Page 7 | Angry my manager has taken away WFH perk?

ZaHaK · 2025-09-15T00:09:21+00:00

Am I unreasonable to be angry that my manager has taken away my wfh perk whilst I’m on maternity? I have put in a proposed flexible work plan. I used to do Tuesday - Thursday on site and Friday morning at home. I requested to do less hours so I can drop the kids off to school and pick them up and keep my wfh Friday morning hours. He’s rejected it and basically cornered me into just doing Tuesday- Thursday on site but I don’t want to reduce my hours too much so I’ve had to add an hour in the morning which means rushing my kids to breakfast club and nursery. I am annoyed because on my last maternity 6 years ago, I applied for another job in another department which guaranteed wfh and my manager promised me more flexibility and wfh when I able to to keep me in his team. But I feel like he’s used this maternity as an excuse to take it away from me. It’s not in my contract, it was an agreement between me and him. What would you do? I feel like emailing him to say I am disappointed in him. Not many of our team like him but I used to rate him quite highly on the surveys etc because he always let me be. But I am really disappointed. I should have gone to the other team.

Original poster

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 10:14

pinkdelight · 15/09/2025 10:08

Just checked back re. longstanding arrangement - the OP started off saying this 'perk' had been in place for 6 years, but in a later post she says:

i used to do
7:45 - 3:30 Tuesday to Thursday
2 years ago, I asked for a pay rise, it got denied but he said he will increase my hours, I said okay but only if I can do it from home.

So the Friday wfh isn't a 6 year-long arrangement, it's only been since 2 years ago, a chunk of which is mat leave. Not saying this invalidates her wish to keep it, but it's not quite the longstanding arrangement some have taken it to be and the deal made with the manager when OP considered the other job 6 years ago has since been modified with this wfh negotiation. So it's really not about a 6 year long set-up. Things have changed in that time off the back of OP's requests and are changing again now off the back of her requests. Wanting her in the office for already short days Tues-Thurs seems reasonable, and cutting the wfh hours (which OP already proposed halving) makes more sense for the business than whittling one of the office days down to a 2.30 finish.

Sorry, that was a typo.
i have been doing the job for 6 years ( i have been with the company for 15 years). I was able to work from home during the week if I had enough work to do so in my 3 days a work week.

I asked for a pay rise 4-5 years ago (can’t remember exactly when) and got denied and was allowed to have 4 extra hours on a Friday that meant I could wfh.

OP posts:

Facecloth · 15/09/2025 10:16

Stop being accommodating.
Stop helping them out.
Start looking for another job.

Get your contract out and start working to it only.
Be a lot less obliging.
Keep note of every time you are being imposed upon.

Whatafustercluck · 15/09/2025 10:18

Labamba78 · 15/09/2025 08:19

But he’s agreeing to her request to reduce her hours though?! It’s just that this can clearly only be accommodated by dropping the Friday half day, rather than on Tuesday - Thursday, which is likely perfectly reasonable from a business point of view!
OP is the one asking to reduce her hours! If she wants to keep the Friday WFH she probably can if she returns to the same arrangement as before her mat leave.

Show quote history

The point remains. It's an unofficial arrangement currently, and needs to be formalised one way or the other. The op has no 'right to anything at present.

Whatafustercluck · 15/09/2025 10:19

Rosscameasdoody · 15/09/2025 09:13

He has got a very good reason to deny it. He’s not obliged to accommodate OP’s childcare needs, his remit is to consider her request for reduced hours within the context of the operational needs of the business. If OP is needed in the office Tuesday to Thursday, then it makes perfect business sense to accommodate her request in a way that has the least impact on the business, which is to cut the hours worked from home. OP has what she said she wanted. Nothing has changed except that she no longer works Fridays.

Show quote history

Then the application will be rejected. My point is that there's a process for this, and at present it's not formalised.

Swiftie1878 · 15/09/2025 10:21

Facecloth · 15/09/2025 10:16

Stop being accommodating.
Stop helping them out.
Start looking for another job.

Get your contract out and start working to it only.
Be a lot less obliging.
Keep note of every time you are being imposed upon.

