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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's a bit harsh to say people who've never worked shouldn't get benefits?

645 replies

DonaldBiden · 25/09/2025 20:03

Was reading another thread where many were saying if someone has never worked they shouldn't get any benefits but couldn't comment because it had reached 1000 comments.

I know this might be an unpopular opinion but I don't agree because that would include young mums who can't work because they have a baby to look after. Most of them will get a job when their child is a little older. Why are they any different from older mums who've fallen on hard times and need help?

And I know people will say it's because they've never worked and haven't proven themselves unlazy etc and could be on the dole forever but why should they have their lives ruined just because of something people think MIGHT happen.

OP posts:
Twodogsisbetterthanone · 25/09/2025 21:42

user1476613140 · 25/09/2025 21:23

I'm a carer to DC with disabilities and also OU student part time. I don't work as my life is busy as it is! Been a SAHM for 17 years now.

I’m also a carer to a child with disabilities, went back to fulltime work after having my first at age 18(I’m now 47), AND have studied with the OU to further my career.

None of those reasons justify setting such a terrible example to your children.

Emori · 25/09/2025 21:42

Should people not be rewarded for working hard, to the best of their ability?

Well ostensibly that's what wages are for. But they haven't gone up in close to 20 years anyway.

Papyrophile · 25/09/2025 21:43

TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater · 25/09/2025 21:29

Food vouchers wont pay for my TV license or internet. It wont pay for a new microwave when one breaks down or a new plate when I drop yet another one. Food vouchers wont pay for some new shoes for me.
People on benefits are not so thick that we dont know how to spend them.

Why do you think anyone should help you out? Charity shops have plates by the ton... you may even find a matched set.

I have no dog in this fight. I am seriously impressed by @R0ckandHardPlaceand the account of climbing to success, but clearly not everyone is as competent.

Genuinely, I don't know who deserves state funded support any more. I am torn, because I had nothing handed to me, and now at 70, I can help my DC out. But there have been no big inheritances, because we only have what we have earned ourselves. It seems a (not nice) brag.

DrPrunesqualer · 25/09/2025 21:43

Millionsofmonkeys · 25/09/2025 21:39

Because we are meant to be a compassionate species who cares for those who need help. I believe that societies who do not wish to care for their poor, sick or disabled but wish to get rid of such people as "unproductive" are fascists.

Should I take her to a mountainside and leave her there to starve? Or have her put down in a gas chamber? Genuinely curious.

Disabled people who are incapable of work should be exempt. As they always have been
However I would be in favour of in-depth assessment by professionals to ensure all disabled people are assessed as fit to or not fit to work.

It’s unfortunate that everyone should need an assessment but the benefits and PIP bills are unsustainable. An assessment is the least that should be expected.

It might also go some way to offering additional relevant support to some as a way to get into work

Blanketenvy · 25/09/2025 21:43

Sure.
I wonder what will happen to my sister then?
Late 30s, moderate/sever learning disabilities (can't cross a road, read or write, tell the time, use a cooker,: needs someone with her all the time) Autistic, uncontrolled epilepsy.
She's never worked.
Maybe a work house for her?

NotMyNigelFarage · 25/09/2025 21:44

LadyKenya · 25/09/2025 21:34

No it won't work, and has been discussed to death, all the reasons that it will not be viable.

Well, there's an argument that you don't just give up because it hasn't worked yet. Otherwise, it's time to give up feminism after how many decades.

Shadowfacs · 25/09/2025 21:45

R0ckandHardPlace · 25/09/2025 21:24

WTF

It's a fair question.

grrrlatrix · 25/09/2025 21:45

The moral ins and outs are basically irrelevant. We are a civilised country and we don’t let people starve. We know what happens in places where there isn’t a safety net, so although some might despise those who claim benefits we don’t deny them help because we recognise that ultimately it benefits the whole of society.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 25/09/2025 21:45

I liken it to a kitty, you wouldn't expect to take out if you hadn't put in.
People need to take responsibility for life choices, why should others work so you don't have to?

