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Original poster

WTF IS THIS ENTITLED MESSAGE FROM FRIEND!!!

183 replies

Iamthequeenoftheworld · 23/09/2025 16:59

I get a text message from old friend from work who lives abroad I talk briefly to like once a year or once every 2 years, we were never close at all, more like Facebook friends

“hey, I gave your number to these people from Ukraine. Can you please explain uk pensions to them. What they are and how they work, how they can get them etc. They will call you tomorrow”

i dont helping people, at first thought it was just a question or two and when I heard Ukraine I thought some vulnerable refugees.

I didn’t think and just agreed.

my husband and son and daughter are now telling me off. Going wtf is this entitled

what do you think, is my husband right?

I don’t mind helping, but it’s the way she told me is the problem

OP posts:
PuggyPuggyPuggy · 23/09/2025 20:32

Well for once, this is genuinely a post that could identify OP in real life. Bet there's not many people being nominated by distant acquaintances to advise wealthy Ukrainians from Spain about UK pensions 😂

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 23/09/2025 20:39

I don't think it's that weird to post from the point of view of the person for whom you're seeking advice. You get better advice that way rather than a ton of people asking why you're sticking your nose on your mum's business or telling you that you doubt over involved or other such unhelpful nonsense.

I think it's more weird that people go to the effort of searching someone's previous posts and picking holes.

Deerfolk · 23/09/2025 20:47

All these troll hunters ruining an interesting thread. I want to know more

Hmmmnmmn · 23/09/2025 20:59

If you work in pensions and your friend is sending people your way she might expect you can broker a deal to make money from them and she's crafty enough to already have made money from it. Apart from her being presumptuous What's the big deal and why are you saying it's a scam- you work in pensions so it's reasonable to send people your way.

Namechangerage · 23/09/2025 21:03

Iamthequeenoftheworld · 23/09/2025 19:58

The cleaner one is my mom. She had that problem at work and I posted as if I were her asking for advice.

Show quote history
Sure Jan GIF

Sure, Jan!

HevenlyMeS · 23/09/2025 21:30

I'm so sorry you've been put in this predicament
Your friend /acquaintance should never give out your number without your permission 1st
Hope she now comprehends this completely
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best

Crazyworldmum · 23/09/2025 21:44

It’s very entitled and very rude . I have this all the time , I’m not originally from the uk and a solicitor so often have people from my home country messaging and calling telling me …….. gave them my contact because they think I can help them, people I never even meet assume because they have the same nationality I should help them . Often is stuff I don’t even deal with . I started ignoring every message and call . I once even got invited to dinner at someone’s house just to get there and she had 2 friends who needed my help .
Its the epitome of entitlement imo .

blacksax · 23/09/2025 21:46

AngelicKaty · 23/09/2025 18:17

Well they'd have to pay at least 10 years worth of NI contributions to be eligible for any UK state pension at all and it wouldn't even be close to a full state pension.

Show quote history

Quite. But they don't know that... yet.

Londonrach1 · 23/09/2025 21:47

She shouldn't be giving your number to anyone.

Cornishclio · 23/09/2025 22:03

Pensions are massively complicated and involve investment advice which is regulated so I would not answer anything and just suggest they see an IFA. I would also be massively annoyed that a FB friend gave your number to strangers.

How strange that they are interested in UK pensions given they live abroad. Sounds very fishy.

Foundationns · 23/09/2025 22:05

If you are pretty sure they are in OK circumstances and not suffering or in danger, I’d answer their call and say ypur friend was mistaken in giving them your number because you can’t help. Goodbye.

JeannieJo · 23/09/2025 22:22

Are you certain it’s from your friend and her number hasn’t been hacked? I would be very careful and would say no - I wouldn’t be answering the phone to anyone I didn’t know.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 23/09/2025 22:56

Studyunder · 23/09/2025 20:06

Don’t answer. It sounds like you’d be opening a can of worms and while you may well have knowledge you could share. At the end of the day, you’re not best placed to actually help, other than signposting them to the correct website.

You should message your friend and say you’ve looked into it some more but don’t feel you’re able to advice accurately for their situation and she/they need to go along more official channels for up to date information. Or something along those lines 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is one of those classic situations when you try to be helpful and do the right thing to be nice. Yet it ends up causing you lots of stress. If it’s your actual jobs and paid professional- they can get their info from you through proper process. otherwise, it’s someone else’s actual job to do.

Also bear in mind, if you help this time, your number could end up getting passed onto others in future! If your friend persists then I’d be blocking them (after letting them know it’s not ok to give your phone number to strangers).

Good luck whatever you do! Keep up posted!

Quicker to read OP’s updates than type all that out.

spoonbillstretford · 23/09/2025 23:09

"Please don't give my number out to random people in future." Then block her.