Sure, this is a valid option…
if you want to be an arse to a company you’ve worked for for 15 years and has been supportive and flexible over that whole time, but is now putting its needs in the mix when considering another flexible working request.

Worktillate · 15/09/2025 10:25

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 08:53

i used to do
7:45 - 3:30 Tuesday to Thursday
2 years ago, I asked for a pay rise, it got denied but he said he will increase my hours, I said okay but only if I can do it from home. He agreed. I was always allowed to work from home during the week if I had enough work. This “perk” was carried on from my predecessor who also had this perk and retired. so I did overall 26 hours (4 hours on Friday wfh)

I have asked to do 22 hours now:
8:30 - 3:30
8:30 - 2:30
8:30 - 4:30
9 - 11:30 (wfh)

The above got rejected saying we need more on site from me. However, the job itself is based on workload which is like a rollercoaster. Some times it’s busy, sometimes it’s not. I will be more than capable of doing the work as the team itself has reduced its headcount by 1 full time person.

i used to do 22 hours in a team of 5 people, it got upped tp 26 hours and I’ve asked to do 22 hours on the basis that they’ve also lost a head count. He didn’t reject the reduction in hours but the wfh and saying I need to come in on Friday. But why would I want to go in for 2 hours?!

The above allowed me to pick the kids up from school Tuesday and Thursday and drop them off.

However to keep 22 hours, and not go in for 2 hours on a Friday, I might have to request an addition 30 minutes a day Tuesday to Thursday.

Edited

So, have you been WFH for 6 years or two years? I'm confused

SirBasil · 15/09/2025 10:28

if they made the offer during your last ML in writing, and it was open ended, point that out.

Look for new jobs, and/or look for different positions within your company.

Breakfast clubs aren't the end of the world. Hundreds and thousands of us have had to manage, and you will too. Having said that, your DH also needs to come up with some solutions too, it shouldn't all be on you - yes, he did the last 3 years. That is not an extra lovely add-on. It is being a father.

But. Your position sounds strong. Why not make a counter offer? poinit out all the facts of your last years work, that WFH was in place of a pay rise etc. And next time get it all in writing and added to your contract.

pinkdelight · 15/09/2025 10:28

Swiftie1878 · 15/09/2025 10:21

Sure, this is a valid option…
if you want to be an arse to a company you’ve worked for for 15 years and has been supportive and flexible over that whole time, but is now putting its needs in the mix when considering another flexible working request.

Show quote history

Agree with this. Same as when OP said she's expected to get co out of the 'predicament' that the person covering her role got them into. Well, if that's your job, then that's what you do in your working hours. It's not doing them a favour.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/09/2025 10:35

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 09:23

Why is childcare not seen as a good reason to change the hours? Who do people expect to pick up and drop off children?? I don’t understand? I was being honest.
My hours have to change because I now have to factor in picking up and dropping off my baby which is in a different location to my eldest schools.
Otherwise I would have kept what I had.

Should I have not used that as a reason? As I had to give a reason based on the government website.

Show quote history

It would be a good reason to wish to change the hours, OP - at least from your POV - but not necessarily from the POV of an employer who's already allowing you arrangements which others don't get

I realise you said this wouldn't apply to you, but you also asked why people "were allowed" to mention suspicions that WFH can end up with DCs being cared for at the same time, rather than childcare being organised as agreed

As many employers will attest, it's called experience ...

Worktillate · 15/09/2025 10:35

@ZaHaK

Can you just clarify for me to see if I'm understanding this right.

Up until 2 years ago, you worked Tue-Thur covering 22 hours.
You asked for a payrise and were offered more hours instead, which you requested WFH.
You have now asked for fewer hours so boss has said fine, drop the additional hours from the Friday which are WFH
This isn't the schedule you wanted, which you have posted, which reduces hours across all of your 4 working days

From a business point of view, it would make the most sense to drop the 'additional' hours you received, reverting to the previous state.

If my understanding is correct, then the 6 years is a bit of a red herring, as it isn't 6 years for you. If I have misunderstood, I apologise

Original poster

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 10:42

2 hours was a typo everyone!

