Children start school at 5, oh no they don't

[Sadworld23]

We should stop taking about children starting school in the UK at 5.
Whilst that may be the legal age, even Gov.uk says most parents send their child to reception class at 4.

This makes me sad tbh, bc our child is (generally) happy at his nursery, 7m-3y, and I can't see him being ready for school at 4y.
He's barely out of nappies and bottles and I'm already choosing a school for him. And that's without the worries of sorting wrap around childcare to make my work hours work.

I had considered holding him back but nursery are already calculating giving up his place.

YABU children don't really start school til 5y.
YANBU children start school at 4y.

My dd is an August born so I kept her back for a year. She started reception age 5 and I have never regretted it

My son is 3.5. Just started a primary nursery so basically in with reception half the time. He still has milk bottles. It’s a hill he’s willing to die on and the dentist say his teeth are fine. So it’s not a hill I am dieing on.

He also still struggles with poos so is in nappy sometimes. He is on Movicol because he withholds and gets constipation otherwise.

Loads of his peer group are similar with the potty training. You are right most are off bottles.

I was worried he wasn’t ready but he’s done so well and taken to it like a duck to water.

And no he doesn’t have SEN; or atleast nothing to indicate it so far.

It's very easy for people to say "keep them back a year" but that means either starting them in year 1 where they will have missed out on a lot of learning and might struggle to settle in with the class, or you defer them and have them out of their age group which they may resent you for in their teens.

Yes they start at 4, I have three summer born kids and one born in March, they were at varying degrees of readiness when they started school and one took until about year 4 to catch up with her year group. I don't necessarily think starting school is the problem, I think it's the expectations of young children, one of mine was said to not have met the early learning goals at the end of Reception, when I asked what they were one of them was to write a sentence independently, she was still 4 when she finished reception in July, how (and why) are we expecting 4 year olds to be doing that?!

My eldest DD struggled with starting at 4, so we ended up home educating her after the first 8 months. As later DC came along, we didn't even consider starting them in school - I agree that 4 is really not for every child.

We live in a very home ed-friendly place though - our route is not an easy option for everyone.

Wow – that’s quite an assumption you’ve made there.

Mine just started year 2 (age 6-7 in England/Wales). He recently told me that he dislikes school as it “just gets worse every year” and that there are fewer toys and less playtime each year. This is true I suppose. I’ve never said anything myself to influence this kind of response from him, and I find it a bit sad that he’s picked up on this from his grand experience of life as a 6 year old. I think in general we penalise playtime too much in the U.K. FYI he started full-time school at 4.

I now worry for my 2nd who is a summer baby and so will probably feel this even more.

All those worried that their child is too young for school -stand your ground. The subject will come up again when they go to high school or university. They will be that much younger than most and a year or so can make a.big difference.

I’ve never heard anyone say that they start school at 5. They start school at 4, I’ve only ever heard it described as starting at 4 in any chat I’ve ever had on the subject. And many are more than ready and raring to go at that point. I absolutely see the benefit of longer in preschool, longer at home, and of home education. But in my actual parenting experience my DC were ready to be off to school a good year before they could go and that year was really challenging to keep them entertained and stimulated while constantly explaining to them why they couldn’t go to school. It was an expensive and draining slog of a year each time and they skipped in on their first days (and I was very glad to see them go)

Mine went to school in the US.
They did PreK 4 for 2.5 hour sessions four days a week, beginning in the August after they turned four, and started kindergarten the August after they turned five. Kindergarten was again 2.5 hours a day, but for five days a week.

They started 1st grade at age 6 and turned 7 in the school year. This was their first year of full day school, from 8 to 3, five days a week.

I think it was an ideal start to their school lives.

If the child is born April-August you don’t have to send them. My daughter (in England) is July born. I didn’t send her until she was 5.
She started reception year (some people think they then have to miss out a year which isn’t true). You have to be specific and state on the school application form that you’re applying for reception year, otherwise they be allocated a year 1 space.
I wasn’t going to miss out on a year’s free nursery and sent my child so young. Especially as she missed a lot of nursery due to covid lockdowns at the time.

I’m from Scotland and was 5.5 when I started school, so felt just turned 4 was very young. The law is it’s compulsory to be in education the term after turning 5 so that’s what I did.

Also in Ireland they finish at like 12 or 2 for the first few years of school.

Generally we say they start at 4. DS 4 2wks before he started and i’d say for a year or two he was a little behind, largely as he didn’t attend the school nursery who started phonics earlier. He did however leave secondary with highest grades in the school, and just graduated with a 1st class degree. Don’t sweat it. Reception is very play based and kids adjust.

Do we say they start at 5? I’ve never heard that. I would say they start in the September of the school year they turn 5. I’m in NI so school year is July-June. People tend to say “how old will the be when they start school then” and I say eg he’s Sept so he’ll be nearly 5. But obviously a child born in June will be 4y2m. I’ve never heard anyone claim or imply that children start school at 5 but maybe they do in England!

Reception for DD was really nice, she loved it.it’s mainly play based.

I wanted to hold my DS back but was not allowed by the school. I've just finally got agreement from the council to move him back a year. He is 15. It was ruinous going at four. We never should have done it. Well done for thinking about this.

It sounds like your child was quite late potty training and having bottles, perhaps for your child it makes sense to hold them back, but you would be holding them back from their peers. It's your choice but most children are very happy in reception at 4.

My DD in July born and started school soon after turning 4. She was 100% ready and did amazingly both at the learning side but also the social side. She would never have forgiven me if I'd held her back when all of her friends were off to school. One of her best friends is October born so a good 9 months older but my DD was in many ways more mature. I understand some kids need slower entry to formal education but not all.

SEN support where does OP say this?

Well exactly this, but not just that, I didnt take OP's comment literally that he's barely out of nappies, just that she is amazed at how quickly time has gone and now people are talking about school for him when in her eyes he's still a toddler/baby.

My DD turned 4 at the end of June, she’s just stared reception. I didn’t think was ready but she’s loving it and thriving.
As others have said, reception is basically nursery, they play 90% of the day, do painting and drawings, the only actual “lesson” they have is PE and even that’s just playing.

@Cattenberg I agree! Year 1 is a big shift. I noticed this for both my kids, one who is highly academic and the other who is average - they both struggled with the move to Year 1. Reception is really just playing in a building that happens to be a school.

Year 2 is a lot easier - although there’s a lot more focus on bums on seats, crack on with work, by now both my kids were fine with the principle.

In France they start school at 3. In Scandinavia 6/7. Before that they just go to preschool where they learn things but are not supposed to be able to sit down like In a classsroom.

Reception is still Early years. It’s still follows the nursery curriculum.

3 of my children started school as soon as they turned 3. Full time within weeks. Important socially, educationally etc.