Husband not been paying tax for years

[Shitsinthepost77]

I'm so worried and scared. Over a year ago two debt collectors came to our door and handed me a letter addressed to my husband. I opened it and it said we owed approx £500k to the taxman. I nearly collapsed.

When my husband came home I confronted him and he basically broke down saying he hadn't been paying tax on his Ltd company for about 5 years. He'd liquidised his company without my knowledge and taken me off as Company Secretary presumably so I wouldn't find out and to extricate me from any financial liability. We had to get a tax lawyer to negotiate on our behalf with the debt collectors and after many months of wrangling, my husband told me it was £64k we owed which we could put our savings towards and also set up a direct debit and pay the rest monthly.

Fast forward a year, I had two debt collectors standing at my front door. It turns out my husband has been lying about the amount owed...it's in actual fact £150k. I'm horrified, my heart's racing as I'm writing this. He told me over the phone he'd used £30k of our son's trust fund money towards it. He told me he's incapable of saying no to me (?!) and he knows he's got emotional problems.

I don't understand any of this...I'm in my 50s, yes, I like nice things (who doesn't) but never overspent in terms of the money that's in our account and was surplus after all bills are paid. He didn't come home last night, he's too ashamed and embarrassed and keeps telling me he's no good and I deserve better. I've been with this man for over 30 years and can't imagine life without him, although I massively resent him at this point.

I found out he'd taken his watch (a present for his 50th) to a pawnbroker to get a £1,500 per loan against the watch. He said it was to pay off the rest owed to the tax lawyer. I asked (shouted) why the hell did he not come to me as I'd managed to put some money aside. Again, he was too embarrassed and said he just wanted it sorted and out the way. I ended up giving him over £2k to get the watch back.

I'm worried sick. How on earth do I deal with this without knowing whether he's lying or not? I don't have access to his business account because I'm not company secretary. I have access to everything else (I think?).

I'm mostly disgusted at my son's trust fund. He's 21, and it was meant to be for a down payment on a flat at some point. Now there's nothing. My son's now aware of this and thinks I should leave his dad as he can't be trusted. What do you think? Any advice would be extremely welcome.

I wonder if the 8 apartment house (not sure what one of those is )will sell quickly, there's not many people that need 8 bedrooms .

Other tax dodgers ?

I would personally be sympathetic to your husband unless there money was being spent on things outside the household.

Not to try and frighten you over suicide but consider please that your husband could have been caught up in something like the 'Loan charge scheme' which has left some contractors receiving huge tax bills.

https://news.sky.com/story/rise-in-suicide-attempts-linked-to-hmrc-tax-crackdown-as-mps-criticise-sham-review-in-to-loan-charge-13345828

The time to find out what was happening was a year ago. It's quite possible that he was trying to shield you (due to your previous addiction or other reasons) from an intolerable situation he was under.

The money he should have paid on tax went instead on funding a lifestyle you couldn't afford. That includes a saving account for your son. Paying into this instead of paying tax. If he was using an umbrella company and fell foul of HMRC it would have been a shock.

The money for your son was never really there if it should have gone on tax.

I know contractors who ended up in this position after taking the wrong financial advice and some became desperate, lost their homes and did stupid things.

When it all blew up a year ago you should paid attention then and made the changes and cut backs needed. You should have realised that your husband wasn't coping then. He has been carrying the responsibility for too long and things like pride, embarrassment may be behind this failure rather than a desire to cause you pain or cut you out.

Yes, he should have been honest but it sounds as if the writing was on the wall already and neither of you knew how to fix it.

I can’t get past the fact that he robbed £30k out of his own son’s savings but still kept his £1.5k watch! And then you paid £2k to get the watch back, why not give that money to your son?!

I don't understand why you're positioning this as money he can't pay back? Sell the eight bedroom house, get a two or three bedroom house and use the difference in value to pay off the debt. Am I missing something?

I actually can understand this. You owe £500k/£150k and they are pressurising the shit out of you to pay money.

I don’t think many people realise how aggressive the government are.

It’s not uncommon for them to refuse to engage in any payment plan or negotiation at all until you come to them with a substantial cash payment- this includes people who deny they owe the money and simply want to discuss or prove that.

£30k would get you a conversation and maybe a bit of leniency. £1.5k was never going to make any impact.

and as the poster above said in her excellent post; they never had the money to save £30k for their child anyway. That was tax money.

