Page 17 | Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

WatermelonWaveclub · 2025-09-13T17:54:57+00:00

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted! The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday. How would you deal with this situation?

Ella3895 · 15/09/2025 11:12

OMG take the phones off them already!

If you’ve shelled out a boatload for this holiday but aren’t setting reasonable ground rules for it, then not a lot of sympathy for the complaints tbh.

As others have noted, this can’t really be new behaviour - did you expect they would suddenly change their stripes because they were on holiday?

And don’t they have school?

Hiptothisjive · 15/09/2025 11:24

Cherrytree86 · 15/09/2025 10:20

@Hiptothisjive

you get over jet lag in about 2 days. Even if you’re still feeling a bit rough with it , you don’t just lay in bed all day - what a waste!
perhaps they are just….lazy

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Not necessarily although kids tend to get over it quicker. I’ve flown this route over a hundred times and I have suffered zero or for 4-5 days. Yeah they may be lazy but as young people tiredness can be mitigated easier.

Needmorelego · 15/09/2025 12:19

MrsBlobby64 · 15/09/2025 09:46

Aren't they a bit old for Disneyland etc?

I've never been to any of the Disney parks but I've always thought they are theme parks that have massive rides like Alton Towers etc does.
Surely they are the perfect age for those sorts of rides?

Needmorelego · 15/09/2025 12:22

Can people not read?
None of them are enrolled in school.
They are not missing any school.
I feel like banging my head against the wall on the OPs behalf.

TorroFerney · 15/09/2025 12:46

Nayyercheekyfeckers · 13/09/2025 21:17

What on earth are you doing waiting around for them to get up. You tell them all the schedule the night before. You tell them that at 9 or 10am you will be leaving to go to ... Then you leave with whoever wants to come and is ready, having first got their own breakfast. Then some days you could return to the hotel/pool in the afternoon and join them if they didn't get up. If you wanted a full day out with your youngest, then don't feel the need to hurry back and take your youngest out for a nice early evening meal. Hand them a loaf of bread/stuff for sandwiches and let them sort themselves out. Use earplugs to get off to sleep.

But you'd have agreed and shared the schedule weeks before as surely the children would have been part of developing the schedule?

But they also have different body clocks than adults and do struggle to get out of bed. When we went we'd do half a day at the park, back for a rest / swim or whatever and then we went back at night - we were however at a hotel really near Universal so could walk in. If it is their first week of school they be slightly conflicted as they are missing out. That would have worried me as a teenager.

Soberinthecity · 15/09/2025 12:47

Vaguelyclassical · 13/09/2025 19:05

Why Florida? The older teens are obviously far too old for Disney and it's a rather flat state with some everglades full of nasty biting things; there are also rather a lot of people in unbecoming red baseball caps. Great beaches, but you didn't need to come to the States for those. (Or to swim in a hotel pool.) You might have done better with a buzzy, interesting city in the US. Or a buzzy interesting city in Europe at a third of the cost. Sorry if I sound snarky, but I'm genuinely interested in the logic here. (But I do sympathize with you--I grew up in genteel poverty and I'd have been down on my knees in gratitude if my own parents took me out of the country!)

My thoughts exactly. I didn’t mind Florida but I’d already been roughing it travelling for six months and all I wanted to do was lounge by a pool. I certainly wouldn’t have taken teenage children there! As others have said they’re teenagers; if they want to lie in bed and stare at their phone, which is what I’m assuming they do at home all day anyway, leave them to it.

Seems really late for them to be on holiday - aren’t schools back now? as for “having” to sort food for them, you don’t have to do anything; they chose to stay behind and miss out on the days’ activities which you have already paid for and it’s a hotel - there will be food available if they want it. Put some boundaries in place.

GoldOP · 15/09/2025 12:48

I think we’ve made the decision that this summer was our last holiday with our kids (17,19) at least until they’re more mature and don’t want to lie in bed half the day.
You have to just get on and do things without them, don’t wake them up, don’t give them the option of coming if they haven’t made the effort. We did this in July with our older teens and they were astounded we went off and did things without them, it seemed to make them put more effort in though.

WeWillAllGoTogether · 15/09/2025 13:02

I love MN

This thread seems to be

60% School!!!!!!!
25% Disney is illegal for humans older than <insert single-digit age>
14% Self-invented fantasies about hard-done-by teenagers being dragged against their will to destinations and activities not chosen by them
1% People who actually read the OP's posts.

PinkyFlamingo · 15/09/2025 13:10

Mademetoxic · 15/09/2025 00:00

People obviously wonder when you're away on holiday at the beginning of September with school aged and college aged teens...

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Might help if you actually read the OPs posts she's explained this numerous times...

