To be exhausted by my four year old

[whereRemyshoes]

This is today.

Up at 6. Watched Gruffalo’s Child downstairs with me. Talked all the way through it but did watch it. Had breakfast.

Played upstairs. Non stop talking and moving.

Got dressed, teeth brushed. Off to school. At school 9-3:15,

Home by 340 (bit later as we were briefly talking to some other parents.) Played outside until 5.

I made dinner. Watched one episode of Bluey. Then had dinner. Non stop movement. Just walks around. Charging into the sofa and jumping. Even when he’s not doing anything he’s moving, walking round in circles or charging into things.

It is really starting to bother me. I know I should be grateful he doesn’t just veg out in front of a screen but it’s constant and EXHAUSTING.

It’s normal tbh- although I would say the wake time is quite early. What times bed?

Normal

I'm not really sure what you were expecting when you had a child tbh 😂

I mean you don't need to get up with him at 6, at 4yo he can turn the TV on himself. The rest of it ok, he is busy moving but sounds like he is playing and you don't need to be involved so I'm not really seeing the issue? Leave him in the lounge jumping or whatever and go to a different room for some peace and quiet, you don't need to watch him

Yanbu, that sounds exhausting. It's obviously in the spectrum of normal but not all 4yos are like that - my two are 5 and nearly 2 and they both can sit and watch TV or listen to us read a book, quietly for decent chunks of time.

(They're infuriating in other ways, obviously)

It's easier said than done but you need to find something he'll play with independently of you. My dd would play with mobilo, or her toy till and vegetables, at that age, without me having to join in. Now she'll do an activity magazine.

In my limited experience of one son vs one daughter, some kids are just like this! Hate to say boys, but my experience says it's a boy thing. Constantly moving, jumping, wiggling, making noise. We have crash mats, bilibos, balance boards, all the movement stuff, lack of sleep. He is 6. His 3 yo sister is much calmer and a much better sleeper 😅

Do you work?

Not sure which bit you are finding particularly exhausting? The early start? Some kids do that. One of mine used to get up at silly o clock. He got better and as he got older I would leave him to get on with it. If you don't want them up and out of bed at that time can you get them a yoto player and they can listen to audio stories for a bit til you say it's time to get ready?

Is it the constant chat? Again that's just some kids. My non early riser is the chatterbox. Not much you can do about it other than try and send off to the other parent (assuming you aren't a single parent).

I expect some of it is just pent up from being at school and needing to move around and have freedom. Can you find any clubs for them to do after school to burn off some energy?

Oh also try TV that is active, like cosmic kids yoga or Jack Hartmann kids music channel. They're exercise videos for kids basically. Then he can jump around but in a controlled way in one spot

Well … I don’t know what I was expecting. But he is my first and so I don’t really have much to gauge insofar as normal is concerned. My other children are a lot calmer and more chilled, so comparatively he is very manic and full on. It’s good to hear it’s normal.

I am trying hard to discourage charging around in the house and direct it to the garden.

My others are girls. Maybe it does make a difference.

The early wake up doesn’t bother me. He isn’t up that early every day. It was more to illustrate that for every waking hour he’s MOVING!

I'd not get too invested in sending the movement outside. It'll cause you a lot of problems in January, prepare now. Get toys that help keep the movement contained eg mini trampoline, piker triangle and as others say TV can help with the movement.

Sports are your friend. My boy has & always has had boundless energy. Rarely tired.

sports.

I understand why you’re saying that but he really can’t be contained inside at the moment. Just charges around like an absolute loon; he’s knocked one of his sisters down the stairs and caused a lot of damage (unintentionally but still.)

I understand he has a lot of energy so that’s fine but I do need to impose some sort of order so it’s - if you want to run and shout, go into the garden.

Problem is it feels like ALL he wants to do, so he’s outside more than he’s in at the moment.

Hamster wheel?

My 4 year old DS is like this except he could sleep for England so I have to drag him out of bed for school. I think it’s the age and it will pass in time.

Your local youth football team probably starts training from age 4/5, get him to divert all that energy into something productive (team sports are amazing for personal development) YANBU though 4 is an intense age.

