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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to respond to insufferable football dad

96 replies

bonnieyellow · 18/09/2025 12:02

Ds14 has been playing grassroots football for several years on the same team as the child of annoying dad. I’ll call him AD for the purpose of this post. I know AD fairly well now and he is a pain in the ass. He’s one of those men who believe his opinion is right about everything.

I try to avoid him but he often makes a beeline for me at the football and generally mills about talking to everyone. If you say anything about the game, tactics whatever then he will contradict (obviously I’m a woman so know nothing about football). The most annoying thing is he starts ever sentence with ‘listen’ as if he’s about to impart some factual piece of wisdom that we all need to stop and listen to immediately.

Last week there was a bit of a punch up between some of our players and the opposition. It got quite nasty with lots of bad language etc. My ds wasn’t involved and I said something along the lines of ‘if ds was acting like that he’d be off the pitch and going straight home’. AD pipes up with ‘listen your lad is just as bad.’ I reply with ‘well he’s clearly not because he’s stood out of the way not getting involved.’

AD then launches into a speech about how i have to accept that my ds is a ‘lad’ the same as the rest of them and he will be just as bad at school or when he’s out with friends and I can’t know what he’s doing all of the time. Essentially trying to educate me about the behaviour and temperament of my own child who he doesn’t even know beyond seeing him play football. I walked away at this point as he was doing my head in.

This is just one incident. His entire attitude is obnoxious and know-it-all. I need a good response to close him down when he starts with his ‘listen….’ rants.

OP posts:
CruCru · 18/09/2025 12:06

It is a bit off topic but it is weird that football seems to attract appalling parents in a way that other sports don’t seem to. A friend was telling me last night about her son’s (not very high achieving) football team and the shouting that goes on from dads on the sidelines.

CruCru · 18/09/2025 12:07

In this case, I would make a point of talking with someone else. When he starts talking to you, keep looking at the other person.

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 18/09/2025 12:07

You know how dog behaviourists advise turning your back to your dog when he does something bad?

I think you'd only have to roll your eyes once and turn your back and walk away from this bore. Should get the message.

Offherrockingchair · 18/09/2025 12:08

IME it’s always the Neanderthal men dads who do this, the poorly educated thugs. Ignore. You can’t argue with stupid.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/09/2025 12:09

Can you do the same to him? When he starts just say very firmly "Listen, I really am not interested". And walk away.

jay55 · 18/09/2025 12:11

I think I’d like to say “not today” every time he said listen and just walk away. Not sure I’d be brave enough.

Netcurtainnelly · 18/09/2025 12:11

bonnieyellow · 18/09/2025 12:02

Ds14 has been playing grassroots football for several years on the same team as the child of annoying dad. I’ll call him AD for the purpose of this post. I know AD fairly well now and he is a pain in the ass. He’s one of those men who believe his opinion is right about everything.

I try to avoid him but he often makes a beeline for me at the football and generally mills about talking to everyone. If you say anything about the game, tactics whatever then he will contradict (obviously I’m a woman so know nothing about football). The most annoying thing is he starts ever sentence with ‘listen’ as if he’s about to impart some factual piece of wisdom that we all need to stop and listen to immediately.

Last week there was a bit of a punch up between some of our players and the opposition. It got quite nasty with lots of bad language etc. My ds wasn’t involved and I said something along the lines of ‘if ds was acting like that he’d be off the pitch and going straight home’. AD pipes up with ‘listen your lad is just as bad.’ I reply with ‘well he’s clearly not because he’s stood out of the way not getting involved.’

AD then launches into a speech about how i have to accept that my ds is a ‘lad’ the same as the rest of them and he will be just as bad at school or when he’s out with friends and I can’t know what he’s doing all of the time. Essentially trying to educate me about the behaviour and temperament of my own child who he doesn’t even know beyond seeing him play football. I walked away at this point as he was doing my head in.

This is just one incident. His entire attitude is obnoxious and know-it-all. I need a good response to close him down when he starts with his ‘listen….’ rants.

Why did you bother engaging with him like that about your son, if you knew the answer.

Now your asking for comebacks you cansay, which means you'll be engaging with him further.
He won't change, you will have to not engage with him.

You aren't the first to meet someone you don't like. Somehow you muddle on, or ignore them.

TokyoSushi · 18/09/2025 12:12

We have one of these on DD's team. I stand away from him or if he does come to me, I give a one word/very short answer and move away. He doesn't really bother with me now, but is exactly as you describe.

Seriocomic · 18/09/2025 12:12

Just hold up your hand firmly, and say 'Steve the Thug, I need to stop you there'. When he says 'Why?',, say 'No reason, I just really didn't want to listen to whatever you were going to say' and go and talk to someone else.

