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Original poster

Ex’s belongings at my parents for over 2 years

57 replies

allaroundtheworldd · 22/09/2025 10:52

So my ex cheated on me and was emotionally abusive to me for the year we were together. He also gaslight me and managed to cheat on me the whole time we were together (including messaging legally underage -17 year old girls when he was around mid 20s)

I went no contact with him in late 2023 but between our break up and the no contact, i asked him so many times to come get his multiple bags of stuff from my parents house. This never happened

It’s now 2 years later, the stuff is still at my parents, they are trying to move and want it out. I am engaged and live with my partner and I now have these bags taking up space and giving off bad energy in our spare room.

What on earth do I do with them? I really don’t want to contact him as he’s been so dreadful to me in the past and I am scared of him. I don’t feel comfortable messaging his mum either and i don’t remember her address to drop it off. These are also large bags so I wouldn’t want to have to go there and possibly be seen. Me and my partner can’t really afford to DPD them (esp given the amount of debt i’ve been paying off that this ex left me in)!!

What would you do?

I have people telling me to sell and donate the money/use it to pay back the remainder of debt he left me in, other people saying do not do that, people saying donate it etc and i just want it gone but ive been putting it off for years now

OP posts:
PussInBin20 · 22/09/2025 10:54

Just bin it or sell it. Surely if he wanted it, he would have come and got it by now.

Countingmyselfluckytoday · 22/09/2025 10:55

Donate it.

BigGra · 22/09/2025 10:55

I’d throw it all in a skip and not give it anymore thought whatsoever.

LuckyNumberFive · 22/09/2025 10:56

Legal or not, I'd bin it all and make sure I had a new phone number.

Presumably you live somewhere else now? And your parents soon will so even if he did (slim chance) contact you for it, he won't be able to.

GreenCat12 · 22/09/2025 10:58

Sell it or bin it. If it was important to him, he'd have picked it up ages ago.

Original poster
allaroundtheworldd · 22/09/2025 10:58

LuckyNumberFive · 22/09/2025 10:56

Legal or not, I'd bin it all and make sure I had a new phone number.

Presumably you live somewhere else now? And your parents soon will so even if he did (slim chance) contact you for it, he won't be able to.

Yes I still live in the area and occasionally see him about (usually from the car as he’s got a distinctive one so luckily not face to face. There is always a chance of bumping into him but he has not tried to contact me in 2 years (minus occasionally trying to follow my friends on social media)

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 22/09/2025 10:59

Sell it all. He's had 2 years.

Toesy · 22/09/2025 11:00

Bin it. Involve the police if he comes near you.

purpleygrey · 22/09/2025 11:03

Just take it to the dump and don’t give it a second thought

Hardhaton1 · 22/09/2025 11:04

My ex had the audacity to ask if I still had some of his coats nearly 4 years after leaving
It’s amazing how their brains work and the sense of entitlement that we should still look after their stuff long after they stop looking after us or their children

Nocookiesforme · 22/09/2025 11:05

If you have a loft, then put the stuff up there in a dark corner (big black bin bags help) and then 'forget' about it. When you move then you forgot it was there and it was in a dark spot and you didn't notice it.
If he ever queries it then you can look blank/feign ignorance and then remember that it may have all been in the loft but you can't remember. Job done 🤐😌

Original poster
allaroundtheworldd · 22/09/2025 11:06

Hardhaton1 · 22/09/2025 11:04

My ex had the audacity to ask if I still had some of his coats nearly 4 years after leaving
It’s amazing how their brains work and the sense of entitlement that we should still look after their stuff long after they stop looking after us or their children

Sounds like my ex and I was worried about this but saw some people online saying if you sold it, you could just make note of the amount you made and then if he did try and ask for it back, just send him that value (not sure if this seems safer than just dumping it?!)

OP posts:
Original poster
allaroundtheworldd · 22/09/2025 11:06

Nocookiesforme · 22/09/2025 11:05

If you have a loft, then put the stuff up there in a dark corner (big black bin bags help) and then 'forget' about it. When you move then you forgot it was there and it was in a dark spot and you didn't notice it.
If he ever queries it then you can look blank/feign ignorance and then remember that it may have all been in the loft but you can't remember. Job done 🤐😌

I wish we did but rented house with no access to it 🥲

OP posts:
Nocookiesforme · 22/09/2025 11:11

@allaroundtheworldd
Shed or garage works the same way or a big understairs cupboard 😆
Honestly, I would just take it to a charity shop and if he ever queries it then just look blank and say I have no idea. If he asks the say I moved and did charity bag a lot of stuff but otherwise I have no idea - oh well never mind.

AprilShowers25 · 22/09/2025 11:16

Nocookiesforme · 22/09/2025 11:11

@allaroundtheworldd
Shed or garage works the same way or a big understairs cupboard 😆
Honestly, I would just take it to a charity shop and if he ever queries it then just look blank and say I have no idea. If he asks the say I moved and did charity bag a lot of stuff but otherwise I have no idea - oh well never mind.

Similar to this (he is unlikely to even contact you about it) but I would say I assumed you had collected it from my parents years ago as I asked you to, they have now moved house and had a big clear out so there is no way they would still have it.

Endofyear · 22/09/2025 11:28

Just bin the lot. If he ever comes back to you asking about his stuff, just say I don't know what you're talking about and I don't have any of your stuff.

Shedmistress · 22/09/2025 11:46

Charity shop it nearest his house. He can buy it back if he needs it and the charity gets some money. Win win.

NotABiscuitInSight · 22/09/2025 11:51

Sell it. He would have to go to the effort of court to do anything about it and he seems like he can't be arsed.

Or get a new number and text him to say you have his stuff and will be dropping it at the tesco recycling bins at X date and time and of he wants it he knows where to find it.

nomas · 22/09/2025 11:56

i asked him so many times to come get his multiple bags of stuff from my parents house. This never happened

Have you kept the texts/messages? If yes, throw away or sell the items.

There will be no repercussions for you, he's had 2 years to collect his things.

cbbo · 22/09/2025 11:57

Bin it

Lucy5678 · 22/09/2025 11:58

Assuming the stuff is just clothes, shoes or general tat I’d just bin it. In the very unlikely event he asks you for it I’d just feign ignorance about what happened to it or “must’ve been thrown away in the move”. He’s had years to collect it.

I wouldn’t throw away someone’s sentimental jewellery or passport or certificates but I assume he’s not stupid enough to leave that kind of stuff at an ex girlfriend’s parent’s house?

amicisimma · 22/09/2025 11:58

Bin it.

If he asks gaslight him. Say 'You picked it up ages ago/random month, don't you remember?'

Swiftie1878 · 22/09/2025 11:58

Bin, sell or donate.
Get rid, however you see fit.

SunshineAndFizz · 22/09/2025 12:03

Sell, sell and sell. Especially if he left you with debts!!

Honestly I’d have done this a long time ago, and not felt a shred of guilt.

And if he eventually asks there’s no way I’d give him any money. Ask him for 2 years worth of storage costs!

ACynicalDad · 22/09/2025 12:03

This all comes under the Torts (Interference with Goods) Act 1977, which protects you as long as you’ve taken reasonable care and given fair notice.
It could lead to:
Damages (compensation) for the value of the goods if you wrongfully dispose of them.
An order for return of the items, if you still have them.
Possibly legal costs if they take you to court and win.

That said the temptation to bin them after two years is high, and if he's know where they were for this time I think you'd have a decent chance in the unlikely event he took you to court.