26 year old never done laundry

[ordinaryma]

Is this normal ?

I have a little boy, aged 3. I don’t want to judge but I would hope he would be able to do laundry at this age..

it’s just a friend of a friend who was talking about her 26 year old son who was not able to do laundry. The friend had gone on holiday and was worried about her son. The son is NT.

it got me thinking of my H and his mum used to talk about him like this when he was that age. My parents were nothing like this with us. At 26 I was living alone and making my own way in the world.

this man lives at home and is unable to do laundry and his mum is missing him after 4 days away on holiday and is worried about him.

Anyway, it got me thinking- is that normal ? Anyone who has 26 year olds, is this the same for you ? it just wasn’t in my case. Am I going to be like this with my son / daughter when they’re older? I always thought, absolutely not- but who knows. I can’t really judge it.

I know I would want them to be more independent. I think they should start learning how to do laundry in their teens. I don’t know. Am I going to be one of those moms that holds on like this or will I be as I imagine.

I guess the way the friend of a friend was talking, it sounded like she was talking about a teenager and I found it very cringey.

My friend is like this with her son. He's 31 and autistic so still lives at home (but he drives and volunteers, he's not incapable) and she moans about HAVING to cook certain meals for him and do his washing and clear up after him. But whenever I say 'tell him to cook his own dinner' (he cooks for himself when she and I go away) or to do his own washing, she wades in with a load of bluster about how he can't do it 'properly' and he hangs the washing out all screwed up and he will only cook pizza... etc etc

In other words, she WANTS to baby him. She wants to do all these things for him because it makes her feel needed. So now I just nod and smile when she lists out to me all the things she HAS to do, and I keep my own counsel.

One thing DS didn’t know about when he first went to uni was about sell by/best before dates. He learnt the hard way! Me and DS2 shop in-person together so he def knows!

Not teaching him a basic life skill is a failing as a parent.

In our house MIL does the laundry as that works for us all (everyone has their own jobs around the house). However, the three that have already left for uni, 15yo DS and 13yo DD all absolute can do laundry. And in fact the 15yo took it on when MIL had surgery.

Being able to do the tasks, knowing they need done and there isn't a magic washing fairy, and knowing the basics of how to deal with it going wrong (not draining, colours running etc) is a basic thing kids should be taught.

I have a friend who’s 40 years old NT and her mum does everything for her, washing, cooking, cleans her room. I find it so embarassing and cringey and have no idea how she’ll cope when her mum dies or even if she got ill. I lived with my parents up until age 30 but have managed to do all that stuff since the age of about 14, have children and get married. Some people just need to get a grip and live in the real world 🙄

of course this is not normal it’s ridiculous
My 2 year old “helps” with the laundry. He gets the clothes out the basket and into the drum, He will put the fabric softer up to the drawer so I can pump it in, he shuts the drawer and drum door will turn the dial (obviously I have to stop it on the right setting) and presses the start button
he then helps unload it and put it on the clothes horse (ok it’s messy and needs tidying up) and he hands me the pegs
honestly he wipes his own highchair tray and holds the vacuum handle as I push it around
I make everything a game/fun and praise him like crazy for helping me
I figure start it young and make it fun whilst I can then the expectation is always there
i don’t want to have my son posted about on here in 25 years time for being useless for his DP. Honestly I worry how people survive sometimes 🤣