How to respond to insufferable football dad

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Ds14 has been playing grassroots football for several years on the same team as the child of annoying dad. I’ll call him AD for the purpose of this post. I know AD fairly well now and he is a pain in the ass. He’s one of those men who believe his opinion is right about everything.

I try to avoid him but he often makes a beeline for me at the football and generally mills about talking to everyone. If you say anything about the game, tactics whatever then he will contradict (obviously I’m a woman so know nothing about football). The most annoying thing is he starts ever sentence with ‘listen’ as if he’s about to impart some factual piece of wisdom that we all need to stop and listen to immediately.

Last week there was a bit of a punch up between some of our players and the opposition. It got quite nasty with lots of bad language etc. My ds wasn’t involved and I said something along the lines of ‘if ds was acting like that he’d be off the pitch and going straight home’. AD pipes up with ‘listen your lad is just as bad.’ I reply with ‘well he’s clearly not because he’s stood out of the way not getting involved.’

AD then launches into a speech about how i have to accept that my ds is a ‘lad’ the same as the rest of them and he will be just as bad at school or when he’s out with friends and I can’t know what he’s doing all of the time. Essentially trying to educate me about the behaviour and temperament of my own child who he doesn’t even know beyond seeing him play football. I walked away at this point as he was doing my head in.

This is just one incident. His entire attitude is obnoxious and know-it-all. I need a good response to close him down when he starts with his ‘listen….’ rants.

DS used to play for a league in east London /Kent. And some of the other teams dads were AWFUL. Always swearing at the ref and encouraging appalling behaviour. I usually just ignored.

However one man was so awful I looked at him with my best Paddington Hard Stare. He said, “what you fucking looking at?” I continued the Stare and in my best and most withering Maggie Smith Dowager Duchess of Grantham voice responded, “You. Need. To. Calm. Down.”

He did. OP I think I’d say, REALLY? On repeat. Until he gets bored.

I suggest you say kindly, slightly concerned ‘and you really just don’t mind how that offsides nearly everyone you tell it how it is to? Amazing.’ And turn and head to someone else.

I like this 2nd comment!

Or get some MASSIVE headphone and put them on every time he comes near? Smaller ones would also work but perhaps not get the message across as well 😂

This. The amount of stress and ego around in kids football is INSANE. We had a parent who would say ‘waste of space’ to kids as they walked back from missing a goal or whatever. They were 9!!!!

however if you were standing with parents of the kids involved I don’t think I’d have said what you did.

Incidentally I once had a call from a school mum saying she was watching my ds right now setting fires in the woods. Ds was sat in the kitchen!!!

“Shhhh, I have zero interest in the words coming out of your mouth. Please find someone else to bore”.

Though I will admit I have no patience with football parents. We live next to a park and the things you hear adults shout at children is beyond.

a friend once tried to explain to me it was much better now because there is now a designated parent in hi vis to tell everyone to be nice. Really? Adults need to be told not to shriek obscenities at children?

I’d say, ‘let me stop you there’. And then turn away.

Hold/maintain fierce eye contact with him, and do some earnest post-punk angular dancing at him, until he walks away.

Ugh, some football parents are just awful. Just turn away, don't engage, walk off if necessary. He'll soon get the message.

OP be rude. He's not bothered in the slightest offending you or jumping in your conversations.

Why does his feelings matter more than yours?

Yawn in his face. 'Steve this is so boring' and walk away. Every time.

If he tries to engage - 'Bore someone else Steve'. On repeat.

As you are a nice person this will feel very hard to do / go against the grain but don't let these feelings win. He doesn't try to protect your feelings. It's about his ego - and you're not there to boost his ego.

That would drive me mad. I would hold up my hand and say ‘Oi! Steve! Steve! I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this, but you start every sentence with the word listen, and to be honest I just don’t want to listen. I disagree with you and that’s ok, but what you say isn’t fact, it’s just your opinion. I loathe being told to listen like I’m fucking 5.

I do a head tilt and concerned smile like you know something about him that's making you sad but don't want to say. It disarms people and hopefully makes them paranoid for a few weeks.

Or "I'd rather stick hot pokers in my eyes"

Blimey, he really seems like a gem, doesn't he. 🙄🙄🙄 Just don't engage in conversation with him at all.

It is because of parents like him, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when my DS showed absolutely no interest in football! 😂

Personally I would have told him not to judge your son by his own low standards.

I think you are going to have to be blunt and Steve, please do interrupt, we have no interest in you and your listen. Turn away and carry on your conversation. It will take a while but he will eventually get the hint.

And then be very grateful you are not married to him!

1 day just say you’re deaf & have never heard a word he’s said? for reality speak in monotone!

When my STBXH starts randomly telling me something (eg he starts telling me in depth about what he’s watching on tv) I wait til he finally and pauses and will say something like “did I ask?” Or “If I wanted to know I’d watch it myself or ask you” or “why are you telling me this?” - would something like that work on this guy? Because no matter how he replies, he’ll look like a twat.

sadly some men just feel they have to impart their IMPORTANT MAN KNOWLEDGE to us women…

This type of bloke is more prevalent on a football sideline, thus why football is best avoided imho

Shout BORING!!! Like that Nigel Farage meme.

I wasn’t standing with them. I was stood with another mum whose dc also wasn’t involved. Steve was obviously within earshot and incidentally his child was involved. He obviously doesn’t enjoy hearing criticism as much as he enjoys dishing it out.

Surely, "thanks for your opinion, random man"?

‘if ds was acting like that he’d be off the pitch and going straight home’.

That was pretty "insufferable" OP. Obviously you're a much better parent than any of the others.....which makes me think he could be right about your DS.

Ok if that’s what you’re choosing to take from the thread.

Yes I expressed an opinion (quietly) to another parent. But sure I’m more insufferable than the obnoxious man who listens in on other people’s conversations, mansplains everything and is never wrong 😂

You attacked his child and his parenting "quietly" enough for him to hear. How would you expect him to respond?

My son plays rugby and some of the parents are awful