Or I dealt with a football sideline bore at DS's games by saying, with perfect truth 'Football bores me to death, so I'd suggest discussing bad refereeing and offside violations with someone else, because I don't care'.

bonnieyellow · 18/09/2025 12:14

I would like to say something like ‘no thank you I don’t want to listen’ 😂 but I don’t know if I can be that rude.

I have tried not engaging. Often I’ll be talking to someone else and he’ll be hovering in the background waiting to critique something we’ve said. And I wouldn’t usually waste time arguing but when he thinks he can educate me about my own child I do struggle.

OP posts:
bonnieyellow · 18/09/2025 12:21

Seriocomic · 18/09/2025 12:12

Just hold up your hand firmly, and say 'Steve the Thug, I need to stop you there'. When he says 'Why?',, say 'No reason, I just really didn't want to listen to whatever you were going to say' and go and talk to someone else.

Or I dealt with a football sideline bore at DS's games by saying, with perfect truth 'Football bores me to death, so I'd suggest discussing bad refereeing and offside violations with someone else, because I don't care'.

His name actually is Steve so this really made me laugh. Wish I was brave enough.

OP posts:
Endofyear · 18/09/2025 12:21

There's always an annoying dad at the football. Your best bet is to ignore/walk away if he approaches. If he starts to lecture you about your own child, I would cut him off with 'I'm not interested in your opinion'!

Columbidae · 18/09/2025 12:22

"No, thank you" is what I was going to suggest. Then turn to someone else, look down at your phone or walk away.

If he starts pushing "Why are you ignoring me?/ I was talking to you" or follows you, just repeat, "I said no, thank you".

Another option is to grey rock. A lot of "hmms" and nothing else might work.

NoSoupForU · 18/09/2025 12:22

What do you want comebacks for, when the clear way to deal with it is to completely ignore him.

That aside, what did you think was going to be the outcome of criticising other players behaviour? You shouldn't have made that remark.

fatphalange · 18/09/2025 12:22

I’d be either over the top taking the piss parroting ‘listen, listen, listen’ or looking at him like he’s got shit on his lip before turning my back each time but I don’t mind being rude to bozos.

LemondrizzleShark · 18/09/2025 12:24

CruCru · 18/09/2025 12:06

It is a bit off topic but it is weird that football seems to attract appalling parents in a way that other sports don’t seem to. A friend was telling me last night about her son’s (not very high achieving) football team and the shouting that goes on from dads on the sidelines.

This is genuinely a major reason why DD plays rugby (despite being tiny). The competitive football dads even aged 5 were so ridiculous. Rugby parents are a lot more chilled out.

Whenthetimeisright · 18/09/2025 12:25

I absolutely hate it when people start sentences with " listen". So many politicians do it. It's so aggressive. And my immediate reaction is to assume they are going to say something totally ridiculous.

I honestly think your suggested response of " no thank you, I don't want to listen" is a really good one. I don't think it's rude at all. You should say that and turn away and start talking to some one else or actually walk away.

ColdSalads · 18/09/2025 12:26

I always wanted to delve deeper into why some people start their sentences with the word "listen"

It's definitely some kind of condition.

Skybluepinky · 18/09/2025 12:27

Avoid Him, don’t engage at all.

TheFatCatSatOnTheMat · 18/09/2025 12:27

“Listen. really listen. Stop starting your sentence with listen.”

friskery · 18/09/2025 12:28

Maybe just respond with a polite little laugh as if he's made a lame joke and you don't want to hurt his feelings.

KatSlayMoon · 18/09/2025 12:28

I know a few women who have taken the tactic of treating men like this as toddlers who have done a wonderful thing. Maybe try loudly saying “Oh well done Steve, I’d never have thought of that! Aren’t you clever?” as if you’re speaking to a very small child. Maybe add in a clap or two and he’ll soon get the message.

GlassofRosePorfavor · 18/09/2025 12:31

Is your name Linda?

Danascully2 · 18/09/2025 12:33

We used to have a dad like this at school - I remember him holding forth about COVID-19 and ignoring my attempts to insert some actual facts (I have a relevant work background). Quite a larger than life character who seemed to need to be the centre of attention.

Seriocomic · 18/09/2025 12:34

bonnieyellow · 18/09/2025 12:21

His name actually is Steve so this really made me laugh. Wish I was brave enough.

See? I'm psychic. So listen to me when I say that not ever having to listen to Steve pontificating about laddishness ever again will immeasurably improve your life. Make it happen.

DS plays rugby and football, and I find a minority of rugby parents just as liable to be pontificating rugby bores on the sidelines, as football ones. I deal with them in the same way. 'I'm afraid I never bother watching, Andrew. I'm just here to be a supportive face for DS, but I'm planning a book/next year's holiday/what colour to paint the living room.'