School residential vegetarian/vegan only

[vgp1234]

My child had really been looking forward to their year 6 residential, but a new head has joined and had changed the format somewhat.

They have now booked a Sustainability Centre in Hampshire, which only caters for vegetarians and vegans. My child is not a vegetarian or vegan, and across the cohort of year 5 and 6 only one child is vegetarian.

While I appreciate that there is a view that they can go 5 days without meat and they should just suck it up, I find it incredibly frustrating that you would not ask a vegetarian or vegan child to suck it up and eat meat for 5 days. So I don't understand why we do not treat both dietary preferences with equal measure.

The new head is very keen on government guidance, and has changed our lunch menu to comply with the current guidance for school lunches which is that 3 days should include meat or fish (previously we had a meat and vegetarian/vegan option every day). However it seems this guidance only applies on the school site, so you can disregard it at a residential. While they are within their rights to do this, it does seem like quite a contradiction.

I have tried speaking to the Sustainability centre directly but they were very inflexible and just stated it is a against their ethos (may I add that they also offer a day trip at a cost to visit a working farm, who rear animals for meat, so their ethos does not run all that deep). This really goes against my ethos as not only do I think you should treat all groups equally, I can't help but feel that this is forcing their ideas on children verses allowing them free choice and the ability to hear both viewpoints (meat is unsustainable/sustainable) and make their own decision.

In all honesty I'm quite perplexed as to why the school choose the venue when it would clearly be controversial, as this is quite a personal choice for parents and the cohort has so few in it that have this dietary preference.

I'm sure some people will not agree with me, and I am open to your opinions as I'm a big believer in hearing both sides of the argument and our ability to think critically for ourselves and not be told what to think (I want this for my child too).

I do plan to send the school an email initially and request that they provide a rounded menu including meat. But I'd really appreciate any advice on how to word this appropriately as I'm quite upset by it, and I'd prefer to send a well worded email than an emotional one.

I do have some sympathy with you OP, as my DS would be gutted to eat veggie meals for 5 days. I think you just have to suck it up though.

I don’t know if your child is a fussy eater, but would it really be that difficult for him/her to just not eat meat for a few days? My daughter isn’t vegetarian, but many of her meals are, and she is usually quite happy eating vegetarian or vegan dinners. It isn’t the same as a vegetarian being forced to eat meat, as a meat eater can opt to not eat meat or fish at every meal, whereas a vegetarian wouldn’t be vegetarian if they ate meat.

I'd think about what outcome you want. Is it for the school to change the venue (as it doesn't sound like the venue will change their menu) or to register your discontent. Once you've decided that, I would generally do a first draft then review for language and take out anything emotive or irrelevant to achieving your outcome. Stick to facts / concerns (I.e. I'm worried my child will not have enough to eat as this is not their usual diet).

Personally I don't really see an issue with this as a vegetarian diet for 5 days can be both nutritious and filling (I'd be more concerned if vegan as that's much harder to achieve, especially for kids, without using UPFs) but if you are really bothered by it it's worth saying to the school.

Don't send your DC is probably the correct response.

If not, I think the meat / food quality at these centres is very poor anyway. By cutting out the pumped up with water overpriced meat might be healthier for your DC.

Thete’s no comparison to a vegetarian child being forced to eat meat, op. You know this perfectly well.

I appreciate your response. My child can eat vegetables for a week obviously, but I have a problem with the principle of why meat eaters are treated differently than vegetarians/vegans. I'm not trying to be confrontational, I would genuinely like to hear your view. But please could you articulate why you think it is different and OK to treat them differently. Obviously the school will likely say the same as you, so I'm genuinely trying to understand it from the other side of the fence?

I think actually this sounds brilliant - the meat they serve at these sorts of places is often the cheapest possible and there are various health and environmental issues with that. Showing children (baring any specific access needs like neurodiversity/afrid which it doesn't sound like your child has?) it will be great for them to experience something different.

The venue are completely entitled to offer only veggie or vegan food if they want to.

from the name I’d presume that they promote green and sustainable ideas and therefore this is a fairly natural following from their ethos.

similarly some Quaker or Buddhist venues do not provide meat.

the year 6 residential is presumably optional.

sounds like the head has decided to make it a bit more of a learning experience rather than the usual PGL style thing.

possibly this venue also offers a better price - plenty of threads complaining about the cost of residentials.

If you want your child to think critically, say nothing, send them, and let them form their own view.

If they won't eat then they can come home.

My DC would have absolutely hated this but I don't think it's equivalent to asking a vegetarian child to eat meat.

Will they be fed while they are there?

Yes.

Honestly however you word it you will sound ridiculous if you complain.

Why not see what your child says when they come back? It might spark some interesting debate. I say this as a) i know the venue, it's excellent and food is delicious b) school has booked it so, realistically, its not going to change. Agree or disagree, meat isn't essential and a week won't damage your child's health. I say this as a meat eater by the way.