DrPrunesqualer · 25/09/2025 21:47

Blanketenvy · 25/09/2025 21:43

Sure.
I wonder what will happen to my sister then?
Late 30s, moderate/sever learning disabilities (can't cross a road, read or write, tell the time, use a cooker,: needs someone with her all the time) Autistic, uncontrolled epilepsy.
She's never worked.
Maybe a work house for her?

Why do people always come on these threads talking of the severely disabled when you all must have read the thread title and know it’s all irrelevant

It’s like people demonstrating in wheelchairs outside Parliament when PIP changes were being voted on. Irrelevant !! Again

Whataboutery won’t work in shaming a people

Brainstorm23 · 25/09/2025 21:47

I'm not going to discuss your example but honestly a lot of people are sick to death of going to work and paying vast amounts of tax, national insurance, council tax / rates and feeling like they get absolutely nothing back for it.

The middle class feel like they are taking the hit for the rest of the population. If you're poor you probably don't pay much tax and receive benefits. If you're rich you either structure your affairs to legitimately avoid paying tax or you can afford the tax. If you're middle class you pay a lot of tax and get not much back.

The UK tax burden is approaching the record level set in 1948 yet public services are absolutely shot in general and the state and the social contract is falling apart.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1440151/uk-tax-burden/

UK tax burden 2025| Statista

In the United Kingdom, tax revenue as a share of GDP, sometimes called the national tax burden was 35.3 percent in 2024/25, up from just 28.4 percent in 1993/94. 

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1440151/uk-tax-burden/

JorisBohnsonn · 25/09/2025 21:47

Millionsofmonkeys · 25/09/2025 21:35

Does it matter? Are you going to use any answer I give to decide if they are deserving or non deserving?

I was honestly just curious. I myself cannot imagine what it must be like to have such debilitating conditions and wanted to educate myself.

NotMyNigelFarage · 25/09/2025 21:48

If there's no good reason why a person can't work they should be out there in a high vis picking up litter to earn their benefits.

Gingernessy · 25/09/2025 21:48

Burntt · 25/09/2025 21:20

My son has high SEN needs and the LA won’t give him an education. I fight for his future every day. I worry he will reach adulthood without any qualifications or skills and not be able to get a job. Should he not be supported because he was failed as a child? He’s not got severe and multiple learning difficulties so can’t attend a SEN School but he soils himself and has no danger awareness and eats non food items. He should grow out of these things I’m told but age 8 he’s not close and his mental health deteriorates all the time he’s left to rot without access to education or society. I hate the judgement of people on benefits. Yes I could work and I do a bit around my caring responsibilities but the fact is I don’t even have school hours free from my high need child and no childcare will take him I have tried. All the hate I get for living off the state from people who have no problem getting their child a school place.

I think we need a universal income or something. Everyone gets it and it’s enough to live off without great luxuries. But those who work have more disposable income because of that.

I have a friend who is vocal about benefits and how people should get them. This friend had a child straight out of school and got a council house, her partner works and supports them without benefits. She doesn’t work. Isn’t married. If he leaves her she will need benifits and she won’t have paid in anything.

it’s dumb luck half the time. I don’t want to live in a country that lets the unfortunate starve and live on the streets

If you tot up all the benefits paid out at the minute in uk and devide it by the number of people who live here it gives a universal income of £70 per week per person.
It's not affordable at a level you'd be able to live on - and how are you paying for it when many would stop working all together - rather like when tax credits came in

DonaldBiden · 25/09/2025 21:49

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/09/2025 21:41

So many ‘shoulds’ and not enough ‘hows’.

16 year old shouldn’t have a baby. Great. Is your solution forced abortions or starvation?
People shouldn’t have children they can’t afford. See above.
People with disabilities shouldn’t have children. See above.
Parents should support their 16 yos. Fab. Care leavers? Parents also in poverty?

The system isn’t designed to push people into the shoulds without giving any alternative. Because unless you are a psychopath or an actual Nazi, you don’t want children and people with disabilities to be forcibly sterilised, to starve or to be forced to abort.

If you want more people in work, make it easy, attractive, timely and work on how to best achieve that.

