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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Drinking in pregnancy

141 replies

Overitmum · 16/09/2025 11:45

Going to start by making it clear I didn’t drink. I was at a family event over the weekend and kept having people ask me do I miss drinking since I’m 6 months pregnant, or I got the I bet you can’t wait for a good drink comments. I was never a big drinker before so it’s not bothering me at all. There was another mum to be at this party and she was drinking a glass of wine so it made people ask me did I want one to even sip over. I just kept repeating I was happy enough with my orange juice then I had people admit they would have had a sneaky drink when they were expecting. Aibu to think you can not drink during pregnancy. It’s got me thinking how many women actually have a drink when pregnant but think it’s fine because they are not getting drunk, it honestly shocked me the amount of women who openly admitted at this party to having a drink when pregnant. Surly in this day and age with all the information we have on the dangers of drinking when pregnant it would make you think twice.

OP posts:
ThatCleverCoralCrow · 17/09/2025 20:32

Similar to above, coming in regular contact with children and adults affected by FAS of varying levels, this will impact my own choice to not touch alcohol during pregnancy.

Abitlosttoday · 17/09/2025 20:33

Allswellthatendswelll · 16/09/2025 11:53

They shouldn't have been pressuring you to drink but you shouldn't be judgemental about other women having the odd drink. The NHS guidance is very black and white but the actual research is alot more nuanced. I personally had a small glass of something at events about 3 times during my last pregnancy and obviously the baby was fine.

I agree with all of this and also had a few small drinks while pregnant. I work in NHS comms and the messaging is black and white because it has to be as simple and unambiguous as possible. The research, as you say is more complex.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 17/09/2025 20:34

When I was pregnamt the recommended amount was 1-2 drinks 1-2 times a week. The teetotal thing was introduced because some women carry on drinking and it’s a simpler message to say don’t drink not because having the off glass is dangerous to the fetus.

Btowngirl · 17/09/2025 20:46

I agree with PP’s who said just let people be if it’s a tiny glass of wine. Most women have pethidine in labour which passes to baby, so I can’t get too over excited about an occasional small wine tbh.

Neemie · 17/09/2025 21:05

I gave up drinking alcohol completely because it was just simpler than worrying about amounts. I did have a pudding that had alcohol in it. It didn’t even cross my mind when I ordered it or when I was eating it until the man opposite gasped at me in disapproval and asked if I should be eating it. I still feel a mixture of guilt and irritation about that and it was 18 years ago.

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 21:17

I adopted 2 children who we later found out that birth mum had been drinking alcohol and they BOTH have fetal alcohol effect. They are 17 and 15 now and Ive seen the effects it has later on in life for the children. Many babies may come out looking fine, but its mentally that it effects them.

Henrythed · 17/09/2025 21:18

I stopped drinking alcohol when I started ttc dd1, and have been either pg or bfing for most of the past 8 years. Had probably 5 drinks in that time in gaps between, and I don't miss it, and don't see any difficulty in giving it up just for a few months.

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 21:22

Please read attached poster ...

Drinking in pregnancy
MidnightPatrol · 17/09/2025 21:24

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 21:17

I adopted 2 children who we later found out that birth mum had been drinking alcohol and they BOTH have fetal alcohol effect. They are 17 and 15 now and Ive seen the effects it has later on in life for the children. Many babies may come out looking fine, but its mentally that it effects them.

Do you think this was the result of drinking a couple of glasses of wine?

Mrsmouse71 · 17/09/2025 21:27

An awful lot of conceptions happen at Christmas/new year or on holidays. Unless you are deliberately not drinking due to planning to get pregnant or otherwise the chances are you will drink in the early stages of pregnancy

ShesTheAlbatross · 17/09/2025 21:32

FrenchandSaunders · 16/09/2025 12:16

My kids are mid 20s now and the advice when I was pregnant was one or two small glasses once or twice a week.

I believe the guidance has changed because a lot of people aren't able to judge how little this means ... so it's easier to have a blanket ban which everyone understands.

I agree. People are bad at judging “stick to one unit” or whatever. So easier to just say have none.

I’m teetotal anyway, so don’t believe this out of a need to defend any drinking I did!

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 21:35

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 17/09/2025 18:07

I think there is a lot of scaremongering in women and that “we can’t be trusted” with our own bodies and limits hence this no alcohol rule. Alcohol as a rule is not good for you but one glass when you’re in your second or third trimester won’t do anything. It’s about balance. I’m 20 weeks and have had a few glasses of Prosecco in total. I had half a glass of fizz on Saturday and feel no guilt - had I drank a whole bottle and then had a Bloody Mary the next am… different story.

