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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I feel so demoralised

90 replies

Middleageddreameresawsss · 22/09/2025 09:09

Ive just read that Nigel Frarage will send back all immigrants and abolish the settled status. We wont be able to stay in the UK unless we earn a high salary and instead be on some sort of renewable status visa.
I was born in the Netherlands. Came to the UK aged 1 year. Mum is Irish. Went to school here, then have been working in the nhs for 30 years. I have settled status but I also have long term cancer so I am a drain on the nhs.
Ill be 59 when he gets into power. I dont know how Ill manage. Im carer for my mum who has dementia and isnt going anywhere soon.

OP posts:
OfKitten · 22/09/2025 12:39

pointythings · 22/09/2025 12:25

The Dutch government doesn't accept dual nationality. Though if this is brought in, there is provision for an exception in the law. Right now, if I naturalised, I lose my Dutch citizenship. And that price is too high.

Are you the OP? In that case name change fail. Anyway, if you are the OP, you have lived in this country since you were a toddler, if you think that continuing to have a Dutch citizenship - a country that you were just born in and almost never lived, is that important to you, then sure you can risk it, but this is a choice you made and while there is much wrong with Farage, someone not wanting to become a citizen is not his fault.

phoenixrosehere · 22/09/2025 12:40

EasternStandard · 22/09/2025 10:56

I admit I don’t know the process but that is a long time, isn’t there a way to get citizenship here?

Many don’t have a nearly extra £2k (£1735 for citizenship) lying around after getting ILR. ILR and citizenship are two separate fees.

They have you take the citizenship test when applying for ILR and then either you continue as ILR or pay the extra to become a citizen.

The difference when becoming a citizen is you get access to get a British passport and allowed to vote in the general election if I remember correctly.

Wegovy2026 · 22/09/2025 12:41

Getting an Irish passport was easy for my DH and our DC. I would try this route first.

AliceMaforethought · 22/09/2025 12:42

I'm so sorry, firstly. However, YABU to say 'when' he gets into power. He won't. Right wing people are falling into the same trap that left wing people often fall into, of assuming that their social media echo chamber reflects reality.

Wegovy2026 · 22/09/2025 12:44

Trump won?

Magicpaintbrush · 22/09/2025 12:45

The majority of the medical staff administering chemo to cancer patients to people like my DH in our local hospital are (legal) immigrants and they are fantastic. The NHS would collapse without staff from overseas. Farage is a short sighted mouth-almighty of very average intelligence and it's thanks to the likes of him that we have to endure the fall out from Brexit. Most of us haven't forgotten that. He also broke covid restrictions (one rule for him and another rule for the rest of us?). Hell will freeze over before I vote for that self important turd in a suit.

Btw - my DH met him through the course of his work and can confirm that Farage is a very unimpressive, entitled, arrogant little man with massive delusions who thinks the rules don't apply to him. Just like most MPs.

OfKitten · 22/09/2025 12:46

phoenixrosehere · 22/09/2025 12:40

Many don’t have a nearly extra £2k (£1735 for citizenship) lying around after getting ILR. ILR and citizenship are two separate fees.

They have you take the citizenship test when applying for ILR and then either you continue as ILR or pay the extra to become a citizen.

The difference when becoming a citizen is you get access to get a British passport and allowed to vote in the general election if I remember correctly.

If we are talking about the OP specifically, not having £2k her entire life to pay for this just shows being a UK citizen is of such little value to her. I am not at all a suporter of Farage or any right eing shite, but a European citizen who just doesn't feel like paying £2k or losing their dual citizenship is very different from a refugee from a war torn country in need of help.

KhakiTiger · 22/09/2025 12:48

Mass low skilled immigration is hurting this country, reducing GDP per capital and incentivizing the local population to become unproductive.

On top, it’s madness for immigrants to be able to claim benefits after 5 years and get public secures for free (many of which are free from day 1).

Low skilled, low paid immigrants will never contribute enough to warrant what they get from the system. And yes, contribution is financial. The fluff around ‘oh but what about low paid workers’ doesn’t add up. You can’t pay for public services in feel good clouds and rainbows, it takes cold, hard cash, earned by people who pay tens of thousands in tax each year.

It is more than reasonable to curb this craziness wi the low skilled migration.

latetothefisting · 22/09/2025 12:49

Comedycook · 22/09/2025 09:54

He won't get into power...stop worrying about something that won't happen. How many seats does reform have anyway? Less than ten? You need hundreds to end up in power. It won't happen. The media give him air time because he's a divisive character...that's all. Just concentrate on yourself and your own life

Edited

Yeah I wouldn't be so sure about that
There was a by election by me last week - just a local council but reform not only got in but got nearly the same amount of votes as the next 2 put together.

Yes things might change and no people might not be as willing to risk a protest vote for actual mps but just because he doesn't have seats now doesn't mean anything - remember the 2015 election where the SNP went from something like 6 to 56 seats overnight - 833% increase. And lib dems went down almost the same amount.

