Dreading first holiday abroad with DS

[80schildd]

Nothing is booked yet but my DH is adamant he wants us to go abroad (Tenerife) in early December when our DS will be 17 months.

I just can’t see past this being really stressful, the travelling, not being able to relax, worrying about food etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think this? He says he will be fine once we are there. Positive stories from anyone who has done it would be welcome!

Honestly?
If i had my time again I wouldn't go on holidays woth dc <4.
I'd do day trips instead.
Make sure you've made clear to your dh that childcare will be 50:50 and you won't be the one stuck in the room getting dc to sleep

A mixture always worked fine for us. Plenty of museums and cathedrals and plenty of outdoor ruins and actual playgrounds.

But we've always expected DC to fit into our holidays mostly. We have more breaks in the day, are more led by the need for snacks and will do a couple of days just at the pool and dinner needs to be more carefully picked but other than that it isn't much different.

The sooner you start, the quicker travelling will become normality for him and you.

Mine have all been abroad starting at 7 months with no issues.

Ours was 3 months old the first time we took him away, it was absolutely lovely. He’s been at all ages. At 17 months all you really need to do is plan for entertaining him on the flight and not let him near water on his own.

Honestly u will have all the same daily things to do just in a different place. Yabu. As soon as u get there go to supermarket. They have real fruit and veg abroad you know. Book an apartment you can cook your child’s own food if need be. You are panicking over nothing. How do you think kids abroad live?

Really? I’d always go all inclusive, all meals cooked for you to yours and your kids liking without having to trot round finding ingredients and stocking cupboards. Easy enough to provide fruit/porridge snacks on demand from the in room fridge as well. Can still sit up on the balcony with drinks and have a much greater variety of drinks to choose from. You also have the benefit of not stressing if you can’t finish a meal/have to leave drinks because your child is unsettled as you’re not thinking “gosh I’ve just ordered that £10 cocktail”.

I don't like the food in all inclusive. Am vegetarian, don't like buffets. And prefer the space in an apartment too. Can eat out or eat in as you like, eat whatever time you like. Just more flexible.

Very different age range but we went to the Canary Islands with our son when he was 8 months old and honestly it was one of the best holidays of my life, easy, fun and just wonderful. Our boy is now nearly two plus we now have a three month old little girl and we’re planning a similar holiday for the end of this year. My partner was very much like you and I was very much like your husband. I think the best thing to do sometimes is just bite the bullet and see! Worst case scenario is that it’ll be difficult, but at least it will be difficult in lovely weather and hopefully access to a pool and all inclusive bar 😁

Ive done it plenty of times and while it’s a change of scenery, it doesn’t feel like much of a holiday or break.

depending on your child, it can be quite stressful.

What are dh expectations of the holiday? Will he be doing half the parenting or does he expect it to be a nice restful holiday for him while you take care of ds?

I think it actually depends a lot on you and how much you genuinely enjoy travel. I realised once I had my first DC that I've always actually found the annoying bits of travel quite stressful (airports, timezones, getting your bearings in a new environment) but while I only had myself to think about, it was worth it to see new things and have new experiences and minor inconveniences weren't a big deal. With little DC in tow though it just feels to me like a massive faff to go somewhere they won't even remember and I won't really enjoy it because I'm constantly on edge about flight delays, sickness (someone has had D&V literally every time we've gone anywhere), unexpected hazards, sunburn or any of the other mountain of things it feels like parents have to worry about! We have to travel transatlantic once a year to see family and we visit other family abroad elsewhere too at least once a year, and that's more than enough for me until they're a bit older.

Agree whole heartedly. Don't overthink it, just prepare for the 4 hour flight and the rest will be fine. Children are more resilient than you think. Plenty of sunscreen , a comfy pushchair, food that they love to eat and you'll have a wonderful time.

Won't be hot in tenerife in December

some of these responses are a little harsh. Lots of people worry about taking their little ones on holiday, myself included. For some it isn’t anything to worry about but for others it’s incredibly daunting. I almost cancelled our first holiday as I was so worried! We went when our poppet was 12 months and it was lovely but age 3 it was harder. Wouldn’t eat any food, went to bed late and woke up early and I just found it exhausting! Maybe do a long wkend? Zxx

I took two of mine aged 4 and 1 on holiday. As a single parent alone I was not stuck in a hotel room all night. Eldest rarely slept anyway so enjoyed entertainment and youngest slept in buggy

Mind you I have never done holidays that constantly involve sitting around a bloody pool. Be bored to death within an hour

I found travelling with a baby really tough, I didn't enjoy it at all, I found it hard. Had a terrible time and argued with my DH on the hols as it was his idea. I just wasn’t laid back enough though, but that’s me. Some people find it a breeze.

Exactly this. Not sure why people think there’s a magic age and waste years of their lives waiting. Kids remember and it becomes easier. My 3yo will get on and look for the headphones for the movies. Then will ask for her snacks. We have a bag of ‘new’ toys to keep as well. You just do it and they will get used to it

I probably wouldn't choose Tenerife in December, it's not going to be hot and the pool will be cold.

Also at that age he will be as happy if not happier at Butlins or Bluestone or something - mine all liked the pool, softplay, playgrounds and you definitely don't need to do a 4 hour flight for that.
Or Eurocamp type holidays so you can take your own car and go to the supermarket.

I'd leave the hotel abroad holidays til they're 3 or 4 - choose somewhere with a kids club and go when it's warm!

We went to Tenerife for our summer holiday. The hotel was called something like Landmar Costa Los Gigantes. It was brilliant and really family focused. Lots of entertainment and the food was fantastic.

Travelled with a 7 month old to the US, was perfectly fine and we had a great time.

When our kids were this age they absolutely loved airports and being somewhere different. Buying a seat on the plane for them is helpful if you can. Don't worry about food - there's plenty in Tenerife! Your little one will have a great time if you just assume they will, and even if they don't then the world won't end.

Put it into perspective. You can afford to go abroad with your lovely little family. It won’t be like what it was like before kids but you get to make memories with them. Don’t dread something you will look back on later in life and wish you had embraced it more. There is too much pressure for everything to be perfect. It won’t be! But you will be with the people you love for a week without all the interruptions of home life.

Why will you be worrying about food?

You won't be able to relax, particularly around the water.

We did one holiday with DH at 18 months and then gave up on pool type holidays until this year (youngest is 6). City breaks were much better, along with camping in the summer.

My ds was born in Tenerife!

So I did the holidays in reverse when he was that age and it was fine. He took a while to get used to having to wear a coat hat and gloves but he’d been coming to the uk from 6 weeks old so I think it was probably normal toddler refusal in some respects as well as finding it restrictive when he lived in shorts and t shirts normally 😂

As long as you aren’t thinking it’ll be hours by the pool reading you’ll be fine. There’s lots to see and do.

What area are you thinking travelling to?