Exactly I had a baby at 16 and my parents wanted me out the house when they found out I was pregnant, nothing could of convinced me to have an abortion or give him up for adoption and thank god people with this mindset aren't in control to force anyone to.
Anyway most parents of babies on benefits get a job as soon as their child gets a little older. The idea that young parents have a baby and then have ten more babies so they never have to work is just a myth

OP posts:
whatcanthematterbe81 · 25/09/2025 21:49

My sister got pregnant accidentally and that one I didn’t begrudge her being on benefits. 4 kids later and never worked a day in her life and I judge ALOT! That’s not an accident, it’s a choice

padso · 25/09/2025 21:50

The UK tax burden is approaching the record level set in 1948 yet public services are absolutely shot in general and the state and the social contract is falling apart.

The ageing population and the currrent structures we have eg the NHS means taxes are going to keep going up.

Alphabetmuddle · 25/09/2025 21:50

DrPrunesqualer · 25/09/2025 21:47

Why do people always come on these threads talking of the severely disabled when you all must have read the thread title and know it’s all irrelevant

It’s like people demonstrating in wheelchairs outside Parliament when PIP changes were being voted on. Irrelevant !! Again

Whataboutery won’t work in shaming a people

Quite. It is a horrible thing to drag the severely disabled into a non related conversation just so they can declare all benefit claimants are deserving.

TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater · 25/09/2025 21:51

Papyrophile · 25/09/2025 21:08

On balance, I probably would suggest it's not the smartest choice. Disabilities do tend to accumulate.

I know a lady who is on benefits due to disabilities and has a child. Her disabilities are from injuries endured by her very violent ex husband. I am pretty sure she will not be passing that onto her child.

JorisBohnsonn · 25/09/2025 21:51

DonaldBiden · 25/09/2025 21:49

Exactly I had a baby at 16 and my parents wanted me out the house when they found out I was pregnant, nothing could of convinced me to have an abortion or give him up for adoption and thank god people with this mindset aren't in control to force anyone to.
Anyway most parents of babies on benefits get a job as soon as their child gets a little older. The idea that young parents have a baby and then have ten more babies so they never have to work is just a myth

I'm actually glad you kept the child.

Millionsofmonkeys · 25/09/2025 21:51

DrPrunesqualer · 25/09/2025 21:47

Why do people always come on these threads talking of the severely disabled when you all must have read the thread title and know it’s all irrelevant

It’s like people demonstrating in wheelchairs outside Parliament when PIP changes were being voted on. Irrelevant !! Again

Whataboutery won’t work in shaming a people

That's not what the thread title or OP post says. It says that some people say those who have never worked should not be able to claim benefits. Nothing about "except disabled people".

whatcanthematterbe81 · 25/09/2025 21:51

DonaldBiden · 25/09/2025 21:49

Exactly I had a baby at 16 and my parents wanted me out the house when they found out I was pregnant, nothing could of convinced me to have an abortion or give him up for adoption and thank god people with this mindset aren't in control to force anyone to.
Anyway most parents of babies on benefits get a job as soon as their child gets a little older. The idea that young parents have a baby and then have ten more babies so they never have to work is just a myth

Sorry, hadn’t read this before i posted. I know my sister isn’t the norm by the way

Plastictreees · 25/09/2025 21:52

NotMyNigelFarage · 25/09/2025 21:48

If there's no good reason why a person can't work they should be out there in a high vis picking up litter to earn their benefits.

How have you reached a place in your life where you desire to shame people?

padso · 25/09/2025 21:53

@DonaldBiden so where did you go at 16?

AnneLovesGilbert · 25/09/2025 21:54

grrrlatrix · 25/09/2025 21:45

The moral ins and outs are basically irrelevant. We are a civilised country and we don’t let people starve. We know what happens in places where there isn’t a safety net, so although some might despise those who claim benefits we don’t deny them help because we recognise that ultimately it benefits the whole of society.

Even the Lib Dems want changes to PIP. The cuddly Lib Dems. Ed Davey thinks there’s too much fraud and it needs to be looked at differently. The government folded like a deck chair over the previous attempt at cuts when their back benches kicked off but they’re coming along again since the change of the DWP Secretary.

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