Husband not been paying tax for years

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I'm so worried and scared. Over a year ago two debt collectors came to our door and handed me a letter addressed to my husband. I opened it and it said we owed approx £500k to the taxman. I nearly collapsed.

When my husband came home I confronted him and he basically broke down saying he hadn't been paying tax on his Ltd company for about 5 years. He'd liquidised his company without my knowledge and taken me off as Company Secretary presumably so I wouldn't find out and to extricate me from any financial liability. We had to get a tax lawyer to negotiate on our behalf with the debt collectors and after many months of wrangling, my husband told me it was £64k we owed which we could put our savings towards and also set up a direct debit and pay the rest monthly.

Fast forward a year, I had two debt collectors standing at my front door. It turns out my husband has been lying about the amount owed...it's in actual fact £150k. I'm horrified, my heart's racing as I'm writing this. He told me over the phone he'd used £30k of our son's trust fund money towards it. He told me he's incapable of saying no to me (?!) and he knows he's got emotional problems.

I don't understand any of this...I'm in my 50s, yes, I like nice things (who doesn't) but never overspent in terms of the money that's in our account and was surplus after all bills are paid. He didn't come home last night, he's too ashamed and embarrassed and keeps telling me he's no good and I deserve better. I've been with this man for over 30 years and can't imagine life without him, although I massively resent him at this point.

I found out he'd taken his watch (a present for his 50th) to a pawnbroker to get a £1,500 per loan against the watch. He said it was to pay off the rest owed to the tax lawyer. I asked (shouted) why the hell did he not come to me as I'd managed to put some money aside. Again, he was too embarrassed and said he just wanted it sorted and out the way. I ended up giving him over £2k to get the watch back.

I'm worried sick. How on earth do I deal with this without knowing whether he's lying or not? I don't have access to his business account because I'm not company secretary. I have access to everything else (I think?).

I'm mostly disgusted at my son's trust fund. He's 21, and it was meant to be for a down payment on a flat at some point. Now there's nothing. My son's now aware of this and thinks I should leave his dad as he can't be trusted. What do you think? Any advice would be extremely welcome.

If he’s earning £130k, his take home is £6.5k per month (after paying income tax, NI, pension etc)!!

This really isn’t mansion and Porsche money if he’s supporting a family. Sorry OP but even if you didn’t have the debt, you’d need a big lifestyle change. You’re also going to be paying off mega debt, so really need to cut back.

Think outside of London in a nice-ish but not super posh area, 3 bed Victorian terrace house, small garden, one small car. This is what you should be planning for.

This post doesn’t make any sense. They’ve only got £100k mortgage. It doesn’t matter what size the house is if the mortgage is so small does it?

of course they can sell the house releasing the equity to pay off the debt. But that doesn’t actually impact the cost of their living the expenses, unless they end up needing to take out another mortgage or pay rent.

Well her husband didn't, the same as lots of men!

He earns £130k a year and your mortgage is £100k, yet he has had to pawn a watch to pay some expenses? It's not adding up at all!

You need to ask to see bank statements OP, where are all his wages going? It should be around £7000 a month? Why is he so broke, THAT is the question you need to be asking.

Ah, I see. I was thinking of the government trust fund accounts which I don't think even exist anymore.

Because he’s trying to pay HMRC back a massive payment plan? Plus trying to pay the tax lawyer according to op. It all makes perfect sense, these are substantial commitments

What job does he do now that's earning 130k. Does he pay tax on those earnings. You need to sell the house and downsize, your son may want to move out anyway. Sell the porch, get a job and both start taking the responsibility of paying back the debt.

True to a certain extent, but heating, maintenance, council tax, gardening etc can’t be cheap for an 8-bed period property with big rooms!

Guess it depends what it’s worth - is it £1m of house or £2.5m…? If the latter, definitely worth selling up to release equity. If the former, then stamp duty might eat into the equity you release.

Did you read the thread? It’s worth £400k 😂😂

Oh lol I must’ve missed that part! Bizarre.

No she said they had 300k equity and 100k left

i I think she based that on purchase tbh - the house could be a lot more now

cant believe her mum paid for the rehab! I’m not surprised your sister is snooty with you as you’ve clearly been living beyond your means for years

Yeah I must admit, the rehab might’ve cost more than the Porsche 🫣

How can such a huge house be worth so little? Surely it will be worth nearly a million if it is so huge? 😮

Just seen it's £300k equity. Ignore me lol

But that is only in the last year since it was uncovered, so the question still stands.. £100k mortgage, £130k a year job, not paying his tax liabilities for the last 5 years...

WHERE HAS ALL THE MONEY BEEN GOING?

OP really needs to insist on seeing bank statements IMO, non negotiable.

400 for an 8 bed house, where do you live! 400k here is a small terrace 😭😭😭

My SIL has a massive house in Blackpool - worth maybe slightly less than £400k. It used to be a small hotel/ guesthouse.

They’ve been spending money they don’t have. He hasn’t paid tax for 5 years. OP describes £1k a month pills habit, they put £30k in a fund for their child. It’s probably all sorts. I don’t think it’s necessarily scandalous, living beyond your means adds up and sounds like they’ve treated themselves to some nice things.

That money couldn’t have been in a trust fund if he has managed to take it. Unless he has managed to do so fraudulently.

Yes I was just answering your question. I thought you were asking why it was important if the husband is now working as a sole trader. Sorry if that's not what you meant. I only read the OPs posts as its a long thread

.

Well I asked why you thought it was important enough to post that it was a very important point ? The company is now liquidated

So were you still, as far as you were concerned, fulfilling your company secretary duties? Were you making annual accounts and confirmation statement filings? If so how did you not see you had been removed? If not, why not?

If they really live somewhere an 8 bed detached home is £400k then I reckon they could get a 2 bed terrace, semi or flat relatively nearby for not too much more than £150k, surely? Or at least pay a whacking great deposit and get a mortgage for say £50k…

I can’t find this . Where is it ?