Children start school at 5, oh no they don't

[Sadworld23]

We should stop taking about children starting school in the UK at 5.
Whilst that may be the legal age, even Gov.uk says most parents send their child to reception class at 4.

This makes me sad tbh, bc our child is (generally) happy at his nursery, 7m-3y, and I can't see him being ready for school at 4y.
He's barely out of nappies and bottles and I'm already choosing a school for him. And that's without the worries of sorting wrap around childcare to make my work hours work.

I had considered holding him back but nursery are already calculating giving up his place.

YABU children don't really start school til 5y.
YANBU children start school at 4y.

Do you mean that there was no formal learning in reception. No homework? Because whilst both dc loved the play bit in the afternoon they weren’t as keen on the morning lessons which involved reading and writing which neither could do (both diagnosed with dyslexia 10 years later by which time it was too late for them to have any extra help or having different learning styles put in place)

Reception was bad enough with the homework that was impossible for them to do. When they got to year 1 it was panic stations. Teachers giving doom and gloom reports to those of us who had children who couldn’t read and write whilst dismissing concerns of dyslexia (which both dc were diagnosed with 10 years later)

The primary school dc went to was some testing site for new educational learning models.

In maths the parents could not help their dc because the way that they had to add up made no sense.
Parents were invited to a meeting to learn this new way of adding up.
The teachers themselves couldn’t show how it was done. Every sum they did was wrong

Spelling tests were also unfathomable. The actual test was writing a sentence that might not contain any word that had been learned

Both dc really wanted to love school but ended up hating it.

This sounds like a poor choice of school.more than a.wider issue. EYFS implemented well is very different to KS1 and the national.curriculum.

Maybe we have different interprétations of what Kindergarten is but maternelle is essentially about socialisation and general development in preparation for CP which is primary/elementary school. That's what my son does in a kindergarten too.

Primary school in France starts at 6 in CP. But there's mandatory pre-school (I suppose that's a better translation than kindergarten) from 3.

My DS is in age 3 clothes. Hes 4, so he’s just slightly smaller than average but not shockingly so.

I had a conversation with my daughter who is now in year 11, she's a late summer birthday and I mentioned something about deferrals and she said she would have absolutely hated being a year behind, she'd have really resented me for it.

Sorry Strawberryfields, only going on what I was told years ago by a friend of my son. She was a Finnish girl who had spent 6 years teaching juniors in the Bristol area, and had made the decision to return to Finland to teach. I am aware they do not start school until around 7 years but only hearsay on the difference at 11. Would love to see some statistics, though.

Some schools are moving to a continuous provision model in year 1, and even in year 2 - which is the 'learning from play and experience' model they use in Reception - it has been shown to acheive better results both socially and academically when used skillfully. I agree it can be a big jump, although not always due to age - my summer born found it much easier than my September born - both are bright but September child struggles more with change.

I actually think deferring makes this situation worse, if you have a deferred April born and a none deferred August born you then have a 5year 5month old in with a 4year 1 week old. I actually think this would further disadvantage the disadvantaged pupils with parents who just want rid of them to school asap.

In the UK, he started September 1983, mornings only, he was 4 at the end of October. Didn't do full days until January.

And where do they go for the rest of the day while their parents are at work?

Quite likely could be Denmark, stay at home parents aren't really a thing. Certainly by age 3, most children are in some sort of full time education/child care setting.

We're in Scotland where cut off is they have to be 4 before the end of the February before they start P1. But also past few years any child who isn't 5 by the first day of P1 can defer and gets the extra year of nursery funded. We deferred my Feb born son and it was brilliant for him. He was school ready as in toilet trained from 2, could do his own jacket change his clothes, articulate, social, very academically able but he physically couldn't sit down and emotionally really struggled with change etc. so we deferred. He's now on referral pathways for autism and ADHD. Which is definitely appropriate although unsure if it'll lead to diagnosis or which type as they're always changing and there's so much overlap but basically he's much more in line with the kids 6-12 months younger than he would have been with those 6-12 months older.

