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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say that boys are better at high standard maths

101 replies

MellowRubyDreamer · 26/09/2025 00:47

My daughter is choosing her subjects for senior and her teacher is encouraging her to choose the hardest maths subject. Not in the UK. DD is good at maths at her girls' school but ultimately she will also be competing with the boys.

I am not saying boys are better at maths but they are better at high standard maths in proportion. Like for example in maths competition/olympiad the prizes are often dominated by boys. DD can choose as she pleases but I am just offering her perspective. She can do just as well but she might need to work harder. She thinks I am being sexist. AIBU?

OP posts:
FriNightBlues · 26/09/2025 07:25

Her biggest issue at this point is her mother.

Signed, a Maths graduate

Hoardasurass · 26/09/2025 07:31

@MellowRubyDreamer the women in my family all have maths degrees (except for my discalcik sister) and we all got 1sts or 2nds. None of the men do.
Half of us have physics degrees aswell (mostly maths).
@MellowRubyDreamer You either have a head for numbers or you don't but it has absolutely nothing to do with your sex. I'm honestly shocked at the level of sexism coming from you towards your daughter. You do realise that when girls and women aren't held back by sexist twits like you do better in stem subjects than boys/men and stem includes maths.
Just a thought but if you supported your dd instead of sabotaging her maybe she would be more confident about her maths skills and would get a 1st aswell.
Oh and did you know that the salvation army's entire global accounts department was run by a woman from the 1960s until the early 80s when they computerised the department. I do because that woman was a relative of mine who btw taught me to do trigonometry with an abacus and a logarithm book for fun

LGBirmingham · 26/09/2025 07:33

The majority of the structures team where I work are female engineers. You're talking nonsense.

meala · 26/09/2025 07:33

As a female and a lecturer with very high level maths qualifications I found your post extremely disappointing.
I’ve known and taught many exceptional female mathematicians. I’ve also known and taught exceptional male students. Sex doesn’t influence ability in maths- aptitude, effort, openness to think deeply and perseverance/tenacity are key!!
I hope your daughter pursues whatever interests her most and that she isn’t negatively impacted by your own opinions.

GnomeDePlume · 26/09/2025 07:36

Complet · 26/09/2025 07:10

This is absolutely true. It’s because boys have the added advantage of using their penises as both a ruler and protractor. Girls are better at English as they can use their breasts as hand free book support. It’s just plain biology guys, and you can’t deny it.

Edited

😆

Also girls' teeny tiny hands are too small for calculators but are best for turning pages in books. They also look best for waving around when speaking foreign languages in an 'authentic' manner.

@MellowRubyDreamer the thing which holds girls and then women back is the constant subliminal sexism which exists all around them.

Boys aren't innately better at maths. Public competitions are not representative because they are a self-selecting group. Public competition is celebrated for boys but all too frequently derided for girls. So fewer girls take part.

IamnotSethRogan · 26/09/2025 07:52

I wouldn't think her teacher would encourage her to do something if it was against her better interests. The teacher clearly has a lot of faith in your daughter so it's good someone has. Do not project this concern onto your daughter.

nutbrownhare15 · 26/09/2025 07:53

You are assuming that maths ability is an innate natural thing that boys are more likely to have. Even if that was true which I don't necessarily think it is, it is clear that many girls are socialised away from the subject (as you are doing now) which explains at least part of the gender disparity later on. In addition your daughter is her own person with her own natural abilities and her own work ethics. She may be naturally good at maths or she may need to work very hard at it, or both. The same as it is for any boy? Even if you argue they are as a sex naturally better at maths overall that doesn't mean every boy is naturally good at it. So even if what you say is true it isn't necessarily true for her. Please drop discouraging her.

Huntrix · 26/09/2025 08:53

Duckswaddle · 26/09/2025 07:05

Support your daughter, you twat.

Pretty much this. I can't believe this is still happening in 2025.

PumpkinSparkleFairy · 26/09/2025 09:13

Blimey how sexist!

mbosnz · 26/09/2025 09:28

So, in general, you need a little head, a willy, in order to think about big maths things with your big head? Why does a penis make you math better?

ShortColdandGrey · 26/09/2025 09:44

MellowRubyDreamer · 26/09/2025 02:18

She gets emotional easily and sometimes gets upset when she can't solve something.