That's not to say I would worry about it unduly op because even if he did get in (I know I've said above he might win seats but that's not the same as a sufficient majority to be PM) it would take so long and have so many legal challenges to put something like that in place he'd be sick of the actual work expected in actually holding down a job rather than just pontificating about what other people should be doing that he'll step down long before anything is actually ever done.

Also -isn't his wife German? So understand his own rules he'd have to deport her?

steppemum · 22/09/2025 12:51

pointythings · 22/09/2025 12:25

The Dutch government doesn't accept dual nationality. Though if this is brought in, there is provision for an exception in the law. Right now, if I naturalised, I lose my Dutch citizenship. And that price is too high.

it does now
dh is Dutch, and he has ILR since Brexit. Before Brexit nothign was needed, he was an EU citizen living here in and EU country.
Many of the brexit voters we knew were shocked when I said that menat my dh could no longer live here - well that wans't what we wanted (sigh)

Anyway, since then The Netherlands has allowed people to hold dual citizenship. My kids have applied for Dutch passports so they can hold dual citizenship.
the trouble is, it is really expensive to become a British citizen, like £10,000. We don't have that, so at the moment it isn't an option.

I am worried about reform getting in. I do feel that it is like the US - no-one believed Trump woudl get in the first time, let alone the second!

pointythings · 22/09/2025 12:54

OfKitten · 22/09/2025 12:39

Are you the OP? In that case name change fail. Anyway, if you are the OP, you have lived in this country since you were a toddler, if you think that continuing to have a Dutch citizenship - a country that you were just born in and almost never lived, is that important to you, then sure you can risk it, but this is a choice you made and while there is much wrong with Farage, someone not wanting to become a citizen is not his fault.

I am not OP. You are not the thread police.

I came here as an adult. I have worked almost 30 years in the NHS and continue to do so.

This policy is rooted in incompetence and xenophobia and would be an economic disaster if implemented. If it is, I'll leave and take my financial contribution with me.

Agapornis · 22/09/2025 12:55

The Netherlands doesn't allow dual citizenship UNLESS you acquire the citizenship of your spouse/civil partner. Is that an option for you OP?

In English: "You have acquired your spouse's or civil partner's citizenship"
https://www.government.nl/topics/dutch-citizenship/loss-of-dutch-citizenship/automatic-loss-of-dutch-citizenship
In Dutch: "Zo raken Nederlanders hun nationaliteit niet kwijt wanneer zij vrijwillig de nationaliteit van hun huwelijks- of geregistreerde partner aannemen" https://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/nederlandse-nationaliteit/nederlandse-nationaliteit-verliezen#:~:text=Zo%20raken

Alternatively, apply for Irish citizenship so you keep your EU membership benefits. I'm Dutch and have lived here for over 15 years, I've not applied for UK citizenship because I don't have anyone to get married to and my EU privileges are important to me.

That said, Farage is known for coming up with a load of populist nonsense that will never happen. I'm not worried about it. Can you really imagine them kicking out 1 million Europeans? Economic disaster.

Automatic loss of Dutch citizenship

If you are an adult (18 years of age and above), you will automatically lose your Dutch citizenship in one of several situations (see below). There are also several situations in which a minor (under 18 years of age) can lose their Dutch citizenship.

https://www.government.nl/topics/dutch-citizenship/loss-of-dutch-citizenship/automatic-loss-of-dutch-citizenship#:~:text=You%20have%20acquired%20

GoodTimesNoodleSalad · 22/09/2025 12:55

SirHumphreyRocks · 22/09/2025 12:33

It’s a sign of how desperate people are to get this issue under control that they’re willing to take the chance.

Its actually a sign that people have been fed a diet of "it's all their fault things are tough for you". Like all crap diets, it'll be crap in and crap out. People are being fed lies and misinformation.

I wonder why you think people are incapable of using their own eyes and ears. They’re living with the negative consequences on a daily basis. They see the problems around them. They don’t need to be fed a diet of misinformation, as you put it. They’re not mindless fools operating on bad information. Their own lived experience has led to their conclusions.

Shepherdseven56 · 22/09/2025 12:57

The current political climate is all very depressing and demoralising op so completely understand your anxiety.

I know it’s a huge effort when you are unwell but I would urge you to look in to citizenship to put your fears at rest. If you can access your NHS pay slips, and tax payments for the past thirty years, that should should be a great start! It will be worth it for peace of mind.

Nigel Farage is enough to tip anyone over the edge. I saw a sm clip by Led by Donkeys which highlighted his racist views stretching right back to secondary school, I can’t link but if you can find it, it makes all the noise around Farage fall away and reveals his real intentions. We knew anyway but this clarifies it without a shred of a doubt. Scary.

GoodTimesNoodleSalad · 22/09/2025 13:00

pointythings · 22/09/2025 12:54

I am not OP. You are not the thread police.

I came here as an adult. I have worked almost 30 years in the NHS and continue to do so.

This policy is rooted in incompetence and xenophobia and would be an economic disaster if implemented. If it is, I'll leave and take my financial contribution with me.