My daughter is July born so turned 4 this year and will be 5 before starting, if I'm being honest I wouldn't have a moments concern about sending her to school. She loves books, letters, very self sufficient in self care type tasks, confident with her peers and manages her emotions really well, can hold back an upset to tell me about later in the day and problem solved for herself in the moment, can self regulate by taking deep breaths and will happily ask a teacher for help if upset. That said my husband pointed out she's still benefiting from this last year of nursery because she's playing outside, she's got more rest time, nursery staffing levels, more choice of how she spends her time in her day and constant access to a garden to get lots of physical activity every day.

Sorry for long stories but on balance I think sending 4 yr olds to school isn't in most of their best interests. It's a massive effort to get enough physical activity in my son's day to help him regulate, think walking to and from school, park or trampolining or softplay for 2 hours after school and a dog walk before bed. We prioritise movement over homework because he can then engage in school because he's more balanced and his teachers thankfully support that. Kids should be moving more in their day.

If you're lucky to their grannies, if not then to a cobbled together mash up of childminders or after school clubs. It's a terrible system where being a working mother feels almost impossible. P1 and P2 finish at 2pm and nursery finishes at 12. So my sister collects a child at 12, another at 2 and another at 3 on her days off. On the days she works eldest goes to after school, middle to grandad because he's got additional support needs and youngest is picked up by a childminder.

It's having the opportunity to defer based on each individual child that helps. My son's best friend is a full year younger than him, genuinely almost a foot shorter and they operate on almost exactly the same wavelength. Been best friends since they were 2 and 3 at nursery.

When I took my son to his settling in sessions at 5 he hid behind my legs and required a lot of encouragement to join in, while my 2 yr old daughter walked up to the teacher and said 'scuse me, can I do the colouring sheets?' and sat herself down with crayons. Is be quite happy sending her now at 4, wouldn't matter a jot if the other kids were a year older. But in Scotland she gets the extra time as cut off is February. She definitely benefits too from the extra nursery year so I think it's better having a later start for all and referral available.

Sounds a nightmare. Was bad enough the few weeks ds was on half days when starting reception. My lunchbreak involved collecting him from school at 12 and driving him the 5 miles to nursery for afternoon session until 5,30. Luckily nursery saved him a lunch

I have one who had their birthday at the beginning of September and another at the end of August. I will say of the two my August born was much more ready for school than my stepember born, but I do understand that it can be really hard on kids who are young in the year:

Similar in Finland. My 1st grade finishes at 12 every day, except Tuesdays when he finishes at 1. The days will get longer during primary but even in the last year there can be days they finish at 12 or 1 as some days are longer and others shorter. 1st and 2nd graders can go to afterschool club but after that they're on their own unless there's local grandparents or out of school clubs they can go to but they'll have to make their own way to the clubs.

i have found it’s common there for one or both parents to stay at home or work flexibly. There are after school clubs and Nannies but it’s not as common as over here.

It’s the kids that don’t go to nursery that are the ones that have trouble settling in usually…the worry and problems overall tend to come from the parents.

Funnily enough no one has mentioned anything SEN, although I do wonder myself..

Sounds perfect and I have looked for something local like that but Unfortunately it's a struggle to put food on the table at the moment, private school unlikely to fit the budget.

Yes, short day creates a ton of childcare issues for me. But looking at wraparound care options. I don't really want him to have to get used to 2 new settings at once.

Not in our locality, yes a few are toilet trained but not 50%, amd many kids his age still have night bottles surprisingly when I admit it to other parents.

I had thought of it as our dirty secret but apparently it's not that uncommon at this age. I do believe he has oral sensory issues, but no one at nursery thinks this, or they haven't said.
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You'd be surprised, a lot can change in a year at this age and he may well seem more ready next September than you expect.

It is always tricky when they start school working out childcare and work hours, so when looking for a school definitely find out about the wraparound options there. I am in an area where we are in the catchment for 5 different primary schools but wraparound care was high on my list of qualities I needed from the school.

Often if you hold children back a year, they have to start in year 1 and going from nursery straight to year 1 I think would be very difficult. Reception to yr1 was a harder transition for my DD than nursery to reception. She also potty trained late at nearly 3.5 and is may born but thrived at school in reception.