Rude woman on the bus, WWYD?

[DontReinMeIn]

Last night I got on the bus like normal, there was a guy watching the news out loud without headphones on. It was annoying but it is what it is, you can’t force someone to put headphones on, so I put my AirPods in and that was that.

a couple of stops later an older woman (probably 50-ish?), got on and goes straight up to the man, starts jabbing him and shouting at him to turn it off, because the news was now about Trump and a speech he made and the woman “can’t bear to listen to it”. The man said no and turned back to his phone. She started screaming hysterically about the fact she can’t stand Trump, shouldn’t be subjected to listening to him in a public place, and demanding that the bus driver remove him from the bus.

The driver refused and told her that she needed to sit down or get off, as he couldn’t continue his route with her being disruptive. She sat down, but was crying loudly and told every single person that got on about what had happened, how she was so much better than that man and criticising everyone else on the bus for not “speaking up” about him listening to it.

AIBU to think I should’ve just told her to shut up? Looking back I regret it because as much as I dislike Trump (and people not using headphones on public transport), the man wasn’t actually doing anything wrong and shouldn’t have been attacked like he was.

Each to their own, I prefer to put on my music and read!

I have my doubts about whether this woman was actually "screaming in his face" to be honest.

You cannot just switch genders and ignore the size and strength differential.

But also the woman sounds mentally ill.

Just wait, it will creep up on you before you know it 🤣

id imagine the difference was her standing in the aisle, physically assaulting another passenger, and screaming hysterically?

I wonder if mumsnet users would be equally supportive of a man jabbing at a woman who was not wearing headphones.

So bizarre that you come on here to rant about this woman and wondering about whether you should have had a go at her when she was clearly not in a rational state.The man was a dick - a) for listening without headphones in the first place and b) for refusing to turn it off when asked. He is fully responsible for those decisions - if he was bothered by the woman's behaviour towards him and the disruption it was causing to everyone else he could have defused the situation in a second. But he chose not to because he doesn't give a shit about anyone else.

What do you think carers or people alone with young children should do when someone is blaring out intrusive noise on their phones?

Or a partially sighted person who needs to hear the announcements?

Or even someone with nuerodiversity for whom putting more sensory input from putting their own headphones might cause them struggle. Just put up with it?

I wonder what is going on with you that you tell us her age and are so unsympathetic to her.

we dont know his age and you’ve not said a word against him.

bit suss tbh.

I agree with this - MH issues.

I witnessed a guy outside a supermarket (using their cafe seating), not a customer) yesterday ranting loudly as he had been asked to move away by security guards. He clearly had MH issues too. It is sad and worrying that there are so many either undiagnosed /unmedicated :(

You could try not wearing them for a week & then see how you feel about people playing music / tv without using headphones.

I asked why you think it's ok to fill the air with phone noise but not human noise (in reaction)?

Thank goodness she doesn't live next to us. Yes I see her point. But not the drama, no not on a bus

The man was rude and shouldn’t have been obnoxious. Yes the woman didn’t behave well but if it was poking him to get attention describing that as assault feels overreaction.

I loathe people who play music/videos out loud. I live in London and there are now campaigns about it being antisocial so no I don’t think we should suck it up. When it happening next to me I do sometimes say something if the vibes feel ok.

My default approach is a big smile, tell them it is very loud and could they possibly put headphones on please - normally they look a bit embarrassed at being challenged and turn it off or at least down, Twice I have called out men who were loudly playing inappropriate videos by telling them what they were doing was inappropriate and they need to turn it off now (no smile for them) - one detailed press reports of a police shooting when I had children with me, one full on screaming from what seemed like a horror film. Both complied.

I get the bus twice a day through very challenging areas. This sounds like an example of an every day occurrence to me.
I’ve witnessed rows daily, domestics and full on fights.

I don't think these two things are comparable at all. She lost her temper. That is understandable.

Ooh a dangerous virtue signalling lefty, who was not only 'older', but also a violent woman assaulting a man because of his right to like right wing politicians! Who'd have thought someone would come along to support so many agendas all at once. Did you forget to tell us she was an immigrant on benefits as well?

He was in the wrong to start with inflicting his broadcast on other people. Doesn't matter what the topic is, use bloody headphones or earbuds!

She was way out of line too but it sounds like she was not completely in control of herself.

Coming across people going off like this woman did is also part of public transport.

I do. It's more than annoying. While I wouldn't grab it scream at someone doing it (though I do say something if it's something with swearing and there are kids on the bus) I'd be silently cheering them on if they did 😂

Leave the bus nutters to it. He was wrong, so was she. Public transport is SUCH a joy some days….

No, she was having some kind of meltdown and a bit of kindness and empathy to her state of mind would be more likely to get the bus moving again.

There are signs in our local buses to use headphones, no food or alcohol, some selfish entitled twats take no notice, he was being a prat, he said no and ignored her, I imagine he went home and bragged to all his mates about the nutter old woman on the bus instead of reflecting on his own behaviour which caused the problem in the first place.

Oh she was "hysterical" too was she?

"Older" (over 50) - check
Female - check
"Hysterical" - check.

There seems to be a a lot of mental health professionals on this thread with diagnostic authority... Maybe she was mentally unwell. Maybe she's a just a bit of an arsehole. Maybe she'd just had a bad day and was sick of everyone's shit and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Maybe OP is being hyperbolic and misrepresenting this woman's behaviour. Why are so many people so quick to jump to a definitive "mentally ill" conclusion?