Bloody hell how dare she show emotion. Are you implying that none of the boys will get upset if they can't solve something. Those bloody woman and their emotions. If this is a genuine post I feel sorry for your poor daughter having you as a parent. Hopefully she has someone else in her life that believes in her and can boost her confidence.

DancefloorAcrobatics · 26/09/2025 10:11

Famous Women right at the top of mathematics:

Ada Lovelace the daughter of the poet Lord Byron, is often considered the world’s first computer programmer. Her work on Charles Babbage’s Analytical Engine, an early mechanical general-purpose computer, was groundbreaking.

Dorothy Vaughan was an American mathematician and one of the first African-American women to work as a supervisor at NASA. She made significant contributions to the space programme, particularly in the early use of electronic computers.

Mary Cartwright was a British mathematician who made significant contributions to the study of non-linear differential equations and chaos theory. She was one of the first to recognise the chaotic behaviour in certain mathematical systems.

Maryam Mirzakhani was an Iranian mathematician and the first woman to win the prestigious Fields Medal, often referred to as the Nobel Prize of mathematics. Her work focused on the geometry of Riemann surfaces and their moduli spaces.

Shakuntala Devi known as the "Human Computer," was an Indian mathematician and writer who gained fame for her extraordinary mental calculation abilities. She demonstrated complex arithmetic abilities at a young age and became an international sensation for her mathematical prowess.

The list goes on @MellowRubyDreamer luckily for us, these women never gave up!

MyKhakiPanda · 26/09/2025 10:38

Jesu f-ing Christ OP, yes you're being sexist, and not only that helping to perpetuate the myth too. I fear for girls when even their parents are underestimating them.

Swiftie1878 · 26/09/2025 10:41

MellowRubyDreamer · 26/09/2025 02:59

Things like languages perhaps

OMG. You need to have a chat with yourself. 🤦🏼‍♀️

FOJN · 26/09/2025 10:49

I know it's unreasonable to feel so angry about your thread but I do so I'm going to try really hard to be polite.

You should let your daughter make her own decisions, she sounds clever, you are ill equipped to assist her.

Try to do better, your daughter deserves it.

JudgeJ · 26/09/2025 11:05

mbosnz · 26/09/2025 09:28

So, in general, you need a little head, a willy, in order to think about big maths things with your big head? Why does a penis make you math better?

I once told a boy in my A level group who had similar ideas that it was what's between your ears that matters, not what's between your legs.
I found there were slight differences in attitude though, if a topic at any level was quite hard it was usually the girls who would really stick to the script to learn it, some boys would look for short cuts which rarely worked although I do recall a couple of very good ones An 8 years old boy taught me a totally different approach to subtraction!
Encourage your daughter to follow her dreams, you may learn a thing or two.

JudgeJ · 26/09/2025 11:08

Dorothy Vaughan was an American mathematician and one of the first African-American women to work as a supervisor at NASA. She made significant contributions to the space programme, particularly in the early use of electronic computers.

Wonderful film about her, Hidden Figures, the African American women at first had to walk hundreds of yards to another building to use the loo!

Tandora · 26/09/2025 12:38

MellowRubyDreamer · 26/09/2025 02:18

She gets emotional easily and sometimes gets upset when she can't solve something.

Oh right I see, definitely on the wind up.

vivainsomnia · 26/09/2025 12:43

She's either very good at maths or she's not that good.

My DD excelled at Maths. It came to her naturally. Her and another boy were at the same level. Both got A* at maths and further maths.

It never occurred to me to think she might not do as well because she was female. And she didn't need to work hard at it. She put much more efforts in her biology a level.

XelaM · 26/09/2025 12:44

MellowRubyDreamer · 26/09/2025 02:59

Things like languages perhaps

Haha. My daughter hates languages and is good at all things STEM. How does that fit into your world view?! 🤯

Gurgon · 26/09/2025 12:45

All my DC have been good at maths. I'm good at maths. I taught my DC maths at home. My DS might be slightly better than my 2 DDs at maths, but I wouldn't say genetically men are better

Gurgon · 26/09/2025 12:45

I'm very good at maths. I have a master's in engineering

blueliner · 26/09/2025 12:48

Your response is one of the reasons boys are generally better at maths

Shortbread49 · 26/09/2025 13:00

No that’s a load of nonsense and perpetuating the stereotype that girls are bad at maths I have boy girl twins who are teens and I think the issue is that the girls are less confident in maths (speaking as a female with a maths degree and career in maths not a teacher though)

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