Drinking in pregnancy

[Overitmum]

Going to start by making it clear I didn’t drink. I was at a family event over the weekend and kept having people ask me do I miss drinking since I’m 6 months pregnant, or I got the I bet you can’t wait for a good drink comments. I was never a big drinker before so it’s not bothering me at all. There was another mum to be at this party and she was drinking a glass of wine so it made people ask me did I want one to even sip over. I just kept repeating I was happy enough with my orange juice then I had people admit they would have had a sneaky drink when they were expecting. Aibu to think you can not drink during pregnancy. It’s got me thinking how many women actually have a drink when pregnant but think it’s fine because they are not getting drunk, it honestly shocked me the amount of women who openly admitted at this party to having a drink when pregnant. Surly in this day and age with all the information we have on the dangers of drinking when pregnant it would make you think twice.

Honestly I think its quite sad for anyone to be unable to just not drink alcohol for a while.

I had gastric surgery and was advised to avoid alcohol. The way people carried on was ridiculous. Like it was completely inconceivable that I'd just be alright avoiding it for a bit.

I don’t really understand how the public health messaging has gone from ‘1-2 glasses a week is ok’ 20 years ago, to so many women today being convinced if they so much as look at a flute of champagne during the entire length of their pregnancy, their baby is at risk of FASD.

Do whatever suits you best, I’ve never really fancied drinking during my pregnancies - but I find the scientific illiteracy of people thinking it’s a huge health hazard to have had the odd drink across the entire length of a pregnancy a bit frustrating.

And of course then the judgement that follows - that women are neglectful or alcoholics because they had a glass of something at Christmas.

I think there is a lot of scaremongering in women and that “we can’t be trusted” with our own bodies and limits hence this no alcohol rule. Alcohol as a rule is not good for you but one glass when you’re in your second or third trimester won’t do anything. It’s about balance. I’m 20 weeks and have had a few glasses of Prosecco in total. I had half a glass of fizz on Saturday and feel no guilt - had I drank a whole bottle and then had a Bloody Mary the next am… different story.

Meh…

I really dislike the heavy drinking culture of the UK and barely drink these days. I barely drank during my pregnancy.

But I think this is over the top. The reality is that until fairly recently most women drank substantially more than they do now. The data on this is much more grey than the guidelines suggest and the idea that a single unit of alcohol consumed at a wedding or equivalent is going to do serious harm is frankly ridiculous.

Agreed.

I find the policing of pregnant women to be very sinister.

Why is it quite sad for a woman to enjoy a solitary alcoholic drink because she enjoys it / wants to participate if eg at a wedding?

I don’t see the tragedy.

I didn't say a woman. I said anyone. And i stand by it. Anyone who can't just not have alcohol is a bit sad. Why do you need booze to participate? I enjoy a drink, but quite often don't drink because I'm driving or because I have caring responsibilities.

It’s fine to have an odd drink in pregnancy. The rule is none, because people don’t know what 1 unit is, so easier to advise to abstain. I measured 125ml of wine a week and enjoyed that. I don’t drink much these days but back then I did miss a few wines on the weekend, but only ever had one. My french friend had a glass of wine or more sometimes every evening with dinner and didn’t understand why the UK recommended none. Not sure what France recommend but she took a sensible approach and all was fine.

It’s fine to have a small drink when pregnant, every so often. It won’t harm the foetus.

The problem is that people tend to be poor judges of what constitutes a “small drink”. Hence the NHS advice.

…? but if she’s pregnant, we can assume it’s going to be a woman… given you know… the pregnancy.

Someone having one drink isn’t having it ‘because they need alcohol’ - one drink won’t have an effect on them.

Believe it or not some people enjoy the taste of alcoholic drinks, and therefore might choose to drink one.

By your logic everyone who’s ever has a drink is a bit sad for not abstaining.

I didn’t drink during either pregnancy but I would never say anything to a pregnant woman that was. Most of my friends at most would sit holding one drink but probably never finish it, a lot didn’t drink at all. I wouldn’t judge them. I would judge someone getting tipsy though but would never share that.

What I did find more surprising is that I avoided paracetamol throughout both pregnancies due to multiple studies stating its risks and yet no-one I spoke to seemed to know that and most thought paracetamol was fine in pregnancy. I had bad sciatica but muddled through but was offered it loads.

I still didn't say women. I even gave another example of when it isn't medically advisable to drink, and the example could apply to men or women.

If someone couldn't abstain for a higher purpose then yes I'd say they were pretty sad. I feel the same about all the other stuff you're not meant to have.

But there is no ‘higher purpose’ - one drink isn’t going to impact the baby.

