Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking in pregnancy

141 replies

Overitmum · 16/09/2025 11:45

Going to start by making it clear I didn’t drink. I was at a family event over the weekend and kept having people ask me do I miss drinking since I’m 6 months pregnant, or I got the I bet you can’t wait for a good drink comments. I was never a big drinker before so it’s not bothering me at all. There was another mum to be at this party and she was drinking a glass of wine so it made people ask me did I want one to even sip over. I just kept repeating I was happy enough with my orange juice then I had people admit they would have had a sneaky drink when they were expecting. Aibu to think you can not drink during pregnancy. It’s got me thinking how many women actually have a drink when pregnant but think it’s fine because they are not getting drunk, it honestly shocked me the amount of women who openly admitted at this party to having a drink when pregnant. Surly in this day and age with all the information we have on the dangers of drinking when pregnant it would make you think twice.

OP posts:
Isobel201 · 16/09/2025 13:19

I don't drink alcohol because it doesn't really agree with me - gives me a bad headache even before the pleasurable effects start, and now I'm on Dmard medication for arthritis its not worth trying. I have some bucks fizz at Christmas and that's it really. If anyone was to pressure me into drinking, they'll get a flat no from me.

Sagedragon · 16/09/2025 13:21

When I was pregnant with my eldest, the guideline was 'moderation' and I had 1 drink on a couple of occasions. When I had my youngest the guideline was zero drinking, so I didn't drink once I found out I was pregnant (did get drunk the week before though 😬).

mynameiscalypso · 16/09/2025 13:26

I read the research (the Emily Oster book is great) and made my own decisions. I had a couple of glasses of champagne in my pregnancy at various points and I was very comfortable with my decision. I understand why the guidelines are as they are, for all the reasons people have articulated, but they are not based in firm and robust scientific evidence of the actual harm.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 16/09/2025 13:29

I didn't drink any alcohol at all during both my pregnancies and I would judge someone with a pregnant belly drinking alcohol. Why, just why do you need to?
Ps
I do like a drink

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/09/2025 13:29

Read the book ‘expecting better’ a small glass of wine is absolutely fine.

x2boys · 16/09/2025 13:36

FrenchandSaunders · 16/09/2025 12:16

My kids are mid 20s now and the advice when I was pregnant was one or two small glasses once or twice a week.

I believe the guidance has changed because a lot of people aren't able to judge how little this means ... so it's easier to have a blanket ban which everyone understands.

Agreed my oldest is nearly 19 and the advice was the same
The issue is that one person's occasionsl drinking is another person's moderate drinking ,and people under estimate how much they drink, so it's better to say there is no safe level of drinking.

Milliemoons · 16/09/2025 13:41

My only pregnancy craving was red wine but I never caved! It smelled amazing though. I worked part time behind a bar while pregnant and it was torture!

Moveoverdarlin · 16/09/2025 13:44

Wouldn’t touch a drop during pregnancy if you paid me. It’s just not that important to me.

I had IVF and a nurse said to me after we got a positive test ‘We’re not here to tell you what to do, but don’t do anything that you think you would later blame yourself for if things went wrong’. That was enough for me. So no booze, no caffeine, I followed all the advice to the letter.

Thechaseison71 · 16/09/2025 13:45

x2boys · 16/09/2025 13:36

Agreed my oldest is nearly 19 and the advice was the same
The issue is that one person's occasionsl drinking is another person's moderate drinking ,and people under estimate how much they drink, so it's better to say there is no safe level of drinking.

Show quote history

So it's treating everyone as the lowest common denominator

RainFlowerRowan · 16/09/2025 13:51

Like PP my DC is mid-20s and I had one or two small glasses of wine on occasion, no ill-effects. I don’t think anyone should feel pressured into drinking during pregnancy though. My mother was told by a GP to carry on smoking during pregnancy in the 70s and that probably did more harm.

Growlybear83 · 16/09/2025 13:58

I think everyone I knew had an odd drink when they were pregnant. At one time doctors used to recommend that pregnant women should have a drink to avoid premature labour, and it’s been less than 20 years since the NHS advice changed to recommend that women should avoid alcohol during pregnancy. The evidence that an occasional drink is damaging is very weak.

mathanxiety · 16/09/2025 14:04

Fourfurrymonsters · 16/09/2025 11:49

I think the UK as a whole has a very unhealthy, chronic, endemic issue with alcohol which few people are willing to admit.