PinkyFlamingo · 15/09/2025 13:10

WeWillAllGoTogether · 15/09/2025 13:02

I love MN

This thread seems to be

60% School!!!!!!!
25% Disney is illegal for humans older than <insert single-digit age>
14% Self-invented fantasies about hard-done-by teenagers being dragged against their will to destinations and activities not chosen by them
1% People who actually read the OP's posts.

So true 🤣🤣

Justjennb · 15/09/2025 14:31

I believe you should make them do the family stuff whether they want to or not oh well they'll thank you when they get older and I have those memories and traditions so they can pass on to their children. Whether they want to or not is not an option. Point Blank you're going to get up and you're going to go or I'm not you're not going to be peacefully sleeping then and I'm going to be uncomfortable miserable and you are also I will complain and b at you until you will do whatever it takes for me to shut up. I would make them do those family things because that is important maybe a schedule some later in the afternoon because teens are young and you are only in once they do like to stay up later so instead of doing things early planet for later in the afternoon there's lots of things you can do in the afternoon but I would make them do it because those are memories that you want to have to pass on. What day when you're not around anymore don't be glad that they did those things and that you made them do them. And laugh enjoy yourself don't sweat the small stuff it doesn't have to be perfect you waste so much time I know I did try and just to make everything a certain way and then I realize I can't remember any of you in it once I started relaxing and enjoying myself at the event and stop worrying about the little details like you know pick your battles don't sweat the small stuff life is short it goes by so quick enjoy it while you can. I have a 31-year-old a 23 year old a 21 year old and a 11 year old and I will tell you what I'm glad for all the things I've made them do and my 31 year old has said he is glad I made him do certain things. Life is short make the most out of it you never know what tomorrow will bring and who it will bring with it and who it wont

Original poster

WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 14:46

hopspot · 13/09/2025 23:03

@AliceMaforethought
How lovely of you to laugh at me. My post speaks from experience.

Your post is complete nonsense in terms of the subject of this thread. You are just derailing.

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WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 14:51

greengagesummers · 13/09/2025 23:07

I’m torn on this as yes it’s very annoying for your teens to do this on holiday, but I also think it’s meant to be their holiday too, and it’s a really difficult stage of life. Are they girls/boys/do they have any body or self esteem worries? Imagine being on your period or very self conscious about yourself as a teen and the expectation to be in the pool, plus all sorts of other things you can’t quite articulate to yourself.

I remember being taken to nice bits of France at that age; and I wanted to enjoy it — I also had an image in my head of having nice holiday — but in reality I was hormonal and hot and had my period, so I wanted to swim but I also didn’t want to wear a swimming costume in front of other people. I tried using tampons so I could swim, but couldn’t get on with them and that made me feel wretched too, as I felt there must be something wrong with me. I had an idea that a great holiday ought to involve being Beach Ready and Meeting A Boy and having a romantic time, but in reality I was shy and awkward with glasses and felt fat and frumpy (and hot). My younger siblings were having a great time time in the pool and eating pizza and ice cream, but I felt I shouldn’t be eating ice cream because I needed to lose weight and was furious at myself for having puppy fat, and so every time my parents offered ice creams, etc., I was snarly and rude. I was also tired all the time because I struggled to sleep and the camp beds were uncomfortable, so I really resented having to get up and go to see whatever Roman amphitheatre or chateau was on the sightseeing list that day. All this (and the heat) made me angry and sulky, upset with myself and rude to everyone else, because I was jealous of my siblings being carefree little kids, annoyed about my period spoiling things, and also jealous of the beautiful slightly older tanned French girls in the pool playing ball with the boys while pasty pale plump old me sulked furiously in a tent in my frumpy M&S shorts, reading PG Wodehouse and copies of Mizz.

Anyway, you get what I mean: you might be thinking why are these ungrateful little toerags so rude and lazy, but holidays are a minefield for teen anxieties and self esteem issues, and everyone else might be thinking “this is great, let’s see some sights!”, but your teens may be beset by all sorts of weird teenage preoccupations that we have forgotten but were actually quite awful to live through.

We usually do a “sightseeing” holiday, but when DD gets to that age I am completely planning to just do some kind of AI beach resort, where she can sulk in a hotel room all day on her phone, while I do no sightseeing at all and just eat and have massages and lie by the pool. Then it doesn’t matter whether she gets up at 2pm or not 😆

Yes, teenagers are complicated - thanks for the reminder! We will be at the beach soon where things will be more relaxed. They just wanted to do a lot of activities which I've tried to fit im.