I’ve worked in the job for 6 years.
Originally I used to do Tuesday to Thursday with WFH allowed as and when I had enough to do as I was allowed to have the same arrangements as my predecessor ( I applied for another position at another team who worked from home so they used this go get me to stay).

4-5 years ago, I asked for a pay rise but got rejected but was allowed to ask for more hours. I agreed on the basis that my extra hours would be on a Friday morning and WFH. Manager agreed verbally (he hates people wfh in his other teams even though he does it himself).

So I have been doing Tuesday - Thursday on site with occasional WFH and Friday morning WFH.

OP posts:

Original poster

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 10:44

My manager has agreed for me to go 22 hours over Tuesday- Thursday this morning. So basically wants to give up my Friday wfh.

Ive been the only one who has young children for years (no one has got pregnant in between the 6 years I had my two and no one got pregnant in the 9 years since I started - it’s an aging workforce) but they’ve employed a lot of young people the past 2-3 years and someone is currently pregnant so I wonder if he’s thinking about it from that aspect.

I am surprised he’s not worried I might look elsewhere now. He’s has said to me in the past I am irreplaceable and an asset to his team.

But the silver lining in all this I suppose is, I get more time with my daughter and don’t have to worry about childcare on a Friday morning.

OP posts:

Worktillate · 15/09/2025 10:47

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 10:44

My manager has agreed for me to go 22 hours over Tuesday- Thursday this morning. So basically wants to give up my Friday wfh.

Ive been the only one who has young children for years (no one has got pregnant in between the 6 years I had my two and no one got pregnant in the 9 years since I started - it’s an aging workforce) but they’ve employed a lot of young people the past 2-3 years and someone is currently pregnant so I wonder if he’s thinking about it from that aspect.

I am surprised he’s not worried I might look elsewhere now. He’s has said to me in the past I am irreplaceable and an asset to his team.

But the silver lining in all this I suppose is, I get more time with my daughter and don’t have to worry about childcare on a Friday morning.

Edited

So your in office hours have never really changed, and this is what the business is wanting to maintain? The same number of hours in the office, dropping the 'extra' ones?

pinkdelight · 15/09/2025 10:47

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 10:44

My manager has agreed for me to go 22 hours over Tuesday- Thursday this morning. So basically wants to give up my Friday wfh.

Ive been the only one who has young children for years (no one has got pregnant in between the 6 years I had my two and no one got pregnant in the 9 years since I started - it’s an aging workforce) but they’ve employed a lot of young people the past 2-3 years and someone is currently pregnant so I wonder if he’s thinking about it from that aspect.

I am surprised he’s not worried I might look elsewhere now. He’s has said to me in the past I am irreplaceable and an asset to his team.

But the silver lining in all this I suppose is, I get more time with my daughter and don’t have to worry about childcare on a Friday morning.

Edited

Given that you'd proposed reducing your Friday wfh to just 9-11.30am, that seems fair enough. What would 2.5 hours wfh on a Friday benefit the business, really? You'd barely get through a coffee and a call before you're logging off. Better to have those (still shorter than most) days in the office and use wraparound care, then have your Fridays (and Mondays) off. Feels pretty flexible to me and you've got the reduction to 22 hours you wanted.

Original poster

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 10:52

pinkdelight · 15/09/2025 10:47

Given that you'd proposed reducing your Friday wfh to just 9-11.30am, that seems fair enough. What would 2.5 hours wfh on a Friday benefit the business, really? You'd barely get through a coffee and a call before you're logging off. Better to have those (still shorter than most) days in the office and use wraparound care, then have your Fridays (and Mondays) off. Feels pretty flexible to me and you've got the reduction to 22 hours you wanted.

Show quote history

I used to like to do my mundane tasks on Friday, like date inputs, plan for the week ahead etc. it was really helpful as on Thursday, as the team knew they wouldn’t see me until Tuesday, they used to bombard with work so the mundane tasks would get put back and pile up. The Friday morning really helped my start the week properly the following week without having the rest of the team talking to me.

