion.

I was triggered to make this post by finding out he’s bought a 500g pork fillet to make a stir fry tonight for all four of us. I’m sure there will be some veg in there but I’ve had scrambled eggs with cheese for brunch so there’s no way that will be enough food for a whole day. I don’t want to go on a diet but I don’t have much choice! I don’t mind cooking and I’ve suggested that we take turns but DH insists on doing it almost every day.

AIBU and I should be grateful that my DH wants to cook dinner every day?
AINBU because my children and I deserve enough food?

Honestly... I'd just tell him to cook for himself or accept that you want to cook at least 50% of the time.
Maybe if he sees your portion sizes he will realise why you are dissatisfied with his.

@takealettermsjones

when you’re on a diet you kind of have to tolerate being a bit hungry, it’s par the course

But he hasn’t gone to any effort - has he?

I feel very sorry for your children. If their mother doesn’t dare say anything what hope for them? Will you just let them go hungry?

I know it’s hard, OP, but really, you do need to take the situation in hand.

You sound scared of him. This is a fairly tame issue to resolve. How do you manage with more serious conflict or disagreements?

She said she didn't want to be on a diet. This comment was made before OP clarified that she's low carb because of an insulin issue, though, so beside the point now.

900g of chicken in a curry is a lot IMO, we have 500g between 4.

I was assuming 900g must have been a typo. I'd do max 100g per person for something like a curry.

The meals sound ample to me

Us too, but with veggies. It sounds like they’re not using a lot of veg so it’s really just a pile of meat. And big portions of the meat with nothing on the side as she isn’t eating carbs.

I'd tell him that you won't criticise him but neither will you eat crap food to placate him either. So if you and the kids don't like what he cooks, you'll all be making something else afterwards.

Just tell him to cook 50% more. He can still have a small portion.
Or you dish it out between you and kids and tell him there's not enough for him

It isn’t the first time he’s made it. Every time I say I can’t eat half a plate of cabbage.

Well I guess your just going to have to put up with it since you dismiss everyone's suggestions.

The only other thing I can suggest is some quick microwave sides you can zap quickly once he's done?

You can get nice veg medley

Then get some high protein snack for later if your still hungry

@WoIsMe

tbf I would never butter the bread for a ham sandwich either. It doesn’t need it. It’s better for you not too as well.

I can't understand this.cant you just eat stuff from your fridge?make a quick salad to go with the meal (obviously not with the salad but can't see how kids can only have salad for tea,no wonder they are hungry).if he's cooking are you chatting with him/laying the table?can't you just say,oh I'm starving tonight il just out on some peas/broccoli or as he cooks chat while eating a carrot/bowl of tomatoes etc?and whats wrong with half a plate of cabbage?you saying not enough vegetables at the same time as too much vegetables? Or if hungry after tea just give the kids a yogurt/banana 'split' etc.i would offer bread with the meals so the kids get enough carbs and just put out the butter for them to help themselves surely?

Could you have the meal he cooks but something else with it. You could have a picky bowl or cheese, olives, stuffed peppers etc...
Why do you avoid dessert. If you are still hungry, have some. Dessert can be healthy too (I have raspberries Greek yogurt and seeds)
Perhaps even a handful of nuts and a banana before bed.

I got to the bit about 900g of chicken between 4 of you and that's not enough. I wonder how much you eat. I do 380-400g between 4 of us. DC are 14 and 11.

And if you are doing a stir fry, I assume it's Thai or Chinese. 500g of meat is far too much for a stir fry for 4. It normally has a lot less meat then you'd have on a plate with a pork chop.

I voted YABU because I don't know how you think it's not enough food from. the portions you are posting.

Well this is crazy - the whole family going without enough, decent food because the cook won't take feedback.

You're going to have to be straight with him and say that you need more food and if you don't get it you're going to cook for the family. He can like it or lump it and if he gets the hump he can cook his own dry chop.

The alternative is for the rest of you to go hungry for the rest of your days.

They’re not starving as it’s only one meal a day; It’s more the depressing nature of the food. The stir fry today was actually really good with loads of veggies. DH and I had ours with cauliflower rice and the kids had theirs with rice but they didn’t eat the rice or much of the vegetables. That’s why we need bigger amounts of meat since they’ll definitely eat it.

We completely share our finances so there’s no issue with access to money. I would say we spend more than average on food but his portion sizes are erratic.

It should be plenty but I would put vegetables in a curry. DH’s curry was only chicken in tikka sauce and rice for the children (that they didn’t eat) so it made for a small portion.

I do intermittent fasting to keep my insulin levels low so I eat twice a day. I’m slightly above average height so I need around 2,000 calories per day, that’s around 1,000 per meal. 225g chicken breast is only 371 calories plus, say 150 for the sauce, it really isn’t a lot of food.

Half a plate of cabbage is a lot of fibre; I would be farting all night. The kids can eat more food after dinner but it’s toast or snack food so not as nutritious. They’re not keen on fruit and they’re both allergic to dairy so yogurts are out. Honestly it sounds like they’re really fussy eaters but they do okay, and my adult children became more adventurous as they got older.

DH doesn’t like anyone in the kitchen when he’s cooking so there’s no chance of making more food. Tbh I wasn’t expecting so many responses on this thread. It’s just been a bad food week and it’s seemed that every dinner is another disappointment. Maybe I live in optimistic hope that the next one will be better. I’ll try and raise the topic with him tomorrow when we’re not so busy.

Your kids don’t need extra meat. They need to eat their carbs and veg.

Four out of six people in the family are allergic to dairy and we keep sugar intake low due to DH and I low carbing and two of the children have enamel hypoplasia so it’s easier not to have dessert. I used to do more of the cooking but DH has taken it over. I was annoyed about the pork chops as I had meant to put them into a marinade but he got into the kitchen first and started cooking them. I asked him to put some herbs on but he thought the garlic was enough. It was so tasteless, what a waste of a good pork chop.

My youngest loves meat, maybe he’ll be a carnivore when he grows up! My oldest child had ARFID so we don’t pressure any of the kids to eat anything. What they eat will work out in time, the oldest two are reasonably adventurous now. My third child has discovered salad in a big way this year after refusing to eat most green foods when he was younger. He ate sweetcorn for the first time this week. They’ll come round.