I hope the thread has given you some comfort OP that you do have a way out

i understand it must have been a shock and you most likely want to do whatever you can to maintain your current lifestyle but you need to be realistic

also agree that you and DH need to sit down and talk as your drug addiction will have contributed to the financial mess both directly and indirectly and you both need to be really honest with each other now. Remember the positives - you have your health and you have a lively son (I assume!) and the things you will loose are just that - things

And she used his money to fund her drug habit for 6 years. If she paid that back he would have enough to pay the son back plus at less a third of the hmrc debt but maybe even half. Instead she chooses to remain unemployed.

Apparently the 8-bedroom house is only worth £400k with £100k left on the mortgage (per OP’s earlier post). Is £300k enough to pay back £150k of tax debt and buy a small house?

@Shitsinthepost77
Did you ever pay back the money you spent on drugs? That was family money that you stole for drugs. Did you not get a job to pay that back?

Your mum had to pay for rehab so that means that you and your husband didn’t have the money… so you spend all the money he earns and didn’t save anything. And you’re wondering why he stopped paying tax? Maybe from trying to fund your lifestyle.

Is this a serious thread. £130k, wife not working and a 8 bedroom house and a flashy car? Really?

Did you not see the point of the thread? He’s not paid tax for 5 years!

Did you not see the point of the thread? He’s not paid tax for 5 years!

A charge on the house would make more sense. Surprised this hasn’t already happened

@Shitsinthepost77 what kind of jobs have you been applying for? Ones that you did previously? If so, I can understand why you don't get interviews due to your long career break. So, if I were you, I'd look at doing one or more of the following:

1. Self-employed housekeeper or cleaner
2. Turn 3 or 4 of your bedrooms at home into B&B, for the loaded oil industry people that come to the area
3. Supermarket - some such as Lidl pay more than minimum wage
4. McDonalds - again, pays more than minimum wage
5. There is hospitality, but will be hard to earn about minimum wage, departments such as housekeeping
6. Exam invigilator (only twice a year though, so you'd need other employment too)

If you're earning money again, albeit a small amount (£20-30K), you can start to replenish your son's trust fund as well as some of your household bills, while your DH concentrates on aggressively paying down the debt. Your DH will need to be fully transparent from here on in and SHOW you everything, you need to see that his company's money IS actually paying the debt down. No more putting his head in the sand. You CAN get through this together, but he needs to be open and honest. Try watching some Dave Ramsey youtube videos, there are plenty there on paying off this level of debt. If you BOTH work hard at it, you could probably get it paid off within 2 years BUT I know HMRC usually won't wait for their money, so obviously your solicitor can give you the deadline. Get rid of the bloody Porche and every penny from it's sale can go towards that debt.

An 8 bed house anywhere in the UK would raise enough money to pay the debt and still have enough left for a very nice house.
If it's not mortgaged you could raise a mortgage over ten years to get the money, then sell.

You can buy 8 bedroom houses for not a great deal in some parts of the UK, you know! We looked at buying one for about £120K a decade ago!

They need to sell the car, and the OP needs to get a job, but I don't see why you're doubting this is a serious thread.

If it’s not enough to buy a house then they will have to rent

i I can’t decide if this is a thread to counter the benefit cheat ones and prove every part of society is ripping off the state tbh!!

Please be careful OP, I am concerned your husband's mental health could be at risk and he could end up doing something on impulse which cannot be reversed and have devastating consequences.
Tell him to come home and you will sort it out together, at the end of the day it is only money and it can be sorted.

LTB then you are safe from this absolute tosser

Rehab is expensive isn't it ? Op and her husband have been living way above their means for years , happy to accept money from her mother who now needs her savings to survive.

Bankruptcy? Iva?

I agree with this. Absolutely noone should feel suicidal due to tax debt but it’s not only common, it actually happens.

it is only money and it can be sorted. He’s at increased risk of psychosis and stroke/ heart attack from the stress.

Agreed - Yang this is a situation they can get out of so focus on the positives with him

you should never get involved with a financial or tax scheme you don’t understand. If it sounds too good to be true then it most likely is!

although in this case it obviously wasn’t a scheme

Getting into unmanageable debt is forgivable. The betrayal of your son is not.

Sell the house, move further north, sell the Porsche, pay the tax and give your son back his savings fund.