Rude woman on the bus, WWYD?

[DontReinMeIn]

Last night I got on the bus like normal, there was a guy watching the news out loud without headphones on. It was annoying but it is what it is, you can’t force someone to put headphones on, so I put my AirPods in and that was that.

a couple of stops later an older woman (probably 50-ish?), got on and goes straight up to the man, starts jabbing him and shouting at him to turn it off, because the news was now about Trump and a speech he made and the woman “can’t bear to listen to it”. The man said no and turned back to his phone. She started screaming hysterically about the fact she can’t stand Trump, shouldn’t be subjected to listening to him in a public place, and demanding that the bus driver remove him from the bus.

The driver refused and told her that she needed to sit down or get off, as he couldn’t continue his route with her being disruptive. She sat down, but was crying loudly and told every single person that got on about what had happened, how she was so much better than that man and criticising everyone else on the bus for not “speaking up” about him listening to it.

AIBU to think I should’ve just told her to shut up? Looking back I regret it because as much as I dislike Trump (and people not using headphones on public transport), the man wasn’t actually doing anything wrong and shouldn’t have been attacked like he was.

The man without the headphones was the rude one here.

Is 700 out of 1,000 people a representative enough sample for you or are we holding out for a census?

https://tfl.gov.uk/info-for/media/press-releases/2025/august/new-tfl-campaign-encourages-customers-to-use-headphones-on-public-transport

The fact TfL had to waste money on posters telling grown adults not to blast their phones in public should tell you something: it’s incredibly antisocial behaviour and most commuters hate it.

Dismissing it as “that’s just public transport” is part of the problem. It’s the “I’m alright, Jack” attitude that allows people to treat shared space like their living room.

Yes, the “older” woman lost her temper — but plenty of us can see why. When 70% of fellow passengers probably silently agree with her, she was right that other passengers should have stepped in too.

Might be worth asking yourself why so many posters on this thread are calling you ageist. When “we” (and I include myself in that majority) read your comments, the subtext is “older women should just put up and shut up”. Maybe — hear me out — maybe, we’re pointing out a blind spot that’s glaringly obvious to everyone but you …

Oh my god, no it bloody well isn't!

Normal noise is people talking to each other, small children being small children, traffic, the sounds of the engine etc.

Some self centred arsehole playing anything audible on their phone without headphones, is creating noise pollution - which is why there's a lot more mention of it in the press, on social media such as this, and finally the likes of TFL are starting to take a very little bit of a stance on it.

Just because you personally don't mind it, doesn't mean that most people are wrong in saying that they do.

You are the outlier here.

Well me playing bagpipes on the bus would technically be background noise, as would someone repeatedly swearing as loud as they could.

Can you really not see that some noises are acceptable and some aren't? Do you really believe that the only options are everyone sitting in complete silence or everyone being as loud as they please?

As you've been told repeatedly, the final comment about generational differences is ageist and based entirely on your bigotry. (78% of people on this thread think YABU and you have no idea what any of their ages are.)
Some facts for you:
A survey by Ipsos found that 73% of respondents consider it unacceptable to talk loudly on a phone without headphones, and 53% agree with the same for video or conference calls without headphones. Additionally, 82% of people find it unacceptable to listen to music at a loud volume through headphones that others can hear. These findings suggest that while some people may not mind the use of speakers, the general sentiment is that it is not acceptable to disturb others with loud sounds. Source: TfL

No-one is expecting anyone else to sit in silence! And it wouldn't be anti-social even if they did - it would be unreasonable. But no-one is expecting that. Do try to gain some perspective if you learn nothing else from this fatuous thread.

@BellesAndGraces "Might be worth asking yourself why so many posters on this thread are calling you ageist. When “we” (and I include myself in that majority) read your comments, the subtext is “older women should just put up and shut up”. Maybe — hear me out — maybe, we’re pointing out a blind spot that’s glaringly obvious to everyone but you …"
Indeed. OP has unconscious bias about older people (or maybe it's just older women?). That's completely understandable as unconscious bias is part of the human condition - we all have it. What's not understandable (or forgivable IMO) is to be confronted with one's unconscious bias(es) and simply deny it; to have no desire to recognise it and accept the responsibility to do all you can to correct it. As @5128gap so astutely observed, OP will carry her unchecked bias with her until she becomes the very thing she has so much contempt for now - an older woman. I actually pity her.

Feel free to start chatting with random strangers on public transport. 👀. 👀. 🤷‍♀️

Some people will class you into the same box as you put the other women and the bloke making noise polution😬

Yes, how ppl aren't embarrassed to watch on the bus out loud, I don't know.
Why don't they try have abit of conversation/ banter with the person next to them.
The world is permanently on the phone when out, sad how it's become.

No. It's not. It's rude people being rude.