OP posts:

nomas · 15/09/2025 11:05

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 10:52

I used to like to do my mundane tasks on Friday, like date inputs, plan for the week ahead etc. it was really helpful as on Thursday, as the team knew they wouldn’t see me until Tuesday, they used to bombard with work so the mundane tasks would get put back and pile up. The Friday morning really helped my start the week properly the following week without having the rest of the team talking to me.

Show quote history

Maybe this is the problem, they're not seeing your productivity on Fridays because you were doing the mundane stuff (which I know is important).

I think the bigger issue here is you haven't had a pay rise in 4 or 5 years!

Is this the same for everyone else or just you?

Original poster

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 11:05

Worktillate · 15/09/2025 10:47

So your in office hours have never really changed, and this is what the business is wanting to maintain? The same number of hours in the office, dropping the 'extra' ones?

Show quote history

Yes but they have lost a full time head count. So from a business perspective I have less work anyway!

OP posts:

usedtobeaylis · 15/09/2025 11:07

Appeal the decision as it doesn't sound like he's given you an actual solid reason for rejecting it especially in light of the reason for the existence of the previous flexible working agreement.

Original poster

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 11:07

nomas · 15/09/2025 11:05

Maybe this is the problem, they're not seeing your productivity on Fridays because you were doing the mundane stuff (which I know is important).

I think the bigger issue here is you haven't had a pay rise in 4 or 5 years!

Is this the same for everyone else or just you?

Show quote history

Same for everyone. I have the standard inflation one.

As it’s an aging workforce and people then to stay there years, my manager seems to think no one will leave regardless of they ask to wfh or for pay rises and he rejects them.

OP posts:

pinkdelight · 15/09/2025 11:07

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 10:52

I used to like to do my mundane tasks on Friday, like date inputs, plan for the week ahead etc. it was really helpful as on Thursday, as the team knew they wouldn’t see me until Tuesday, they used to bombard with work so the mundane tasks would get put back and pile up. The Friday morning really helped my start the week properly the following week without having the rest of the team talking to me.

Show quote history

I get that, but you wanted to reduce your hours so the nice-to-haves will get cut. Even as you put it in this post, there's issues because the team doesn't see you from Thurs till the next Tues, so the short week isn't ideal, but if you're only doing 22 hours then the planning time gets sacrificed for the hands on time.

Original poster

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 11:09

usedtobeaylis · 15/09/2025 11:07

Appeal the decision as it doesn't sound like he's given you an actual solid reason for rejecting it especially in light of the reason for the existence of the previous flexible working agreement.

I’ve come around to the idea of having an extra half a day spending with my daughter at home as apposed to sending her away to nursery or grandparents. I don’t think there’s any point in appealing as HR tends to favour the manager as they won’t actually know the business needs of the team itself.

OP posts:

Worktillate · 15/09/2025 11:10

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 11:05

Yes but they have lost a full time head count. So from a business perspective I have less work anyway!

Edited

Show quote history

And they have agreed less hours for you.

But if you're doing the planning etc, having you on site even less wouldn't be great from a business perspective

Original poster

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 11:10

pinkdelight · 15/09/2025 11:07

I get that, but you wanted to reduce your hours so the nice-to-haves will get cut. Even as you put it in this post, there's issues because the team doesn't see you from Thurs till the next Tues, so the short week isn't ideal, but if you're only doing 22 hours then the planning time gets sacrificed for the hands on time.

Edited

Show quote history

The team themselves work part time.

OP posts:

spoonbillstretford · 15/09/2025 11:11

Verbally agreed changes in working pattern, and custom and practice can become part of your employment contract.

I'd email to say the current system you agreed back in 2020 has been working very well for you for five years now and you don't agree with the proposed changes to your employment contract.

BuckChuckets · 15/09/2025 11:14

ZaHaK · 15/09/2025 08:57

Unfortunately my husband is self employed and now has to go in the office which means working away a couple of days a week. My husband has been doing the pick ups and drops off for 3 years and even on maternity whilst I got lie in etc. So he would if he could.

Edited

Show quote history

He's not self-employed if he "has to go into the office" at specific times. If he thinks he is, he needs to remind himself how HMRC class self-employment, because he could be in trouble.