Friend using my credit card.

[BePunnyDuck]

So I owe my friend a significant sum of money- £1300 or there abouts.

I have had a really really tight month. I’m a single parent, DD has been sick the past 2 weeks and as I am self employed I have had zero income as I have been off looking after her.

Friend messaged me yesterday to ask if it was possible if I could send her £100. I only had £80 left in my account, so I told her I would send her the money the next day as my ex was due to send me money for DD, which he didn't until this evening. I had every intention of sending the money when I got his money.

I went shopping today- only for my card to decline. I checked my online banking and my friend has used my card details and paid her phone bill with my money, meaning I couldn’t get shopping. Luckily- my Dad bailed us out.

I asked her about it and her reply was “you said you were sending me money, I had your bank details (from when we booked a holiday together a few months ago) so I used them to pay my phone bill”

AIBU to think this is wrong? I wasn’t avoiding paying her the money, it’s the fact she’s used my card without my permission…

Sounds like you have given your friend card details that you should not have. Cancel the card but don’t dispute as you have compromised your account and this may impact your ability to claim any fraudulent charges in the future. Take this as a lesson on Banking controls.

But also it’s your friend’s money and it seems that regardless of what you think you agreed she is either a) annoyed by your actions with regards to what you are spending money on or b) really needs the money now or c) is annoyed at the way you are running this business.

I’m sorry your daughter was unwell but unfortunately running your own business means having to work when you and your family members are sick. Even sadly when they are really sick… Shutting a business down for 2 weeks in early stages seems like a very long time and I expect your friend sees this too.

I know that’s a brutal statement but it’s the hard reality of business.

Taking time off although the right thing for your daughter - impacts on the business that your friend has ultimately funded in some or all part.

Pay her back and hopefully you can both reconcile

2,000 over 20 months, was a really decent loan, but late repayments will be playing with her emotions.
I'd try getting another loan, clear the 1,300 ASAP.

Absolutely wrong, not to mention illegal - just because you owe her money doesn’t give the right to use someone’s card without their knowledge or permission. Block and cancel the card and make a clear plan with paying your friend back so that you don’t have that hanging over you if at all possible. Also decide if you are going to report it to the police or at least let your so called friend know that their actions are indeed illegal, and this is something you have considered taking to the police.

I lent a friend €500, with no repayment date, she paid me 3/4 months later, I wouldn't lend money again, it played on my mind, she needed it in an emergency and I needed it to budget .
I'm glad it is over.

Especially when it’s a different IP address.

Illegal. Cancel your card immediately.
She's been very foolish - you could report her for this.
I think you need to rethink your purely self employed status, if your daughter being sick for 2 weeks means you literally have no money. Can you try to work part-time, whilst growing your business, so that you can build a little cash cushion for emergencies?
Keep up the habit of overpaying your friend whenever you can - and keep records of payments.
Obviously never allow her access to card/bank details again.
I wouldn't want her as a friend, despite her past kindness in lending the money.
I'd keep things amicable, until debt is paid, then phase out. It won't be long. Only lend from banks in future - if they won't give you a loan, it's because you can't afford it /are a bad risk. This will make you rethink your plans.

Using your card is fraud and should be reported and card cancelled but you should pay your friend back the money you owe her and never borrow again

THIS IS FRAUD!! She has committed a crime how bloody rude!! Why has she even still got your bank detail's abit weird am actually shocked I wouldn’t even use my mum’s card without asking her permission… think you need to find better friends 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

She may be right on one level, but from a legal and moral perspective it’s completely wrong. Pay her back asap and make her an ex friend, I’d never dream of doing that to anyone I’m friends with.

MLM was my immediate thought...

Oh god if it’s an MLM the op is a fool and will never make her money back.

Trying looking at it another way. Your loan has left your friend so short that she can't pay her phone bill....

I think @BePunnyDuck wanted some sympathy and didn’t get any hence why hasn’t been back

does annoy me when people don’t reply /update

assuming op is on uc as single parent , obv struggling with money and started up self employed so will get fortnightly appointments from them while business gets established

the fact whatever business it is you couldn’t work for 2w is a very long time due to sick child

2w off work is a very long time - hope child is ok but what child is ill for 2w ?

if you are literally robbing Peter to pay Paul (cm for friend) then whatever business you have isn’t going to work out earning you lots

you won’t get paid when on holiday for example as self employed - so what is the plan then to pay bills ?

When paying the phone bill the friend would almost certainly have said she was the owner of the card and used the security code on the card instead of the one time password.

All these people saying friend should be reported... friend can then call in the loan!

Personally I'd be annoyed, cancel the card but leave it at that. You owe the friend money and maybe she couldn't wait a day to pay this bill so just because you needed to wait a day for your ex to pay you, doesn't mean she has to wait a day too.

Chalk this up to experience. You should never borrow from friends, especially these kinds of sums, without a written agreement for paying back. You need to honor the agreement to the day ie pay on the day and that's that. No ifs or buts. Otherwise you risk losing the friendship. Can you get a loan from the bank or something, I'd recommend repayment in full ASAP

You don't need to tell everyone that.

What she did was wrong but you need to pay her the whole £1300 as soon as possible. Sell some stuff, ask for cash from parents for christmas, try and pick up some extra seasonal work shifts etc, but don't stay owing a friend, its a really really bad idea

This 100%

Set up a standing order to transfer the money to her on your payday. That should be your first priority. She shouldn’t be last in the pecking order. What a dreadful way to treat a friend who is indulging in what could well be your pipe dream.

You need another plan to bring home the bacon while your business is taking off. If you can work in your business at night say, look at the make a tenner a day thread for inspiration for what other things you can do. Online consumer surveys at night for one hour or whatever.

Good luck with it all and I hope it works out well. And that you still have a friend at the end of this journey as i see trouble ahead…

Presumably all money goes into a pot, and as such 'her' money has gone on their child and keeping them housed and fed. Has the dad kicked in more to help over the period the child has been ill and mum couldn't earn? Or offered to look after said child so mum could work? Am guessing not

Agreed. I often don't get MFA if it is something standard and dull like a phone bill.

what I don't understand is how her credit card was declined due to no money on the account, that's not how credit cards work. To me that would be a debit card.

It's theft.
Cancel your card.
Never, ever trust her again.

Even if this is true - I just struggle to understand why she had all of your card details, I have paid for holidays with friends and shared presents and all sorts and have never not once given away the security details of my account - then the solution is boring and simple

Get your card replaced immediately
Keep paying your friend back
Probably accept the friendship is compromised
Get on with your life.

True

unless op has reached her limit on card. Esp if only has say 200 on it

tho again with credit cards it takes usually a day or two to reach account maximum so sounds like a debit card

puzzled tbh