"Old" lady crying and screaming is background noise by OP's definition

Aren't we forgetting something here? It wasn't random noise that he was playing, it was a speech by Donald Trump. He was forcing a bus load of people to listen to a speech by Donald Trump. Perhaps she thought he was doing it deliberately.

Did this happen during one of the heatwaves? People lose their temper more often during a heatwave.

OP - you’ve spent a day arguing with strangers on the internet because you woke up with a sense of regret for not having told this woman to shut up. Why? Why post here? Why give this issue so much headspace? Why do really you feel guilty - who helped you learn that?

She started screaming hysterically

Did she, aye?

Do you genuinely not see the misogyny coursing through your post (what I quoted above is just one example)? If this thread reflects your true thoughts and feelings even after reflecting on the experience, and your best efforts in trying to work this out for yourself before turning to others for insight and validation, you might consider ... reconsidering.

Yes, the driver should have insisted that the passenger reduce the audible-to-others volume on his device, not because he was listening to Trump but because he was indulging in antisocial behaviour in a public place and perhaps even more importantly in a place which is partially subsidized by the public as a public good AND which some people have no real option but to use, AND where users are required to be in close proximity to each other. There should never have been any reason for the other passenger to even reveal whatever trauma the specific content of the broadcast was bringing to the fore for her; the noise should never have been in the public space in the first place regardless of the content. And if the other passenger somehow initially did not realise that it was audible to others, he certainly did after she asked him to turn it down/use headphones. He still refused. Why (you might reflect) do you find the request to modulate or remove the noise pollution MORE of a violation that the original damaging behaviour of the media-blaster, or the failure of the driver to do his job?

The woman didn't set out to be "rude". She was angry, she was loud, she was demanding, she made you uncomfortable. She may have chosen some words and phrased her discomfort in ways that you yourself would not have done. She may have escalated more than you felt necessary. She was also right (apart from physically touching the noisy passenger, which no one is excusing). Why do you think your perception of her as rude and wrong was so strong you actually highlighted it, above all other characteristics of this experience, as the title of your post and framed it as MORE important than the clear failings of the other two characters involved (man blasting device and unresponsive/ineffective driver)?

She is a hero. They should name a bus route after her. People who listen to their phones out loud on public transport are entitled fools.

It never did. Deeply inconsiderate, which most reasonable people understand.

Starting to wonder if the OP was a research assistant drumming up interest for Martin Lewis …

Inspired by this thread I just asked a woman to turn her phone down on the bus. I got told she had no money for headphones but she turned the sound off. Viva the revolution!

Um... what do you think being mentally unwell means? Kind of, 'I'll stop being mentally unwell while I'm on the bus because it's rude and go back to being ill when I get home.'

The man was being a dick, and seeing how upset and unstable she was, he should have stopped inflicting his choice of audio on the rest of the bus. It's the equivalent of farting in someone's face.

Good for you. Inspired by this thread I am going to write to some politicians asking them to enforce a quiet policy on public transport.

Poundland sells them, there's no excuse. Or you can just look out the window you don't have to have something to watch.

'I just think she was totally overreacting and incredibly rude. People listening to things out loud is part of public transport and you just have to get on with it'
No people are just prob for good reason cowards. Why should people have to put up with selfish tw@t5 kids is one thing but adults.
Buses are the worst I just stopped using them a lot worse people on than that some drunk carpenter in the middle of the day waving a piece of wood around - he stopped but I got fed up fighting other peoples battles who are 30 yrs younger than me

I just don’t think it’s worth assaulting someone over!

No you did not think it was worth doing anything over then posted about someone standing up for the majority even if they went over the top. Perhaps the load music jerk will think twice next time.
In my case the drunk DIY carpenter waved his stick in front of the kid sat next to me I just told him to stop doing it adding a few expletives> I don't blame anyone for not doing anything its the sensible thing to do but don't blame people who do stand up to unsocial people - posting it on here it really taking the p and hypocritical ~I bet you said naff all the the bus rager either perhaps its guilt kicking in

Oh OP, you sound like you’re both misogynistic and ageist.
not cool. You have a lot to learn.
@DontReinMeIn

I agree, five times as well. It is a good think that mental health disorders are far more widely recognised now than in the past; however, I reckon a number of people play the mental health card as an excuse to avoid having to take responsibility for their behaviour. It is such a brilliant get-out card, because anyone challenging it risks looking like the villain.

I don't know about buses, but it is worth mentioning that playing music/videos at loud volume or having loud speakerphone conversations on trains is technically in breach of the railway bylaws, which do not permit any behaviour which would cause harm/discomfort/annoyance to other passengers. Doing such activities is therefore anti-social and thoughtless, and should be called out. The fact that this sort of thing isn't called out is why twatty behaviour has seeped through UK society like a bucket of diarrhea poured onto a polished floor.