Do I eat Dylan?

[MonsterX]

Meet Dylan. He is an iced Dylan Dinosaur from Waitrose no less. Hand selected by my child(5) 3 days ago. Dylan lovingly sits on our worktop taunting me and my low carb diet. DS does not want Dylan. DS now prefers hot cross buns and keeps pushing Dylan away.

I've had a really shitty day where DP and I have fallen out and we're currently doing that awkward polite talking I hate. I've just made myself a hot chocolate to take to bed ... Would I be unreasonable to take Dylan with me and eat his head? I'd leave his body. I'm on a diet after all 🤭

Such a strange thread…

Eat, Eat, Eat, him 😅 😋

Dylan’s raison d’etre is to be eaten and enjoyed. The whole point of his existence is to first tempt you, then satisfy you with his delicious crumbly biscuit and sweet icing combo. It’s what he was born for.

If you decide not to eat Dylan you will take away his whole purpose in life. He is watching and hoping that you’ll find him irresistible, and if you do in fact resist him, I expect Dylan’s icing smile will gradually drop to a sad, disappointed face.

You don’t want that, do you. Would you deprive Dylan of everything he’s hoped for and rob him of his destiny? If so, OP, you need to ask yourself some very tough questions.

Eat him and say he was going mouldy so needed to be thrown away!

I see you have eaten Dylan so too late now. I don’t at all blame you (been there, done that)….

but based on every young child I know, your DC will suddenly remember Dylan at too late o’clock one random night, ask what happened to him, start wailing uncontrollably, while denying that they like hot cross buns better. You will end up making a journey (possibly in the pouring rain in your pyjamas) to get another Dylan. And then your DC will take one bite… and say “I don’t like it”. You have made your (tasty) choice, now you have to live with the consequences 🤣

Dylan looks delicious and needs to die!

I hope you have eaten him, he’ll be stale now. I can almost guarantee that your child will be interested in Dylan once he is gone 😂😂😂

I wondered about that as well. Surely you eat current buns for eleven months of year, and eat cross buns in the month leading up to Easter? Admittedly, they are one of my favourite cakes, but since the lab ate one, and cost four hundred pounds at the vet, have been banned from the house.

Are you new to mumsnet? Obviously not one of us old dinosaurs that have been here for years.

You did the right thing b. Dylan would have only gone stale in his packaging and ended up being thrown away. He was made to be eaten. He will go to dinosaur heaven happy that he has fulfilled his purpose.

Glad you ate Dylan. He needed to be eaten to fulfil his destiny, like the episode of Friends with Phoebe and the Christmas trees. You helped him do that.

Unrelated update: the work weigh in has occured. I've successfully dropped 2lbs 🥳 however as I've somehow shrunk an inch my BMI and body fat percentage has increased. Proof the machine makes you sad.

I'll rescue Dylan's remains later and dispose quietly to the big bin.

For the HXBuns. DS is autistic and goes through phases of eating things. The buns are available all year in Sainsbury's and Waitrose. Dylan was well and truly discarded. He has no impulse control like me.