Do I eat Dylan?

[MonsterX]

Meet Dylan. He is an iced Dylan Dinosaur from Waitrose no less. Hand selected by my child(5) 3 days ago. Dylan lovingly sits on our worktop taunting me and my low carb diet. DS does not want Dylan. DS now prefers hot cross buns and keeps pushing Dylan away.

I've had a really shitty day where DP and I have fallen out and we're currently doing that awkward polite talking I hate. I've just made myself a hot chocolate to take to bed ... Would I be unreasonable to take Dylan with me and eat his head? I'd leave his body. I'm on a diet after all 🤭

Eat him all and don’t feel bad. You can get back on it tomorrow.

You do know dinosaurs died out centuries ago, so shouldn’t exist in today’s society, so you’ll be doing the world a favour by devouring him.

Dinosaur meat is a really good source of protein.

@Silverbirchleaf I like this logic. I wouldn't want my child disappointed that dinosaurs don't actually exist and this delicious biscuit will be confusing him.

As long as you give out a T Rex style roar before tucking in then all is OK!

Dylan isn't going to cause you to gain several pounds.

But...they weigh you at work?!

It's a well known fact that iced biscuits meant for children are calorie free ...

Thinking logically about it - dinosaurs being extinct would make the calories also extinct. It's a guild free treat.

@MousseMousse no it's not a weigh in to get over the threshold or anything. It's a health check point. It does weight and height, blood pressure etc. It's so you can feel bad about yourself at work as well as at home.

I’m generally low carb and no sugar but every now and then I will fancy something sweet - when I do I will buy what I really want at that time.
I think Dylan looks like he’d be an awfully disappointing ‘treat’ but that water sort of icing is my worst kind and I’m not mad on biscuits so probably not what I’d go for. if you want something a bit treaty make it fucking excellent and enjoy every bite!

do it now, leave no trace

@TheChosenTwo see this is sensible advice. But it's late and I don't want to go out and misery always enjoys company... The company of Dylan.

I don't think Dylan is going to be all that tasty either, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Be the asteroid to that biscuit.

See ya Dylan!

I don't want to ruin your healthy eating, but imagine your son seeing a headless Dylan, it would be so upsetting for him. You've got to protect your son and eat him all!

I ate an entire packet of party rings yesterday at a low point. I don’t even like them. Dylan wouldn’t make it up the stairs, I’d have scoffed all of him whilst making the hot chocolate.

You would be unreasonable to only eat part of Dylan.

I'm with everyone else!

So I've eaten Dylan's beak (do dinosaurs have beaks/snouts maybe?!). The biscuit is unsurprisingly delicious with a delightful ginger spice. It is more a soft bake than that crunchy ginger bread man of Greggs. The icing is again is more soft and doesn't shatter, but I'm not a fan...it is too sweet. If I skinned Dylan of his icing he would be insanely tasty for a children's biscuit.

Forget Dylan, eat Hot X Buns toasted with plenty of butter. Tell child Dylan ate all the H x Buns so if he eats Dylan he's eating HXBuns

Eat him!! Eat. All. Of. Him!

Everyone knows calories don’t count if you have had a shit day……

Dylan is sad as he knows he is the last dinosaur 🦖 left in the world your kitchen so put him out of his misery…EAT HIM!

Dylan would be sorry if you left his body behind, because then he'd be nobody. Be kind to Dylan. Eat him all!

If you eat him standing up gravity will make the calories fall to your feet.

I’m against eating dinosaurs.

Their existence is fragile, look what happened last time