He does do football and rugby. It’s only once a week, though. I do find he just never seems to be tired from so much activity. When we were on holiday all day was biking and swimming and walking and he just never flags. I remember trying to get him to have ‘quiet time’ after he dropped his nap but it always just made him go mental!

I mean … he’s great but you do think ‘is this normal’? And I find by the end of the day I’m irritable from the endless moving.

If you have a garden then get a trampoline. It's the best invention since the washing machine. They literally bounce their energy away. If not a gymnastics bar and crash mats as pp suggest, or soft play after school a few times a week, or anything else you can think of to channel the energy. In a few years he'll manage his body better and hopefully get involved in sports.

This is really common in 4 yr olds, especially boys. I had one like this and now in late teens he works out every single day. Otherwise he'd crack up sitting still in school. I'd he exhausted just looking at him.

Also give him chores, it doesn't matter if he does it badly. Vacuuming the house, dusting, cleaning the car, 'painting' the shed with water and tea, washing the shower door, rearranging the book shelves, anything you can think of. Get him to lift things you might think are heavy, let him try, he'll know his own limits. Like taking groceries out of the car, lifting a laundry bag or stacking up the kitchen chairs, even if they don't need to be moved.

Sensory things like home made play dough (surprisingly easy to make) Or putty or water play help too.

Edited to add, he might benefit from some OT. Also look up sensory seeking behaviour if he likes to bash into thing and never seems to injure himself. There are loads of strategies to contain him a bit.

Is there anything at all he'll stop and focus on? For example mobilo/lego, painting, a puzzle, etc.

I disagree with the idea that the answer is burning his energy out with more activity. That's just not how being hyperactive works - more running around just feeds the frenzy, ime.

You've got to find something, anything, he'll sit and do for a bit.

Another thing I rave about on mn is child safe cooking knives. They look like real knives and can cut eg carrot but can't cut flesh. Both my dd and ds love being given carrot batons to slice into cubes for a bit, and even my ds can just about do it and he's not 2. They love that they're effectively being trusted with a weapon. Could be worth a try

As others have said, some kids are like that. I remember my son was always standing on his head, spinning around etc. Or he was transfixed on the TV in a trance. It can be exhausting. That’s why I was glad to work full time (as awful as that sounds) because by the time you’re home from nursery (later after school club) and had dinner / bath, it’s time for bed. At least the weekends are easier then as you’re not always frustrated by the week. He also did football from 7, so one evening practice and a match on the weekend. He was always out in the garden practising shots at his goal or on the trampoline. This time of year send them outside. He did cubs also one evening a week too (Beavers before that). Keep them busy so there isn’t endless time to just run around. He has just started working full time after graduating this summer, and he still keeps himself busy, straight from work to football practice twice a week and not home until 11pm!

My girls are like this. Always have been. Full on and exhausting. We have an indoor trampoline, gymnastics frame, pull up bar and exercise bike.
They never stop. 😅

Has this been answered yet? Because this is the dealbreaker to whether or not you are being unreasonable.

I don’t think it’s relevant at all tbh. I ignored it because I thought it was a side swipe, implying that I’ve nothing better to worry about.

And @MumoftwoNC - this is what I worry about a bit. I definitely made that mistake when he was younger. He seemed to calm and chill a bit last year; still lots of energy but not the same frenzied behaviour but now it’s back and amplified. And I do struggle with it; it hypes everyone up in the house and means having any sort of conversation with him is nigh on impossible.

We do have a trampoline but he’s never been all that into it really. He’ll go on it sometimes but he isn’t too fussed one way or another.

I feel like I’m being horrible about him but it is quite draining. I feel like he takes up so much space in a way and is so loud. It just seems like he’s everywhere.

Haha DH and I were just despairing our DD won't just sit and watch something after school. Playground at pick up was full of other parents saying they wouldn't be able to go to the playground after school as theirs are sooo tried and going to bed at 6 atm.
Ours needs running like a dog and never stops.
No advice to share but solidarity.