[Random people call] "Sorry, who is this? I'm afraid you have the wrong number." Then block them.

Moveoverdarlin · 23/09/2025 23:16

Iamthequeenoftheworld · 23/09/2025 17:33

I ithought refugees because

  1. last time I spoke to her she said something about hanging out/befriending Ukrainian refugees
  2. she said they are Ukrainian/from Ukraine, didn’t just say people, mentioned their country
  3. why would wealthy/well off/ people need some random woman’s financial/pension advice
Edited
Show quote history

I agree. It’s bonkers. Just don’t answer the call. Tell your mate to tell them to google whatever they need to know.

99bottlesofkombucha · 23/09/2025 23:30

Arlanymor · 23/09/2025 20:06

Ok. That’s quite odd.

Show quote history

Is it? It doesn’t seem very odd to me.

99bottlesofkombucha · 23/09/2025 23:32

I hope you’ve messaged your friend that you’re horrified she’s scamming innocent people, and not to pull you into her criminal activities?? I’d just message them saying I’m very sorry, but she seems to have scammed you. I didn’t know that she did this at all, and here are all the contact details I have for her to help you track her down or report her. I’d send them email, any addresses, full name, siblings etcs details if I knew them, Facebook…

BanditoShipman · 23/09/2025 23:36

I write ‘Mom’, I’m Worcestershire, it’s a thing up here in the West Midlands.

Rest of thread sounds dodgy though 😂

Francestein · 23/09/2025 23:37

I would advise the Ukrainians that you have no idea what or why the ex-friend charged them for your services, but it is nothing to do with you. I would also message friend to demand that they refund to these people as you are not providing any kind of service for her to profit from.

MsDitsy · 23/09/2025 23:37

I do hope you contacted your 'friend ' and told her in no uncertain terms not to involve you in any more of her scams, then blocked her number.

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 23/09/2025 23:40

Are you sure it's not a scam text. Trying to rope you in to handing over info/bank details. Sounds a bit suss to me

Backat · 23/09/2025 23:43

JustStopItNorasaurus · 23/09/2025 17:08

As a solicitor (no longer practicing) i am very used to people deciding I can give information for them or their friends and family. I am also used to them getting shitty and saying 'where is the harm if you just answer the question?'. Because either I don't know (my speciality was in family law not fucking conveyancing / criminal law/ etc etc etc) or because there are strict regulations against providing ad hoc advice.

I always say 'Can I direct you to this [website]. It's not my area'.

Then I would seriously bollock your friend for giving out your contact details. If they do not have enough respect for you, then stuff em.

Show quote history

I studied law at uni so I have quite a few lawyer friends and I’m super protective of their details!

I’ve had two different friends (at different times) tell me they’re going to ask my commercial lawyer friend (who they only know through me) for legal advice.

I told both of them not to as one was wanting family law advice, the other criminal law involving CSA. I just didn’t think it was appropriate to go asking for free advice like that even if it was her speciality.

One of them ignored me and contacted her by facebook anyway which pissed me off, but anyway the point is I’d never just have passed on her number like that.

mzpq · 23/09/2025 23:48

99bottlesofkombucha · 23/09/2025 23:30

Is it? It doesn’t seem very odd to me.

Show quote history

Pretending to be your own mother on an internet forum doesn't seem odd to you?

HerewardtheSleepy · 23/09/2025 23:53

popcornandpotatoes · 23/09/2025 17:44

I don't understand. Are you some kind of pensions professional?

As a retired pensions professional the one thing I would never have done would be to have given pensions advice in circumstances where I wasn't covered by my employer's indemnity insurance like - for instance - being rung up by random Spanish Ukrainians (or whatever they are).

Decline any knowledge OP and block your "friend".

Edited for typo.

MsAmerica · 24/09/2025 00:45

Iamthequeenoftheworld · 23/09/2025 16:59

I get a text message from old friend from work who lives abroad I talk briefly to like once a year or once every 2 years, we were never close at all, more like Facebook friends

“hey, I gave your number to these people from Ukraine. Can you please explain uk pensions to them. What they are and how they work, how they can get them etc. They will call you tomorrow”

i dont helping people, at first thought it was just a question or two and when I heard Ukraine I thought some vulnerable refugees.

I didn’t think and just agreed.

my husband and son and daughter are now telling me off. Going wtf is this entitled

what do you think, is my husband right?

I don’t mind helping, but it’s the way she told me is the problem

I think your husband is wrong with the word "entitled," but there's nothing wrong with your replying, "I'll try to find the time for them, but in the future please don't give out my number to strangers - and please don't make appointments for me, considering that we're not much in touch so you don't know my schedule."