Husband not been paying tax for years

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I'm so worried and scared. Over a year ago two debt collectors came to our door and handed me a letter addressed to my husband. I opened it and it said we owed approx £500k to the taxman. I nearly collapsed.

When my husband came home I confronted him and he basically broke down saying he hadn't been paying tax on his Ltd company for about 5 years. He'd liquidised his company without my knowledge and taken me off as Company Secretary presumably so I wouldn't find out and to extricate me from any financial liability. We had to get a tax lawyer to negotiate on our behalf with the debt collectors and after many months of wrangling, my husband told me it was £64k we owed which we could put our savings towards and also set up a direct debit and pay the rest monthly.

Fast forward a year, I had two debt collectors standing at my front door. It turns out my husband has been lying about the amount owed...it's in actual fact £150k. I'm horrified, my heart's racing as I'm writing this. He told me over the phone he'd used £30k of our son's trust fund money towards it. He told me he's incapable of saying no to me (?!) and he knows he's got emotional problems.

I don't understand any of this...I'm in my 50s, yes, I like nice things (who doesn't) but never overspent in terms of the money that's in our account and was surplus after all bills are paid. He didn't come home last night, he's too ashamed and embarrassed and keeps telling me he's no good and I deserve better. I've been with this man for over 30 years and can't imagine life without him, although I massively resent him at this point.

I found out he'd taken his watch (a present for his 50th) to a pawnbroker to get a £1,500 per loan against the watch. He said it was to pay off the rest owed to the tax lawyer. I asked (shouted) why the hell did he not come to me as I'd managed to put some money aside. Again, he was too embarrassed and said he just wanted it sorted and out the way. I ended up giving him over £2k to get the watch back.

I'm worried sick. How on earth do I deal with this without knowing whether he's lying or not? I don't have access to his business account because I'm not company secretary. I have access to everything else (I think?).

I'm mostly disgusted at my son's trust fund. He's 21, and it was meant to be for a down payment on a flat at some point. Now there's nothing. My son's now aware of this and thinks I should leave his dad as he can't be trusted. What do you think? Any advice would be extremely welcome.

I have only skim read, so apologies if I have missed something, but I am confused as to why debt collectors are at your home. Your husband owns a limited company - the benefit of this is that it limits the personal liability of Directors, so you can't lose your house for example, because the Company owes money.

Presumably it was corporation tax your DH wasn't paying? Was the Co already bankrupt? Is that why the tax money owed wasn't recouped when it was liquidated? Has he been accused of fraud? I think you need to start getting to the bottom of what has happened by understanding the structure of the Company, why the liquidation didn't end the debt issue and how you can both move forward.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/corporation-tax-penalties#penalties-for-not-telling-hmrc-your-company-is-liable-for-corporation-tax

https://www.ukstartcompany.com/2025/03/30/what-happens-if-a-company-in-the-uk-fails-to-pay-its-taxes/

This is very odd. Is it the business that owes tax or your DH. They are different legal entities. If it's the business then you just close the business. You can't legally trade if you are insolvent anyway.

Agree, Have reported.

This is a very odd thread. Asked MNHQ to take a look.

OP seems to be making up figures as she goes along.

HMRC does not send debt collectors.
This is a load of bull.

My guess is he has unpaid debts in his own name too (and if you’re married you’re ’jointly and severally liable’ so you can also be chased)

This is NOT true. I worked in debt recovery for decades, and can categorically refute this. The Op cannot be pursued for any debts in the sole name of her husband, unless she is a Guarantor.

Op, I would check that your DH hasn't taken a second mortgage on your home. My Dad did this without my Mum knowing, as he forged her signature.

Sure, but my accountant would know whether I've paid or not and they wouldn't work for me again knowing I haven't paid HMRC for four of five years knowing that

How did you think your dh was able to afford these things? I think you are lying- either to yourself or to everyone here in a desperate attempt to avoid liability/ prison yourself, and you were absolutely complicit in the tax avoidance. You cannot possibly have thought an 8 bedroom house and a £100k super car was affordable on £130k income. Sell the house and car and pay your debts.

There was a thread exactly like this not long back … don’t think that lasted long either 😉

I’m sorry to hear about your problems. I would get a lawyer, get a divorce, he won’t stop lying ever, you cannot trust a word he says and he stole from your son, appalling and unforgivable. I know you said you are in your fifties but there are plenty of jobs out there you could do as a stop gap. Driving, supermarket, cleaning. With regards to trusting another man, you don’t have to, be single and independent. You don’t really have a loving relationship now do you?

i would be very careful about remortgaging because, if you do this jointly, you become directly liable for the debt - don’t put yourself at such risk! I’d be consulting a lawyer myself to ensure I wasn’t being dragged into his debts where I was otherwise not liable.

Agree.its against their code of ethics.

Honestly, I don't understand what people get out of posting fabricated threads. Do they like the drama? Are their lives so sad?...

This entirely.
I don't think it's fair for husband to take all the blame and separation shouldn't be considered at this stage.
Professional advice needs to be sourced and OP needs to get a job, irrespective of pay.
Running a household and sole financial responsibility is a huge responsibility and OP's salary can be used to support repayment plan

I don't buy the level of Naivety here.

My DH and I earn 140k between us. We have a nice lifestyle in that I don't panic at the shops; but we still buy groceries at Tesco and don't spend masses on holidays - maybe 2k a year. I drive a Skoda, he has a small Audi on HP. My watch was 150 quid. We have paid off our house. We have 500k in savings separate from our pensions, we are hoping to retire at 60. Our DC each got 10k on their 21st birthday and we help out as and when (eg DC is starting a new job and we spent 200 on smarter clothing).

You seem to be living as if DH is a millionaire.

I'm beginning to wonder how long this thread will last as well!! The Porsche is the icing on the cake 🍰

Well that, or, OP still doesn't have the full story....

I know you're no longer Secretary, but are you a Director? A Shareholder?
How does your DH take money out of the company? Salary? Shares? And if so have you (both of you) been filling in your tax returns for income tax and paying NI etc? I find it odd that HMRC could have left this for five full years before pursuing in any meaningful way.

OP - anyone can see company accounts on Gov Companies House!

So being taken off the role of company secretary is rubbish. You'd need to sign that off. All you had to do was look at his name and company online and see his accounts.

You're either very ignorant or inventing stuff.

Whether or not this particular thread is genuine there is definitely a spate of MNers thinking that they're rich and can live a lavish lifestyle with a household income of £120k ish.

I'm wondering if your DH has been trying and failing to manage a very demanding home/work/lifestyle balance.

that’s the crux of it. plus OP’s addiction.

Yes he has lied and committed a financial fraud but op is not a victim of him.

I don't think you are taking the theft of your son's trust fund seriously. Unless you are using the wrong wording it is a criminal act. Will he be reporting to the police?

He has signally failed to evade tax.

The OP is in this mess because she trusted a man and he deceived her. It has nothing to do with being a SAHM - what a shame there is so little respect for women who want to be a SAHM on here. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or insecurity that makes people feel they have to put down women that make different choices, but it's really depressing.

OP why did you buy the watch back? He doesn't need a 2 grand watch, he's just stolen your sons trust fund. To be honest he needs to be in jail.

very ignorant or inventing stuff.

or used to of doing nothing.

A trust fund is managed by a group of trustees who have to agree on actions with it.

OP is making stuff up.