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WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 14:59

Helcatamy · 13/09/2025 23:13

Just saw this and wanted to say, my daughter was like this for our last 2-3 holidays. On one villa holiday she stayed in her room and only ventured out briefly as the sun was setting! This was several years ago when she was a teen. At first like you I tried to get her to join in but in the end I just let her get on with it, I would always invite her and encourage her to come along so she didn’t feel like I was leaving her out; but if she didn’t emerge then I left her to it and went about my day. Food wise it’s different in a villa as I prepped food and if she didn’t emerge for dinner she could sneak out in the night and fridge raid! If you have a fridge you could pop some bits in there and say if they don’t make it to dinner then help themselves to that. I will add that now she is 22 and she keeps bugging me to go back to those holiday places, says she regrets not making the most of them. It’s sad when they aren’t the excited kids anymore and instead are the awkward teens but it’s that transition phase, just try and enjoy the time with whoever will go with you on the day and if they choose not to, let them fester!!

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Thank you for the solidarity!

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WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 15:07

ChaliceinWonderland · 13/09/2025 23:23

Your mistake spending 1000s on a hol shen through rather chill avec friends. They are too old for family hols.

Leave them to it. Lower your expectations
Af home don't you all do your own activities independently?
No way would j expect my 18 year old to hang out with me.

Also missing school.is.. not cool esp jn y11 l

My 18yo chose a family holiday. We actually all like each other and enjoy spending time together. Yes we do our own thing too. But do you really never do anything with your 18yo?

Noone is in Y11 or missing school!

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WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 15:16

PollyBell · 14/09/2025 00:37

No they dont, I wouldnt take 3 children' to Florida unless every child wanted to go and planned what they all wanted to do, so op how much did all 3 want to go to start with? What activities did they plan to do themselves?

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All 3 wanted to go. It was primarily planned by the 18yo but with activities they all wanted to do - Magic Kingdom for youngest, Animal Kingdom for middle and Epcot for eldest. He also chose paddleboarding and boat trip, a snorkeling place for one sibling and waterpark for other etc.

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GreekHorse · 15/09/2025 15:23

Did you listen to what the 18year old wanted to do for their Birthday or did you railroad them into it. This is a lesson learned isn’t it, just get up and go out with the one who is interested, why would you waste the expensive tickets if they don’t want to go ???

Onionlove81 · 15/09/2025 15:25

Since you started the thread op, what have you actually done to address the situation aside from loads of screen time responding to your mumsnet thread?

Onionlove81 · 15/09/2025 15:27

WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 15:16

All 3 wanted to go. It was primarily planned by the 18yo but with activities they all wanted to do - Magic Kingdom for youngest, Animal Kingdom for middle and Epcot for eldest. He also chose paddleboarding and boat trip, a snorkeling place for one sibling and waterpark for other etc.

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You will have spent…. £15k on this holiday? More?

It is the fact they suddenly underwent a seismic shift upon arrival that is what intrigues me

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WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 15:38

PollyBell · 14/09/2025 00:37

No they dont, I wouldnt take 3 children' to Florida unless every child wanted to go and planned what they all wanted to do, so op how much did all 3 want to go to start with? What activities did they plan to do themselves?

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All 3 wanted to go. It was primarily planned by the 18yo but with activities they all wanted to do - Magic Kingdom for youngest, Animal Kingdom for middle and Epcot for eldest. He also chose paddleboarding and boat trip, a snorkeling place for one sibling and waterpark for other etc.

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WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 15:41

PollyBell · 14/09/2025 00:48

Why do people have to swim?

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Well if you say you want to swim, money is paid out for you to swim then I think it is rather impolite to then not swim!

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ForestFrank · 15/09/2025 15:42

How to say you have teenagers without saying you have teenagers!
I fully sympathise with you OP.
Unfortunately, teens are teens. This may explain but doesn't necessarily excuse their behavior.
Hopefully you can do as has been suggested and enjoy yourself, do what makes you happy.
If they want to waste such a fantastic opportunity, that's on them. It's all part of their growing up process; learning gratitude and learning to make the most of life.
As for late meals for those that stay behind, grab a sandwich and bag of crisps and eff them if they moan! You can decide whether or not to tell them about the amazing meal they could have enjoyed had they joined you.
Please take a roller coaster ride for me whilst you're there.
And try to rise above the roller coaster ride of dealing with teenagers!!
Good Luck!

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WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 15:46

Overthebow · 14/09/2025 03:02

isnt this a holiday for your 18 year old though and not your youngest? Did you give a choice of holidays to your 18 year old? It doesn’t sound as if this is the type of holiday they are overly interested in.

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Yes, this is the holiday he chose including activities he chose for the youngest. They had planned rides to go on together so she has been upset if her siblings don't want to come.

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Unexpectedlysinglemum · 15/09/2025 15:46

PumpkinSeasonOctober · 13/09/2025 19:05

Never take them on holiday again. Do they realise how expensive this trip is?

Of course they won’t understand that as teens

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WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 15:50

Mademetoxic · 14/09/2025 05:52

Isn't the 13 year old in school and 16 year old in college?

As for people who say 'school is't important' we take education in this country for granted, and that's it's 'free' so parents and children should do all they can to attend.

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No, 13yo is not in school. 16yo starts college when we get back.

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