Dreading first holiday abroad with DS

[80schildd]

Nothing is booked yet but my DH is adamant he wants us to go abroad (Tenerife) in early December when our DS will be 17 months.

I just can’t see past this being really stressful, the travelling, not being able to relax, worrying about food etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think this? He says he will be fine once we are there. Positive stories from anyone who has done it would be welcome!

No probs its the HD Parque Cristobal. Its not a hotel block but separate little self catering apartments each with outside space. Lots of people are all inclusive. We have only had breakfast here as we never do AI and like to go out for dinner, but we have been told the food is very good.

Yeah I have a 1 year old who has done two long haul flights now because of family and also a holiday a 3 hour flight away because similarly my DH insisted it will be fun.

It's completely and utterly shit. He never, ever sleeps when we are away from home. Ever. Every time we are in a new place, he wakes every 2 hours for the first week at least, and he suddenly only wants his mum. Naps for 30 minutes at a time and is overtired all day.

What great fucking holidays.

Some babies like their routine. Having a good sleeper who is happy to sleep anywhere and in a pram on holiday is not your own achievement, it's pure luck.

Oh, and yes my DH is hands on and tries to do his bit. But nothing can help with the sleep deprivation which in turn affects everything.

I agree with pp - there are some really weird attitudes to travelling with kids - particularly from people who have never done so.

We’ve got 4 children and have travelled with them all since they were babies. It’s never totally plain sailing but it’s absolutely never been awful. My biggest piece of advice would be to book a hotel with a heated pool.

I live in Tenerife and there are so many things for children. It’s such a child friendly place. The weather in December won’t be warm but if you find a hotel with a heated pool you’ll be fine. I have a young ds and we are never stuck for things to do.

I'm not sure what your worry is? We have travelled with all of ours since they were tiny. At 3 and 18 months we took them to Barbados for two weeks, flight was absolutely fine and we didn't have a seat for the little one. Go and live a little!

So long as he's an active parent and he's not having a lovely break whist you do all the parenting then I can't see what the problem is.

No from me. I never understood this "need" to take under 4s on a hot holiday.

We had a 'heated' pool in Tenerife in feb, DD would come out with blue feet because it was barely warm!
A 4 hour flight is also difficult with that age unless he will sit and watch an iPad for the whole time 😆

Agree with this, we took DD1 to Greece when she was 18 months old, and whilst we had a good time it was also very challenging and far from relaxing. DD1 really struggled with the jet lag and was unsettled with the new surroundings, and generally more grizzly. Plus having to cart prams, luggage and other baby paraphanelia in airports and a foreign country was a faff.

The stress, cost and hassle for an abroad holiday with a young family wasnt worth it for us, we found it easier to stay in the UK and take a punt with the weather. We are braving abroad next year but DD2 will be nearly four, so hoping things will run a lot smoother.

Ive always said take them before 6 months old, and then have a 2 year break.
We took my eldest to Cyprus to visit family when he was 18 months and it was awful

Lol at go live a little.

I flew long haul at 6 months and my baby SCREAMED for the first 7 hours. He was so freaked out by the plane and everything. Just screamed, wouldn't breastfeed, wouldn't sleep (it was a night flight), wouldn't be comforted by anyone except me.m and I had to walk up and down the aisle constantly bouncing him for him to stop screaming for a minute here and there. For 7 hours. He exhausted himself at that point and slept for 3 hours until we landed, when he got pissed off for being woken up so he screamed some more.

And when we got to our destination, he proceeded to wake every 2 hours for the first week and only slightly better the second week. I didn't get any sleep until we came home.

Did it again at 13 months and it wasn't much better.

It's nice that it worked for you.

We always took our children away when they were babies. My advice is self catering just because you will have more space and not cooped up in a hotel room. You can have snacks at apartment and eat out. Definitely allows more flexibility.

I've been on holidays with mine at all different baby ages and I personally have always enjoyed overall! I took my eldest when she was 18 months to Australia and it was long - but we got through it! Tenerife in December sounds wonderful to me.

I took our daughter to Spain at 5m, and we drove to Italy when she was 11m. We've just got back from Denmark with our 6 children, including a 7m month old. What is it about food you're worried about? There will be lots to choose from, and at 17m they must be eating lots of different things? Holidays aren't stressful if you lower expectations and just relax you mindset. Enjoy the sun, baby in the pool, naps, eating and lazy evenings. Sounds great!