Abstaining 100% throughout pregnancy, even down to one solitary drink, isn’t abstaining ‘for a higher purpose’ as there’s no scientific evidence that single drink is going to impact the pregnancy.

People can just have a drink because they fancy a drink, having one doesn’t mean they have some kind of issue with alcohol or can’t restrain themselves.

Alcohol causes problems in a delevoping baby when drank in excess. The problem is exactly how much is the tipping point is impossible to say and of course doing any research/trials on this would be very unethical so it’s easier and safer to say no alcohol. But realistically a single glass of wine a few times over the 9 months is absolutely not going to cause Fetal alcohol syndrome. I wouldn’t give a pregnant women having a wine at an event a second thought, if she was dancing on the tables pissed it may raise an eyebrow. I myself didn’t drink at all but that’s because unless I’m going to get a little bit tipsy I’d rather just have a soft drink.

I agree with you OP, don’t think you should drink at all while pregnant.

I heard a friend of a friend say at her wedding, the pregnant bride said she was gonna have one Prosecco because she could and I was like “but why, why have one when you could have none”

i’m sure I recently read an article who drank a small amount during her pregnancy and her child was diagnosed with FAS.

I do know of lots of people who drunk while pregnant though so it is very common

@Overitmum l’d suggest not starting to criticise how other mums/mums to be do things right now… It won’t serve you well.

The number of people who get absolutely shit faced without knowing they’re pregnant is pretty high.

The odd glass of wine here and there is also not going to do anything to harm the baby.

I simply didn’t drink during pregnancy, but I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass if anyone else does! On the assumption you’re not planning to march over and read a mum to be the riot act for drinking a glass of wine, why would you waste your time caring about this?

I drank maybe five glasses of wine throughout my pregnancy mostly at events like weddings and birthdays. But my friendship group includes a good few doctors and they all say there’s no issue having the off glass of wine at all. I don’t think about it whether other people do or not 🤷‍♀️

I'm sure a bit is fine but I never did, simply because I didn't feel the burning need to have half a glass of wine with a meal or whatever. Easier just not to. I did break most of the food rules though because many are misconstrued/overstated.

It's not just about the alcohol, is it? It's also not being able to have paracetamol or ibuprofen or decongestants or coffee. And if you wanna be strict, soft cheese and charcuterie and sushi etc etc.

And make no mistake OP - that glass of wine will not be enjoyable for YEARS after you have that baby. You won't regularly sleep 8 hours for at least 6-9 months, if you are extremely lucky, usually more like 12-18 months.

And really you should not have any alcohol in the first 6 months while you are exclusively breastfeeding. Or are you choosing not to breastfeed? Because if not, I hope you're ready for the almighty of judgments if breastfeeding is something you either fail at or choose not to do.

Enjoy one last glass of wine in peace. And try to be less judgmental, for your own sake.

I had half a bottle of Lambrini when I was 9 months pregnant with dd1, and 1 bottle of Stella at 6 months with dd2. Both were fine.

A small amount of alcohol isn't going to harm the baby. Regularly drinking, or heavy drinking, obviously will.

Well I was beyond 3 months pregnant when I found out so I had drunk a lot of alcohol whilst pregnant! I stopped as soon as I knew and was mortified but the midwife said actually the odd drink whilst pregnant won't cause harm but the reason they say nothing is because people will interpret being allowed something as being lots in some cases.
So as much as I didnt drink once I knew I also wouldn't judge someone having a glass of wine at an event

But if you know the odd glass in pregnancy makes no difference why does it matter when it is? I had a small glass of champagne at Christmas when pregnant but I can go weeks without drinking now I've had the baby without any particular reason. Very mild drinking whilst pregnant is just an informed choice not the symptom of a raging addiction

Didn't drink at all as soon as I found out I was pregnant, and still teetotal 6 months on from having her as we co-sleep. During pregnancy it just isn't worth the risk.

The UK has one of the highest rated of women drinking during pregnancy and FASD is likely significantly under diagnosed or mislabelled as ADHD, attachment concerns etc. Having worked with children in mental health services, I would never take the risk and I appreciate some people do and it works out okay for them, but why take the chance knowing the potential impact?

This is true of most medical advice!

They have to put out advice that works for women of different heights, weights, medical histories and risk profiles.

Same goes for children's health advice - salt intake, for example. Nothing magic happens at age 1, 5, etc, and the scientific calculated limits aren't all going to sit exactly on the gram. They have to choose a guideline that is easy to understand, and that is safe in the very vast majority of cases, knowing that some people will go a bit over, but not much.