I honestly dont think its scaremongering... both my children have foetal alcohol effect, they were normal births, normal weight etc normal children, absolutely beautiful... but i started to see signs when they reached around the age of 4-5 for my son and age 3 for my daughter, they are 17 and 15 now, and its mentally draining for them - educationally my 15 year old really struggles and even worse socially. Emotionally my 17 year old struggles daily, we are lucky his is milder than his sibling, is that to do with how much birth mother drank on each pregnancy ... apparently not, any amount at any stage can cause it.

Im not trying to scare anyone, just being honest about the effect it can have on your children's lives, for that one or 2 glasses .. is it worth a lifetime for them?

BotswanaBay · 17/09/2025 21:35

I got absolutely hammered at the beginning of one of my pregnancies, only one of two times that I have been drunk in my life, but unfortunately I didn't realise I was pregnant. That particular child does have health issues, I've been told lots of times that it wasn't something that would be caused by drinking in pregnancy, but I still have guilt and he's nearly grown up now (and thriving).

GrandTheftWalrus · 17/09/2025 21:40

I didnt find out until nearly 6 weeks with both of mine. I had been at the football with my friend and got hammered on the friday and found out on the monday. I then didn't touch anything till after she was born.

With my 2nd my bloody craving was beer so I stocked up on alcohol free stuff and enjoyed them.

I do enjoy a drink but stopping was no problem.

I did have caffeine as was full time working with both but nightshift with 2nd. I kept within guidelines and drank caffeine free diet coke most of the time unless I was working.

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 21:44

MidnightPatrol · 17/09/2025 21:24

Do you think this was the result of drinking a couple of glasses of wine?

Probably not, but it can occur with any amount. Why would anyone risk it? I guess its similar to drinking while driving, some people can have half a glass of wine and be over the limit, some can have more.. depends on the person. Personally I wouldn't have half a glass and drive, its just not worth the risk.
I understand people have different views and this is a very hard subject to discuss. But either way is it worth that risk for 1 glass? .. id say no.

LouiseK93 · 17/09/2025 21:45

When I was pregnant with my first I developed a nasty cough so went to the chemist and they said medicine i can have is very limited because the guidelines are no alcohol in pregnancy at all.
I dont get the NEED to have a drink when pregnant. Like what is the point of one glass to sip over? Like you say your happy with your OJ.
Non pregnant people are so annoying when you're pregnant 😅.

Chick981 · 17/09/2025 21:47

They are bu to pressure you into having a drink/ make a fuss over it, but you are being unreasonable to judge the woman having a drink. If that’s her only drink all pregnancy then it’s absolutely fine (even if it’s not, it still could be fine, you don’t know so butt out)

MidnightPatrol · 17/09/2025 21:51

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 21:44

Probably not, but it can occur with any amount. Why would anyone risk it? I guess its similar to drinking while driving, some people can have half a glass of wine and be over the limit, some can have more.. depends on the person. Personally I wouldn't have half a glass and drive, its just not worth the risk.
I understand people have different views and this is a very hard subject to discuss. But either way is it worth that risk for 1 glass? .. id say no.

FASD cannot occur due to exposure to any amount of alcohol. There is no risk of FASD from having one drink.

Children with FASD have typically been exposed to extensive alcohol use / binge drinking.

I’m no great advocate of drinking with any frequency (or any significant amount) in pregnancy - but to claim your child might develop FASD from having one glass of wine is just incorrect and fearmongering.

DramaAlpaca · 17/09/2025 21:51

I love a drink but I didn't have any at all during my three pregnancies. The risk might be very small but it's there, and quite frankly any risk was too much for me. It's just not worth it.

BooneyBeautiful · 17/09/2025 21:58

Bumbers · 16/09/2025 12:13

Try actually reading the information regarding the risks. Heavy drinking is definitely bad, but there is no evidence of occasional glass having any impact. Try reading Emily Oster for some actual data and statistics.

When I was pregnant with DD 34 years ago, Guinness was considered to be good for you in pregnancy as it was supposed to contain a lot of iron (I think this has since been disproved). You were even allowed to drink it in hospital! Then after a couple of Guinness, you could sneak off to the smoking room for a crafty cigarette! Seems quite unbelievable now, doesn't it?