I’ve worked over twenty years in the NHS and if they decide they don’t want me, fine. I don’t understand the sense of entitlement. The UK’s priority is its own citizens.

steppemum · 22/09/2025 13:02

Agapornis · 22/09/2025 12:55

The Netherlands doesn't allow dual citizenship UNLESS you acquire the citizenship of your spouse/civil partner. Is that an option for you OP?

In English: "You have acquired your spouse's or civil partner's citizenship"
https://www.government.nl/topics/dutch-citizenship/loss-of-dutch-citizenship/automatic-loss-of-dutch-citizenship
In Dutch: "Zo raken Nederlanders hun nationaliteit niet kwijt wanneer zij vrijwillig de nationaliteit van hun huwelijks- of geregistreerde partner aannemen" https://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/nederlandse-nationaliteit/nederlandse-nationaliteit-verliezen#:~:text=Zo%20raken

Alternatively, apply for Irish citizenship so you keep your EU membership benefits. I'm Dutch and have lived here for over 15 years, I've not applied for UK citizenship because I don't have anyone to get married to and my EU privileges are important to me.

That said, Farage is known for coming up with a load of populist nonsense that will never happen. I'm not worried about it. Can you really imagine them kicking out 1 million Europeans? Economic disaster.

Edited

my kids hold 2 passports. Dutch and British.

Octavia64 · 22/09/2025 13:04

He’s not going to get into power

and even if he did it wouldn’t happen for so, so many reasons.

EasternStandard · 22/09/2025 13:04

steppemum · 22/09/2025 13:02

my kids hold 2 passports. Dutch and British.

It’s useful to know re two passports. Some might choose not to do this but for the op it seems wise to start a process of getting British citizenship.

Unicorn34 · 22/09/2025 13:05

This must be scaring so many people. Im hoping the UK population who can vote will use this to ensure NF NEVER becomes PM. Total tosser, outdated views and definitely has the right initials for the Nazi twats!

Agapornis · 22/09/2025 13:12

steppemum · 22/09/2025 12:51

it does now
dh is Dutch, and he has ILR since Brexit. Before Brexit nothign was needed, he was an EU citizen living here in and EU country.
Many of the brexit voters we knew were shocked when I said that menat my dh could no longer live here - well that wans't what we wanted (sigh)

Anyway, since then The Netherlands has allowed people to hold dual citizenship. My kids have applied for Dutch passports so they can hold dual citizenship.
the trouble is, it is really expensive to become a British citizen, like £10,000. We don't have that, so at the moment it isn't an option.

I am worried about reform getting in. I do feel that it is like the US - no-one believed Trump woudl get in the first time, let alone the second!

This isn't true for those of us not married to British citizens. He is married to you so is allowed to have both citizenships. I'm married/civil partnered, so I'm not allowed.
It's different again for your kids because they have a Dutch parent.

It's isn't £10k, it should cost you £1,735 (+travel).

I always tell my friends to vote for the party that allows me to stay here - because I'm not allowed to vote in national elections. I think that's the only thing I miss out on with Settled Status/ILR.

Agapornis · 22/09/2025 13:13

steppemum · 22/09/2025 13:02

my kids hold 2 passports. Dutch and British.

It's different for minors with a Dutch parent. I'm referring to adults as I was trying to help the OP.

nearlylovemyusername · 22/09/2025 13:29

AliceMaforethought · 22/09/2025 12:42

I'm so sorry, firstly. However, YABU to say 'when' he gets into power. He won't. Right wing people are falling into the same trap that left wing people often fall into, of assuming that their social media echo chamber reflects reality.

I wouldn't be so sure unfortunately.

There's been a seismic shift behind Reform in the last several months, they are being "professionalised" by Dominic Cummings.

The shift to right on MN is part of the effort behind Farage, it's a professional army of bots which brought Trump to power, propelled AfD etc etc, and it a part of well known methodology.
I'd suggest you google about Cummings and Reform and watch "The Great Hack".

I do believe that best case (best case for us) scenario Reform will get the highest number of seats and form coalition, otherwise it's going to be their outright majority.

It's terrifying.

Shepherdseven56 · 22/09/2025 13:41

Mass immigration has not been a disaster for the UK at all! Britain is an island nation. Historically the UK was built on the back of immigrants, our NHS and other essential services are kept running by immigrants currently , and with the falling birth rate we will need more immigrants to keep coming in the future!

Other countries in the EU which have taken in more immigrants than us, have functioning, reasonably priced integrated public transport systems, well resourced health care facilities, good libraries, free university education, good public housing, roads without potholes, regular rubbish collection and other public services.

Comedycook · 22/09/2025 13:46

Mass immigration has not been a disaster for the UK at all

I think it's been widely accepted that it has suppressed wages...

That's not to say it hasn't brought some benefits

latetothefisting · 22/09/2025 13:55

OfKitten · 22/09/2025 12:39

Are you the OP? In that case name change fail. Anyway, if you are the OP, you have lived in this country since you were a toddler, if you think that continuing to have a Dutch citizenship - a country that you were just born in and almost never lived, is that important to you, then sure you can risk it, but this is a choice you made and while there is much wrong with Farage, someone not wanting to become a citizen is not his fault.

You havent been able to change names within a thread for a while now so people can't have "name change fails".