That I could do this commute twice a week?

[gooseberryfooled]

I've been WFH since 2020 but my employer has just mandated two days in the office for everyone in my department. There will be some flexibility but mostly I will be commuting twice a week, most weeks.

I am quite happy with this, I've been considering going in more for a while now and my current commute is a fairly easy 45 mins door to door (train and a bit of walking).

However, we (me, DH and DC8) have been planning to move house mid-next year. It's long planned and much wanted - we've found the exact village we want to move to and are very set on living by water and out in the country. But the move would out my commute at an hour and 20 minute train journey, plus around 15-20 minutes getting to and from train stations at either end (that might be reduced depending on how close to the village station we end up living). It would also be more expensive but manageable.

Am I being horribly unrealistic to think that's doable? There would be some weeks I could negotiate going only once to another office where more of my team sit so it might be 3 weeks out of 4. DH is a SAHP so no issues with childcare.

Is it definitely going to only be 2 days a week in the future or do you think they will increase it in a year or two?

This would be my main concern. Twice a week, absolutely doable. But is there a chance they might make it more?

If you don't have to worry about childcare it is definitely doable.

As @Cheerfulcharlie says, how definite is it that WFH won't decrease?

I think with one child and a SAHP, this should be absolutely fine but I would want to be walking distance from the station for sure, not driving there.

Similar commute to me although I do it only once a week. I try to travel off peak which makes a difference money wise too.

It depends what is waiting for you at the office, nice team, seeing people you actually work with etc, laughing...then it might be worth it.

my train journey is 1hr 10mins and I use the time productively. I also don't eat dinner on those days (higher lunch) or I eat a snack box I made at home on the train for dinner. Means when I roll in the door at 7.30pm I can get on with things.

Pre-Covid, that was a very common commute for a lot of people that I work with. I’ve certainly done it before for particular jobs. It wouldn’t worry me particularly.

The thing is....2 days a week, ok, I guess. But many companies are choosing to gradually insist on 5 days a week.

Can you get the 2 days written into your contract?

How much is the travelling £ wise? Is it worth it?

If it turned out to be a nightmare would you consider staying one night overnight? Then you'd only have to go and come back once.

You should probably be prepared for it creeping up to 3 days, then 4 but that will not happen overnight it will take a few years!

How reliable is the train?
Have you considered a cheap hotel for the one night instead?

I used to do a 2 hour door to door commute 5 days a week. It’s really tiring but doable.

I’d say what you are looking at is very workable, but if possible try to stagger the days, so don’t do Monday and Tuesday. Do Monday and maybe Wednesday. I found by Friday I was shattered, so get the journeys out of the way earlier in the week.

Having your DP as a sahp is a massive plus here, as on those days where you do the long commute he can presumably sort dinner (I say presumably as I don’t know your setup with who cooks and how often etc).

Do you know what, I’d just do it. Who knows what’s ahead of you in life? You might just get another job or do something else. You might decide the location is more important than the job if push comes to shove. May as well try though

I suppose the other thing to consider is whether your DH is going to be a SAHP for the long term

If I wasn't driving it, it is only 2 days and no worries about childcare , then I would manage it I think to live in my dream location. Also would consider staying overnight.

It’s doable but I think you’d start getting pretty sick of it after a few weeks.

Thanks very much for all the thoughtful replies!

To answer some questions:

• I don't think they will ever insist on 5 days in the office but of course things do change. Even if we don't move, that sort of change would probably prompt me to consider my options anyway. They wouldn't write it into my contract.
• I wouldn't want to stay over night if I can help it, I'd rather be on a train and then with my family. I could definitely go in early and leave early, which would help with that. It is an option though, thanks to those who mentioned it.
• It would be considerably more expensive - current commute is circa. £5.50 a day, new commute would be around £30. Still doable but obviously a much large chunk of the household spend.

Your dh is a stay at home parent to one 8 year old presumably school attending child…. As long as he’s picking up 90% of house stuff and you’re coming home to dinner prepared, laundry done etc…. Sure, totally feasible

I used to do a similar commute. It was doable at the time (because I had to), then when I moved jobs I wondered how I had managed it for so long.

I would look at - how you are going to get to the station.

If it’s walking, I would think that was more manageable.
If it’s a bus, or a second train, you might well need to add extra contingency time for if it is late, cancelled etc, which might make the journey just too long overall.
If it’s driving, can you rely on finding a parking space?
— I would look at train times, do they match up well with your work hours? And if not, is your employer flexible with you arriving late/leaving early? I had to leave at a fixed time, and so only caught the most convenient connection home once in a blue moon. An extra ten minutes at work added 40 minutes to my overall travel time.

How frequent are the trains? If one is cancelled or you miss one but there’s another in twenty minutes or half an hour, fine (though that will get you down after a while if it keeps happening) If it’s an hour, or two hours, it becomes a much bigger obstacle.

Is this a fairly high earning position op that you enjoy?

This is my feeling too - my parents always wanted to relocate once my dad retired but he died at 59, and that was it. I don't want to put off my life because of a bit of inconvenience.

Similar commute to many including my DH who does it once a week or so. Main
issue is the expense. All the train tickets add up.

Yep, he is very much in charge of the domestic during the week (I do my fair share at other times). Another poster asked if he will always be a SAHP - no, but he will work for himself and while DD is a child, will work around my job.

I do this three times a week. 20 mins to station then 1hr 15 to London then 10 mins other side.

I’m not going to lie it is tiring, and my husband picks up the slack in the evening on London days. But it’s so worth it to come back to my beautiful house in the country. Moved in 2019 and have not regretted it.

Factor in train ticket costs. For 2 days you can probably buy advanced tickets at a discount but then you’re on a set train. Also look at car parking fees. At my station it’s £9.20 a day!!

What works for is me getting in early. I’m on the 7am train and at my desk at 8:30. I leave around 4:20 and home by 6:30. Making up the hours when I work from home. It’s really important to ensure you get an evening!

Do it OP! You won’t regret it :)

Depends what you mean by high earning! I earn enough for the live we lead.

And this job…. Well paid and you enjoy?

£60 a week to commute? Fuck that.