Rude woman on the bus, WWYD?

[DontReinMeIn]

Last night I got on the bus like normal, there was a guy watching the news out loud without headphones on. It was annoying but it is what it is, you can’t force someone to put headphones on, so I put my AirPods in and that was that.

a couple of stops later an older woman (probably 50-ish?), got on and goes straight up to the man, starts jabbing him and shouting at him to turn it off, because the news was now about Trump and a speech he made and the woman “can’t bear to listen to it”. The man said no and turned back to his phone. She started screaming hysterically about the fact she can’t stand Trump, shouldn’t be subjected to listening to him in a public place, and demanding that the bus driver remove him from the bus.

The driver refused and told her that she needed to sit down or get off, as he couldn’t continue his route with her being disruptive. She sat down, but was crying loudly and told every single person that got on about what had happened, how she was so much better than that man and criticising everyone else on the bus for not “speaking up” about him listening to it.

AIBU to think I should’ve just told her to shut up? Looking back I regret it because as much as I dislike Trump (and people not using headphones on public transport), the man wasn’t actually doing anything wrong and shouldn’t have been attacked like he was.

i wouldnt have screamed and touched somewone but when did it become aceptable to lisgten to your phone with no earphones -i just dont get it

This wasn't supposed to be a direct quote reply

I disagree. I don't think it's right to jab your finger in someone's face or scream at them, but the man was rude and selfish to listen to his phone in a public space (particularly a confined space, like a bus) without headphones on. Just accepting things is what normalises them.

Loving (not!) the "old lady" comments - OP says the woman was 50-ish 😂

They were both twats . He’s a thoughtless prat for having it loud, and she overstepped with the jabbing . Maybe, just maybe , if she had to ask him politely he may have turned it down instead of going in all guns blazing.

Totally misses point of thread but
Older woman 50ish?
I'm going to crawl back under my early fifties rock
Another poster called her the old lady!!

she was clearly in distress so he was a knob for not turning it off or using headphones.

But he was an utter dick for not using headphones in the first place, and in your shoes i would have asked him to do so.

Nice bit of ageism there, OP, so well done for that.

As much as I disagree with the OP as a whole, the lady is older than her so I think it's an ok descriptor, but her age is irrelevant really. And it's telling that we don't know the man's age.

no. It isn't.

I often tell people to turn the noise down, or use headphones. and mostly people do that. Especially when they do that looking around thing to see what other people think, and everyone is nodding along with me.

It is bloody rude, and ignoring it is one way to deal with it. Politely asking for it to stop is another.

“the man wasn’t actually doing anything wrong” - er yes he absolutely was. It’s the height of bad manners to play ANYTHING out loud on your phone on public transport.

Clearly the woman overreacted massively but I am sick to death of people thinking it’s ok to assault my senses with whatever it is they’re playing on their phone, out loud.

He was probably mid to late 30s, at a guess.

Bad manners aren’t a reason to assault someone. If it annoys you, take headphones with you.

Old lady? At 50ish? I'm in my 50s and this makes me very sad.

Obviously no one should be assaulting anybody!
It’s not my responsibility to take/wear headphones just because others are being antisocial with their noise. It’s THEIR responsibility to use headphones if they’re listening to something. Why are you trying to excuse bad behaviour?

To be honest it just makes me laugh (I'm 56), it's so ridiculous!

Having news, music etc blurting out is antisocial. And OP no I won't be using headphones to cut out the noise, it's important be aware of your surroundings in this day and age.

If you know it annoys you, of course it is!

@DontReinMeIn I didn't want to know his age, but the fact you thought hers was relevant enough to put in your OP and didn't mention his until page 9 is telling of your bias in the situation.

Playing videos without headphones on is worse than poking someone in my opinion.

yeah, i think that the screaming would have bothered me so i may, depending on how crowded the bus was and how far i had to go, might have suggested to the phone-wanker that he use headphones in order to stop the ranting. And then i might have suggested to the woman that she sit as far away from him as possible.

And under those circs, someone would probably then have the backing of other passengers. (unfortunately, bus drivers have to stick to their route and ignore the phone wankers. If transport companies added "use headphones or no phone use" to the "no food" "no alcohol" stickers, they could just tap that and hopefully behaviour will improve)

Why is the responsibility not with the person who wants to listen to something?

I normally say “can you turn it down a bit pls” to people. There are ways of asking politely.

Just because it's not a reason to assault someone doesn't mean he wasn't doing anything wrong. He was. I'm not agreeing with the fact that the "older woman' should have done what she did. I'm pointing out that he was doing something wrong

Can’t there be a middle way, with people objecting to the bad manners but not committing assault? How else is the bad-mannered person going to know that others find what they are doing objectionable?

I find your acceptance of the bad manners, putting the responsibility for not having to hear the noise onto everyone other than the offender, very depressing.

For someone asking for opinions from others you sure have a very fixed one yourself and do not seem to be accepting of anyone else’s. Did you actually want opinions or did you come here just to complain about the woman on the bus?

The driver should have asked them both to get off.