Mackerelfillets · 17/09/2025 22:08

Speaking as a parent is an adopted Son who has FASD, a glass of wine once every so often is OK, BUT ANY MORE THAN THAT, can cause serious harm. I was lucky enough to fall pregnant after adopting 2 children and never touched a drop. Our second adopted child has severe ADHD and she suspects her mum drank during pregnancy but we don't know for sure. AS1's mum has subsequently died during a drug fuelled episode.

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 22:10

MidnightPatrol · 17/09/2025 21:51

FASD cannot occur due to exposure to any amount of alcohol. There is no risk of FASD from having one drink.

Children with FASD have typically been exposed to extensive alcohol use / binge drinking.

I’m no great advocate of drinking with any frequency (or any significant amount) in pregnancy - but to claim your child might develop FASD from having one glass of wine is just incorrect and fearmongering.

It is not incorrect ... and i am not fearmongering .. these are facts .. if you google any information about drinking during pregnancy they will all tell you that even ONE drink can cause FASD ... all be it might be milder than if you binge drinking or are and alcoholic, but it CAN effect an unborn child. It doesn't always, but it CAN ..

Quote:
There is no safe amount of alcohol consumption during pregnancy because any amount can cause Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). The risk and severity of FASD increase with the amount, frequency, and timing of alcohol exposure during pregnancy. While heavy and regular binge drinking carries the greatest risk, even light or moderate drinking can have negative effects on a developing fetus. Therefore, the safest approach is to avoid all alcohol consumption throughout pregnancy.

Key Factors Influencing Risk
Quantity:
The more alcohol consumed per occasion, the higher the risk.

Frequency:
Regular drinking, such as daily heavy drinking or repeated heavy binge drinking, increases the likelihood of FASD.

Timing:
The stage of pregnancy when alcohol is consumed can impact the developing brain and facial features.

Individual Factors:
Factors like the mother's and baby's ability to metabolize alcohol can also influence the effects.

Why Avoid Alcohol?
No Known Safe Level:
Scientific and medical organizations agree that there is no known safe amount of alcohol to drink during pregnancy.

Potential for Harm:
Even low levels of alcohol can potentially affect learning and behavior in a child, although these effects are not always apparent.

Risk Before Pregnancy is Known:
A woman may be at risk before she even knows she is pregnant, making it important to stop drinking alcohol before trying to conceive.

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 22:13

MidnightPatrol · 17/09/2025 21:51

FASD cannot occur due to exposure to any amount of alcohol. There is no risk of FASD from having one drink.

Children with FASD have typically been exposed to extensive alcohol use / binge drinking.

I’m no great advocate of drinking with any frequency (or any significant amount) in pregnancy - but to claim your child might develop FASD from having one glass of wine is just incorrect and fearmongering.

.

Drinking in pregnancy
Mrsmouse71 · 17/09/2025 22:15

Bec1968 · 17/09/2025 22:10

It is not incorrect ... and i am not fearmongering .. these are facts .. if you google any information about drinking during pregnancy they will all tell you that even ONE drink can cause FASD ... all be it might be milder than if you binge drinking or are and alcoholic, but it CAN effect an unborn child. It doesn't always, but it CAN ..

Quote:
There is no safe amount of alcohol consumption during pregnancy because any amount can cause Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). The risk and severity of FASD increase with the amount, frequency, and timing of alcohol exposure during pregnancy. While heavy and regular binge drinking carries the greatest risk, even light or moderate drinking can have negative effects on a developing fetus. Therefore, the safest approach is to avoid all alcohol consumption throughout pregnancy.

Key Factors Influencing Risk
Quantity:
The more alcohol consumed per occasion, the higher the risk.

Frequency:
Regular drinking, such as daily heavy drinking or repeated heavy binge drinking, increases the likelihood of FASD.

Timing:
The stage of pregnancy when alcohol is consumed can impact the developing brain and facial features.

Individual Factors:
Factors like the mother's and baby's ability to metabolize alcohol can also influence the effects.

Why Avoid Alcohol?
No Known Safe Level:
Scientific and medical organizations agree that there is no known safe amount of alcohol to drink during pregnancy.

Potential for Harm:
Even low levels of alcohol can potentially affect learning and behavior in a child, although these effects are not always apparent.

Risk Before Pregnancy is Known:
A woman may be at risk before she even knows she is pregnant, making it important to stop drinking alcohol before trying to conceive.

Do you have a source for this other than google?