You're not being treated differently. The venue are veggie/vegan. The school have voluntarily booked it. Your beef is with the school, who had freedom of choice to book it.

They may not have considered your preference, but your preference is not a protected characteristics under the Equality Act, whereas veganism is a protected belief under a court ruling.

An all vegetarian menu also simplifies accommodating other dietary choices such as halal or kosher. So i can see why a school residential centre would take that approach.

As a meat eater it isn't something I would get upset about.

While I can see that some kids wouldnt be happy with this, it isnt true that it "only caters for vegetarians and vegans", it caters for all! Rather it is a good opportunitiy for the children to try a meat free existence and hopefully understand the reasons behind this place's ethos. My DS is a committed carnivore but even he could probably suck it up for a few days. My other (vegetarian) DS meanwhile would be delighted to not be singled out as the awkward one for a few days.

If it was vegan only I'd think twice about sending my child but the vast majority of children would be ok with vegetarian.

YABU. If you don't like it your child doesnt have to go.

OP, you commented "However it seems this guidance only applies on the school site, so you can disregard it at a residential. While they are within their rights to do this, it does seem like quite a contradiction."

Government "guidance" isn't the "law" - it's only guidance and schools can follow it, not follow it and/or change policy at any time.

And arguing that it's akin to making a vegetarian child eat meat is nonsense and you know it.

Who knows? Your child might eat delicious vegetarian food and develop a more sophisticated palate. Residential experiences aren't meant to replicate their home lives - they're about giving children new experiences.

Cutting back on the amount of meat we eat is one of the biggest things we could all do to benefit the environment, so it's not surprising a sustainability centre doesn't offer meat, it would be odd if it did.

The "ethics" they refer to aren't to do with animal welfare but protecting the environment.

Either send DD or don't.

find it incredibly frustrating that you would not ask a vegetarian or vegan child to suck it up and eat meat for 5 days

YABVU for this. Vegetarianism excludes meat and fish. Forcing a vegetarian to eat dead fish and animals would be completely unacceptable. Your child presumably already eats some or all carbs, dairy, eggs, vegetables, fruit. They’re being asked to forgo something they like but don’t need. They’re not being forced to eat something they wouldn’t usually eat.

Are you prepared to withdraw your child from the trip if they can’t eat meat?

Maybe your omnivore child might learn that vegetarian food can be just as nice as meat dishes.

We eat meat most days but I really don't understand the reaction some people get to the thought of eating vegetarian food while happily eating a cheese pizza of a jacket potato with beans or tomato soup or cauliflower cheese... all vegetarian!

I have a problem with the principle of why meat eaters are treated differently than vegetarians/vegans

They are not being treated differently. They are all being treated exactly the same - they are being provided with a meal that they can all eat.

I do plan to send the school an email initially and request that they provide a rounded menu including meat. You do know that a vegetarian menu IS a rounded menu. Just because it doesn't contain meat, it doesn't mean that it's incomplete.

I think it's actually good for a child to see that there are alternatives to the way they live/eat/think. Why should the centre go against their principles just to accommodate yours? You have a choice whether to send your child. If you choose to send them, then you choose to accept the centres way of doing things. And I say this as a full on meat eater.

If it hadn't been pointed about, they probably wouldn't even have noticed tbh.

Breakfasts of cereal, porridge, toast, crumpets, bagels, fruit, yoghurt, perhaps some scrambled egg and/or baked beans.

Lunches of soup, or cheese/egg/houmous sandwiches, or veggie sausage rolls. Crisps and a chocolate bar or flapjack type thing.

Pizza, jacket potatoes with cheese and beans, veggie sausages with mash and peas, pasta with tomato sauce and cheese, egg chips and beans, veggie stew and dumplings, macaroni cheese, veggie curry and rice, veggie burgers in buns with chips and salad.

Salad bar alongside every meal.

Sounds like normal kid friendly healthy basic food to me, and that's just some ideas off the top of my head!

Can you articulate why it is such a problem? Does it offend your moral code? Are you concerned about nutrition? Or is it just a case of complaining about something you wouldn't even have noticed had it not been specifically mentioned.

For the record, vegetarians don't only eat vegetables!

As for the principle, of course it's different. Vegetarians and vegans do not eat meat at all, whereas I presume that your ds doesn't only eat meat/fish and nothing else? There are lots of "normal" foods that just happen to be vegetarian.

I really think this is a fuss about nothing tbh, and it sounds like you're just looking for something to get offended about.

You know vegetarian food is more than just vegetables?

Nobody is being treated differently, they are all having the exact same food. I bet if they hadn't mentioned it beforehand then you wouldn't even have realised. Pasta, pizza, soup, curry, chilli, pies etc.

It would have been a big problem for my two who have food sensory issues. For me too, whilst I am happy to eat a meal without meat every now and then a lot of vegetarian food is fake meat style or processed none of which I eat and I also don't eat cheese, pasta or grains.

I don;t think they have thought this out with young children.

You are being ridiculous