My old job have sent my new job a reference request, but I haven’t applied there

[InAWorkQuandry]

posting in AIBU for traffic because wtf do I do?!

I left my old job about a month and a half ago. It wasn’t under brilliant circumstances. They were desperate for me to stay, I wanted to leave. My old boss still contacts me regularly to ask if I regret the move and if I’d like to come back.

My new boss came up to me today and said she was sorry to hear I was leaving as she thought I’d settled in well. I was extremely confused because I’ve not applied anywhere else. I love my new job and want to stay there.

it turns out my old job have sent a reference request to my new job. I have reassured my manager that I’m very happy and not planning on leaving, and she’s going to ignore it. But wtf??? What do I do?? My old job have made it clear that “the door is always open”, meaning they basically want me back. I think their aim was that I’d end up leaving this new job and go back to them. But obviously that’s not what I want.

how the hell do I deal with this?!

No need for drama, email your old boss, make it clear you're happy in your new role a d not looking to return.
No drama. Just facts.

They know this though. I’ve been telling my old boss this for the last six weeks. They’re still trying to tempt me back.

What odd behaviour.

I would email, politely, asking why they have requested a reference as you’ve not given permission for them to seek references.

Contact HR at your old place?
Put it in writing.

I don’t think OP is advocating drama. It’s extremely odd behaviour though isn’t it?

OP I agree all you can do is a polite email. How creepy though.

This. Get it on record.

Why would they ask for references if they already know you and want you back?

I think to try and get me out of my new job. It’s very much a case of they wanted to keep me (and would do everything besides put together a good offer!). I think they’re hoping for it to become so awkward I leave, and then am in a position where I go back

I thought her language was dramatic.
"How the hell" "WTF" etc

Isn't this a breach of GDPR? They have kept and used your details for no legitimate reason.

Could it have been an error that they’ve read something and done the opposite?

That’s appalling behaviour and very manipulative. I think I’d actually speak to a solicitor and get them to send a cease and desist.

I have emailed HR.

@FurForksSakethe constant contact from my old boss makes me think it isn’t an error.

HR & Subject access report request. This is outrageous.

Sadly a cease and desist isn’t really a thing in the UK, I could send a letter before action but I’d need a solid cause of action

Are they known for being a bit bonkers? What an odd way to go about things, who would even think that up?

Then I would send a final email and make it clear that you will take legal action for harassment if it, or anything similar, happens again.

Could it be an error? Presumably your new job sent your old job a reference request, so couldn't it just be a mix up?

Can't you just block your old boss on all forms of communication?

Absolutely batshit behaviour.

they have a reputation as being a pretty poor employer. I think from their perspective they saw me as calling their bluff when I handed my notice in. Then I actually left and they’re not happy.

A cease and desist letter is a thing in the UK. I would absolutely be sending them a letter setting out in very clear terms that they have fucked up from a data perspective and that if they continue to interfere with your employment and cause you loss you will be taking action. Their behaviour is outrageous!

There is really no need to be paying for solicitors letters. Speak to HR, block the manager and then next steps are complaints and potentially police. You shouldn’t be the one forking out £400 for cain and able llp to send a letter that isn’t enforceable to them!

You always get one stupid poster.

Agree.
It's bordering on harassment.

Email your old company both boss and HR and the new one at the same time, ie BCC in the new company and inform your boss that they are in breach of GDPR requesting references that you have not given them permission to seek.

If they keep it up you will view it as harassment and assume they are attempting to blacken your name with your new employer/damage your position within the new company

. You are very happy in your new job and will not be going back to A company under any circumstances and you give B company every permission to delete any requests from your old employer and to please come ask you before giving out any information to them at all.