We took DS at 11 months and then again at 23 months, I think the key thing is picking a family friendly accommodation and having realistic expectations of what you’ll do. I would have sat reading on a sun lounger pre DS and there’s no chance of that now - swimming, playground, walks out in the pushchair, going to see boats or planes are how we’ve spent our holidays together since. It’s not been relaxing going away with a small child but we’ve had a good time and not regretted going.

If you can change the timing, I would. I’ve travelled with a 4 month old (6hr flight), a 2.5 year old (2hr flight) and a 3.5 year old (2 days of driving) and they were all great trips - not the same as pre-baby trips but still definitely worth doing. I think 17m is seen as one of the harder times to travel - they just want to move, they’re stuck in a seat etc. it’s not going to be easy. If you can postpone a little and/or get a shorter flight, I would recommend it. BUT loads of people do travel with kids that age and have great holidays. I would stress that a lot of the stress relates to how helpful your OH is on holiday. If they’re going to stare helplessly at you as your kid kicks off on the plane or be useless by the pool while you chase a toddler around, just don’t do it! If they’re hands on and you can rely on them to actually help you enjoy the holiday, you’ll be fine (even if the flight feels like you’re trapped in hell!).

This.
@80schildd What sort of holidays are you used to?

If it usually (until now) involves you both drinking alcohol, meals out then dancing until late evening, etc., that is not going to work with a child.

Equally, if you like to do a lot of site seeing, on the move for 6-8 hours and stopping only for lunch, that won't work with a child.

If you both don't drink much, prefer to laze around on sunbeds/beach, and are both early to bed most nights, that could work.
But you will need to take turns keeping an eagle eye on the child around water, so you can't both be reading / on your phones at the same time.

We took DS on his first holiday abroad at 8 months and second at 18 months. Both were great. He slept fine on the flights, ate bits and bobs. Started each day with some porridge and scrambled egg etc from the breakfast buffet. Bit of time in the pool but mostly out and about on various trips.

Will Tenerife have enough to do would be my only concern. If you're planning all day every day at the pool that will be boring for him and tense for you.

Equally, if you like to do a lot of site seeing, on the move for 6-8 hours and stopping only for lunch, that won't work with a child.

If you both don't drink much, prefer to laze around on sunbeds/beach, and are both early to bed most nights, that could work.
I'd say the opposite! On the go seeing different places and keeping them entertained at different sights and museums with an extra snack break far easier than trying to keep them entertained at a pool all day where you end up frustrated because you can't relax.

This too.
At 17 months, it really depends on the child how much time they will be happy on a beach or at the toddler pool. They will probably need at least one parent actively 'playing' with them most of the time, so both parents can't relax at the same time.

If they are bored easily and very mobile, then you will be spending most of the holiday at play parks and attractions designed for small children.

Make sure your DH fully understands this before you agree to go.

Dramatic!

My favourite holiday was with my son at this age, it will be more routine than your usual pre-children holiday but he enjoyed every minute. Look at it more positively and you’ll have the best time.

I’ve always really enjoyed travelling with mine (took ds to Barcelona completely on my own at 8 months). But you need to manage your expectations.

Resort/beach/pool holidays are not so enjoyable. You can’t really relax with a toddler at a pool or on the beach. It’s fine if you each trade off. One of you takes ds out in the morning and the other does the afternoon, that way you each get half a day to read and swim or whatever.

But I’ve done lots of city breaks with mine when little. Cafes, lots of playgrounds, botanical gardens, zoo, little toddler water parks, trips to the beach but not whole days, museums, public transport is very interesting (buses, trains, metro, water taxis). We build in a siesta every afternoon several hours in the holiday let in ac to get out of the heat and rest. Adjust to local time and go out for dinner at 8pm, then ice cream and playground til late, then home to bed around 10pm. Food never been an issue. My 8 month old ate everything at tapas bars and restaurants.

You do have to change the way you think of holidays though. It’s not sitting around by the pool anymore. It’s days out and organised rest time.

Lanzarote, self catering, use a company called easy 365 hire, to get cot, pram, high chair play pen etc
It can be done, but it does require organisation, being flexible and understanding the same challenges will present themselves, but in a place with none of your home comforts, but seeing them play in the sand, paddle in the sea, sleep whilst you sip sangria......

It depends on how well the child walks, how happy they are to sit in a pushchair for long periods, and what type of sites you visit.
Places where it is not acceptable for a child to run around shouting and playing (most museums for adults, churches and cathedrals, in fact most indoor places) will not work.
Outdoor areas, gardens and parks, castle ruins, zoos, etc. would work.