Ex’s belongings at my parents for over 2 years

[allaroundtheworldd]

So my ex cheated on me and was emotionally abusive to me for the year we were together. He also gaslight me and managed to cheat on me the whole time we were together (including messaging legally underage -17 year old girls when he was around mid 20s)

I went no contact with him in late 2023 but between our break up and the no contact, i asked him so many times to come get his multiple bags of stuff from my parents house. This never happened

It’s now 2 years later, the stuff is still at my parents, they are trying to move and want it out. I am engaged and live with my partner and I now have these bags taking up space and giving off bad energy in our spare room.

What on earth do I do with them? I really don’t want to contact him as he’s been so dreadful to me in the past and I am scared of him. I don’t feel comfortable messaging his mum either and i don’t remember her address to drop it off. These are also large bags so I wouldn’t want to have to go there and possibly be seen. Me and my partner can’t really afford to DPD them (esp given the amount of debt i’ve been paying off that this ex left me in)!!

What would you do?

I have people telling me to sell and donate the money/use it to pay back the remainder of debt he left me in, other people saying do not do that, people saying donate it etc and i just want it gone but ive been putting it off for years now

write and give him 10 days to fetch it or you will be disposing of it, no extensions (bar him being in hospital maybe!)

I would message him saying they will be in parents lawn on x date and if if doesn’t pick them up by x date they will be donated. You’re giving too much headspace to this.

Sounds like he’s had plenty of time so don’t think it’d be unreasonable to just get rid but the other alternative is to message him saying you’ll be throwing it away on X date if not collected. My friend did this after her ex spent several months making no effort to recover his belongings despite living down the road and he miraculously found the time to come get it once he knew it would end up in the bin.

For goodness sake, don't listen to the posters telling you to bin it or sell it at this point. You HAVE to give him a deadline to cover yourself legally. Otherwise, unlikely though it might be, you could be setting yourself up for a world of pain.

Ten days is ample, as he's local. If you think he's blocked you on WhatsApp, send the message by SMS and/or email as well (or get your parents to send it). Then, after the deadline, charity shop the lot.

He's forgotten about it, and so should you! My council allows you to put bags of clothes on top of the recycling. Or imagine the relief you'll feel putting it in one of those big clothes bins! I would sell the best bits if he had expensive tastes.

You could text him with a 7 day deadline. It's not your problem if he's blocked you.

Do you know where he lives? Take it round there and leave it in his front garden. If you don’t know where he lives now, take it to his parents and leave it with them . After all, he left it with yours for years, so fair’s fair.

After 2 years I'd stuff them in the bin, and never speak of it again.
If he ever pops up again I' d just say " I thought you collected them. They re gone".