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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's a bit harsh to say people who've never worked shouldn't get benefits?

645 replies

DonaldBiden · 25/09/2025 20:03

Was reading another thread where many were saying if someone has never worked they shouldn't get any benefits but couldn't comment because it had reached 1000 comments.

I know this might be an unpopular opinion but I don't agree because that would include young mums who can't work because they have a baby to look after. Most of them will get a job when their child is a little older. Why are they any different from older mums who've fallen on hard times and need help?

And I know people will say it's because they've never worked and haven't proven themselves unlazy etc and could be on the dole forever but why should they have their lives ruined just because of something people think MIGHT happen.

OP posts:
DonaldBiden · 26/09/2025 11:16

JorisBohnsonn · 26/09/2025 11:15

DS knew a girl who worked at her chippie since she was 14

When was this?

OP posts:
JorisBohnsonn · 26/09/2025 11:16

How do you "punish" the parent for being irresponsible and not punish the innocent child?

Take the child away into care and only allow moderate contact? Idk.

Differentforgirls · 26/09/2025 11:16

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 10:37

If you don't have the support to raise it don't have a baby at 16. It really is that simple.

it?

DontReinMeIn · 26/09/2025 11:16

DonaldBiden · 26/09/2025 11:10

You live in the UK? You need to be 16 for almost every job here.

I’m 26. I’ve worked in some capacity since 12.

Swiftie1878 · 26/09/2025 11:17

x2boys · 26/09/2025 10:59

Yeah but it's not going ti hapoen is it
I'm not for one minute suggesting it's a good idea to have a baby at 16 but nobody can or or should be forced to have an abortion or give up a baby.

No, they absolutely shouldn’t, but not should they benefit from state support. That’s for the family to take care of - a 16 year old is a child. Parents step up or the child goes into care.

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:17

Differentforgirls · 26/09/2025 11:16

it?

????

5128gap · 26/09/2025 11:18

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 10:37

If you don't have the support to raise it don't have a baby at 16. It really is that simple.

If you don't have the means and desire to provide for a child, don't impregnate a 16 year old. Or indeed any other woman. Even more simple.

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:19

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:05

Of course it is their decision, but it is also their responsibility not the states to feed their baby. You can't be a good parent if you can't feed your baby. It is parenting 101.

Here in the UK we have safety nets in the form of benefits and social work, to ensure that babies will always be fed. Or do you think that shouldn’t happen either?

DonaldBiden · 26/09/2025 11:21

DontReinMeIn · 26/09/2025 11:16

I’m 26. I’ve worked in some capacity since 12.

Im a couple years younger than you I tried getting a job when I was 14 everywhere said you have to be 16. Exception being a paper girl but my father wouldn't let me do it because it involved being up at 5am when it was still dark

OP posts:
Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:21

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:19

Here in the UK we have safety nets in the form of benefits and social work, to ensure that babies will always be fed. Or do you think that shouldn’t happen either?

Of course I think that should happen. When parents fail the state sets in, when they can't feed them, the state gives them benefits, when they phyically abuse them the state steps in. I would never stop this - it isn't the parents failing are the babies fault. But I certainly think not being able to feed your baby is a failing as a parent.

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:23

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:21

Of course I think that should happen. When parents fail the state sets in, when they can't feed them, the state gives them benefits, when they phyically abuse them the state steps in. I would never stop this - it isn't the parents failing are the babies fault. But I certainly think not being able to feed your baby is a failing as a parent.

Why? Do you also see poverty as a personal failing?

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:23

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:23

Why? Do you also see poverty as a personal failing?

No but choosing to have a baby you can't afford is.

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:24

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:23

No but choosing to have a baby you can't afford is.

So therefore poor people should never have children?

JorisBohnsonn · 26/09/2025 11:25

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:24

So therefore poor people should never have children?

If you're already in poverty and you're already struggling, why add to it?

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:26

JorisBohnsonn · 26/09/2025 11:25

If you're already in poverty and you're already struggling, why add to it?

Nice deflection.

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:27

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:26

Nice deflection.

But that's answer isn't it? If you don't have resources to look after yourself, bringing a child into that environment is a bad idea. Children raised in poverty often have bad outcomes.

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:28

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:27

But that's answer isn't it? If you don't have resources to look after yourself, bringing a child into that environment is a bad idea. Children raised in poverty often have bad outcomes.

Having a child is a massive responsibility, not a right because their cute for a bit.

DonaldBiden · 26/09/2025 11:29

JorisBohnsonn · 26/09/2025 11:16

How do you "punish" the parent for being irresponsible and not punish the innocent child?

Take the child away into care and only allow moderate contact? Idk.

Why ? That would cost even more in taxes. And is not good for the child
Is this just spite now?

OP posts:
bestcatlife · 26/09/2025 11:30

We should be looking towards UBI rather than cancelling benefits.. there are so many of these threads, there really is an agenda running 🤔

Alphabetmuddle · 26/09/2025 11:31

Coconutter24 · 26/09/2025 11:08

young mums who can't work because they have a baby to look after

What were they doing before they had a baby if they weren’t working?

Probably on benefits. Then realised they could claim more cash.

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:31

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:27

But that's answer isn't it? If you don't have resources to look after yourself, bringing a child into that environment is a bad idea. Children raised in poverty often have bad outcomes.

So your solution to this is to force women to put their babies into care, if they cannot afford them, rather than allow them access to benefits?

Children raised in the care system often have poor outcomes.

JorisBohnsonn · 26/09/2025 11:32

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:27

But that's answer isn't it? If you don't have resources to look after yourself, bringing a child into that environment is a bad idea. Children raised in poverty often have bad outcomes.

But I admit that the child should be supported once born. We as a society should do our best to support the child.

hindsightisuseful · 26/09/2025 11:37

Coconutter24 · 26/09/2025 11:08

young mums who can't work because they have a baby to look after

What were they doing before they had a baby if they weren’t working?

Exactly and how do working mums survive

Bumblebee72 · 26/09/2025 11:37

Alphabetmuddle · 26/09/2025 11:31

Probably on benefits. Then realised they could claim more cash.

Or at school and decided they fancied a "career" on the benefits gravy train.

DonaldBiden · 26/09/2025 11:38

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:31

So your solution to this is to force women to put their babies into care, if they cannot afford them, rather than allow them access to benefits?

Children raised in the care system often have poor outcomes.

Traumatic for the child to be separated from their mother and defeats the arguement of not wanting their taxes wasted seeing as it would cost a lot more.

They're showing their true colours now just spite

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