Husband not enjoying being a Dad and struggling to bond

[GG300]

Hello everyone,
I am looking for advice on how to help my husband bond with our little girl.

she is 6 months old and I have taken to motherhood perfectly. I absolutely adore her and love our time together

however my husband is more vocal about ‘not feeling as he is supposed to feel’. He doesn’t particularly enjoy spending time with her and doesn’t tend to immerse himself in bath/bedtime unless I ask him to.

he feels like my daughter and I are together and he is left out. I know he wants to bond with her but he finds parenting so difficult and frustrating, whereas I find it a pleasure. this makes it harder for him because he can’t understand why I have taken to it so well and he hasn’t.

it has come to the stage now where I enjoy parenting her alone more than with my husband, as he (unintentionally) creates a more hostile environment due to increased stress

let me just end by saying, my husband is a perfect man and we have never so much as had a crossed word in our 7 years together. This is the only issue we have encountered

Did you not notice the bit about him not ‘immersing himself in bed or bathtime’ unless the OP asks him, and how when he is actually parenting he ‘creates a hostile environment’ to the point where she finds it easier not to ask? Assuming he works, and is only actually home for bath and bedtime when his baby is awake, he’s opted out of the only daily time he sees his child, and is pressuring the OP into basically handling all care for their baby.

I suggest you re read the OP….

Yep.

Are there any dads groups locally he could go to? Maybe ask your Health Visitor?

I wonder what we would do if mums weren’t enjoying it, Didn’t want to immerse themselves, creating hostility, etc

Which is basically part of the same old gendered pattern everyone here can recognise. He's not perfect at all, he's a bog standard disappointing man baby.

Ignore the rude comments that always rush to blame the men.
I know men who struggled until the child was able to interact with them (the walking/talking stage)

This is more common than spoken about; it is strange but it is common.
Therapy/activities etc will help

Have a look at Home Start 'Dad Matters' groups.