That I could do this commute twice a week?

[gooseberryfooled]

I've been WFH since 2020 but my employer has just mandated two days in the office for everyone in my department. There will be some flexibility but mostly I will be commuting twice a week, most weeks.

I am quite happy with this, I've been considering going in more for a while now and my current commute is a fairly easy 45 mins door to door (train and a bit of walking).

However, we (me, DH and DC8) have been planning to move house mid-next year. It's long planned and much wanted - we've found the exact village we want to move to and are very set on living by water and out in the country. But the move would out my commute at an hour and 20 minute train journey, plus around 15-20 minutes getting to and from train stations at either end (that might be reduced depending on how close to the village station we end up living). It would also be more expensive but manageable.

Am I being horribly unrealistic to think that's doable? There would be some weeks I could negotiate going only once to another office where more of my team sit so it might be 3 weeks out of 4. DH is a SAHP so no issues with childcare.

Yes, it's doable twice a week.

Lots of people do 90 minutes each way every day of the week. Where I used to live that was the norm for those who worked in London.

I thought I could do 5 hours each way just once a week. I was wrong, it was horrendous.

I wouldn't. You are swapping 3 hours travelling to/from work a week, for around 8 hours. Your office based days would be long and tiring, and on those days you would hardly see your child. What would you do if your employer wants you in the office more in future?
What is the point of living somewhere lovely if you're too tired to enjoy it?

Also, have you thought about how rural living may impact your child growing up? Sure it is great to have nice surroundings, but if they're miles from friends, and you have to taxi them everywhere, then it could be far from the idyllic life you picture.

Is there really nowhere you would like to live nearer to work?
Are there any similar jobs near to where you would like to live?

Sure, but the other 5 days a week I would be living somewhere I love. If I get early trains, I will be home roughly an hour after my "normal" time.

And yes, of course we have considered the impact on our child of rural living, not the point of this thread.

My DH used to do this every day - and would meet people on the train who had a ferry trip from the IOW before they got on the train. They had a Friday gin and tonic club. He's very glad not to do it anymore but he made it work.

A ferry trip added on would probably put me off! Although it sounds almost romantic, taking a boat to work. I'm glad your DH doesn't have to do the long commute anymore, five days is a different thing altogether.

So decision made then

Although for what it’s worth, as the parent of teens..,, rural living would be a pain in the arse for them and me!

And if I had one child, I especially wouldn’t want to be cutting them off like this

I do this commute twice a week but a drive instead of a train and slightly longer ~1hr 45 door to door. I stay overnight otherwise I think it would be exhausting. I’m a single mum and the one night I stay over is the one night my kids stay with their dad. Tbh I find it okay - it’s a bit tiring especially if there is traffic but taking the train and with not only a partner but a non working partner I think that would be absolutely fine.

It isn't worth anything to me - you and your family are different people to me and mine. I didn't ask for your opinion on what's best for my child, and I've no idea why you think it's your job to give it.

Over 3 hours a day commuting, twice a week, would not work for me.

Well that’s me told! 😆