Do I eat Dylan?

[MonsterX]

Meet Dylan. He is an iced Dylan Dinosaur from Waitrose no less. Hand selected by my child(5) 3 days ago. Dylan lovingly sits on our worktop taunting me and my low carb diet. DS does not want Dylan. DS now prefers hot cross buns and keeps pushing Dylan away.

I've had a really shitty day where DP and I have fallen out and we're currently doing that awkward polite talking I hate. I've just made myself a hot chocolate to take to bed ... Would I be unreasonable to take Dylan with me and eat his head? I'd leave his body. I'm on a diet after all 🤭

So you end up being Bigfoot 🤣🤣

YABHHHU

You Are Being Highly, Highly, Highly Unreasonable.

Just eat him, all of him!

Then strip him and finish him off! It would be a kindness, really. I mean, who wants to be abandoned, half-eaten?

Eat the rest of him, before I come round and hoover up the remains. HTH

Look at the size and shape of Dylan’s head - that’s never right! He’s completely top heavy and probably falls on his face when he tries to walk. He’s basically a mutant and you’ve put him out of his misery. It was a mercy, so well done!

Scoff him down, after all, tomorrow is another day and you can start the diet again

No to eating Dylan, he looks not so tasty. A big yes to eating a hot cross bun!

To help, I'll eat the rest of Dylan and send you my 2, yes 2, Snack a Jack's..... please.

You'll all be pleased to know I've successfully freed Dylan of his sugary armour and have eaten him. I just need to hide the remains. I didn't factor that the bin is downstairs so another polite encounter awaits me.

@catzrulz snack a jacks suck. Get yourself down to Waitrose

Nah, just hide the litter! Maybe sprinkle crumbs on ‘D’H underwear?!

Bite his head off don’t make him suffer by eating him from the feet up, no need to be cruel after all!

😂

Well definitely eat all of Dylan then

East Dylan, he's only little. Relish the sugar rush. Sleep well.

Chow down!

Eat every last crumb of Dylan and lick your lips with satisfaction afterwards….now slinking off for yet another mini chocolate bar ……

My 17 year old is called Dylan and is being very annoying this evening, I wish someone would eat him!

I need a Dylan in my life. I might have to go to Waitrose now.

Dylan exists to make you happy. Eat and enjoy!

Flush the evidence like they do in the movies, thus no frosty politeness required when disposing of contraband frosting.

Eat him in full view of your husband.

@Brianthepug please do and report back. Everyone needs a little Dylan in their lives, except @frecklejuice who is actively trying to rid her life of not so little living Dylan

Well that’s the end of Dylan. Sweet sugary dreams.

Too late I think, but performatively biting Dylan's head off would have been plausibly deniable.