Agree.

mathanxiety · 16/09/2025 14:07

Thechaseison71 · 16/09/2025 13:45

So it's treating everyone as the lowest common denominator

Show quote history

That's a loaded phrase, implying there's something amiss with the idea of not drinking

How would you classify messaging on heroin? After all, there are people who get away with that.

If someone can't last nine months without alcohol, there's something wrong.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 16/09/2025 14:08

I poured myself one glass of red wine every week when I was pregnant... like a Friday night chill out ritual with DP - most of the time I didn't end up drinking it!

MimiGC · 16/09/2025 14:14

It was my midwife (23 years ago) who , when I told her I wasn’t drinking at all during the pregnancy, said oh it’s fine to have a few, just don’t go overboard. I ignored her then and would again now.

Pearlsanddiamondz · 16/09/2025 14:21

I didn’t personally drink in my pregnancy. 1) because I was always told it’s best not to and 2) I had a pregnancy loss of twins before falling pregnant with my son and did absolutely everything by the books as the whole pregnancy was an anxious one.

I don’t think I would judge anyone for having the odd glass of wine in their pregnancy, to be honest. I wouldn’t think anything if a friend told me she had a sneaky glass of Prosecco on her birthday or Christmas Day whilst pregnant.

I would probably raise my eyebrows if I knew someone was regularly drinking or having multiple glasses at once if I’m honest.

MotherhoodIsHaaaard · 16/09/2025 14:27

Chill.

If you actually read any of these resources you mention, you will notice that no one got FASD from a glass of prosecco.

Theawkwardturtle · 16/09/2025 14:28

YABU for judging other pregnant women when I doubt you have personally assessed the risks or know how much they are drinking. Obviously choosing not to drink yourself is fine and reasonable. I chose to have the occasional half glass of wine during both my pregnancies, I’m a doctor and well aware of the risk (or lack of risk) as the case may be so was completely comfortable in my decision. It’s not that I couldn’t go without for 9 months; I easily could have but I was also comfortable there was zero benefit to my baby in doing so. I did IVF and my IVF doctor also told me there is no reason to stop drinking during IVF. Women who never touched a drop of alcohol or coffee or whatever tend to get all up on their high horse over issues like this but there is absolutely no evidence that babies born in this generation are healthier than in previous generations where our parents had a glass of wine a week during pregnancy, drank a lot of coffee and were generally far less anxious than we tend to be currently.

Tigerthatcameforbrunch · 16/09/2025 14:30

You do you. Leave other women to themselves. Aren't people judged enough without you adding to the mix.

Katemax82 · 16/09/2025 19:05

I had a large glass of prosecco Christmas eve last year while 6 months pregnant..I didn't finish it as I felt guilty. Even now it takes me all afternoon to drink 1 glass of wine

Thechaseison71 · 16/09/2025 22:05

mathanxiety · 16/09/2025 14:07

That's a loaded phrase, implying there's something amiss with the idea of not drinking

How would you classify messaging on heroin? After all, there are people who get away with that.

If someone can't last nine months without alcohol, there's something wrong.

Show quote history

Well it's suggesting that people are too stupid to know the difference between an odd glass of wine or out on the lash every weekend

And is it nine months? Through pregnancy then the puritans will say not while breastfeeding so could be another year on top? Obviously you don't trust a woman to have a small drink once in a while and be sensible about it

If its so bad then why don't we have generations of alcohol damaged children?

I know nothing about effects on taking heroin during pregnancy except babies can be born addicted so can't comment on that

JJMama · 17/09/2025 17:53

I’m with you OP. I remember same situation when I was pregnant, and thinking people really can’t stop for 9 months?! I love a g&t or glass of wine, but no way was I going to risk any harm to my unborn baby! Not worth it when I have the entire rest of my life to imbibe!

MidnightPatrol · 17/09/2025 18:02

mathanxiety · 16/09/2025 14:07

That's a loaded phrase, implying there's something amiss with the idea of not drinking

How would you classify messaging on heroin? After all, there are people who get away with that.

If someone can't last nine months without alcohol, there's something wrong.

Show quote history

So have one drink in a nine month period and you’ve got an issue with alcohol?

youalright · 17/09/2025 18:04

I drank on occasion during all my pregnancies not more then 1 and no spirits but I had a small glass of wine or half a lager occasionally. If your not bothered then great don't drink but I enjoy a drink so an occasional small drink was a good compromise