How Many Children Would You Have...

[OtherS]

If you had no worries about space, money, negative impact on career, social life etc? A lot of people seem to suggest that the collapsing birth rate is down to financial worries etc, but I'm wondering whether it's at least as much to do with women not actually wanting huge numbers of children. We used to have 6, 7 or more very regularly of course, but we didn't have much choice back then. Now we have contraception and less societal / marital pressure to have kids, is the reason for low birth rates more to do with woman's choice than concern about the impact of a large family?

AIBU - It's all about money; if I could afford to have 14 kids, keep my job, figure and lifestyle, I'd be all in
YANBU - Even with all the wealth - and nannies - in the world, 1 or 2 would definitely be more than enough for me, thanks.

Now, with how the world looks I would say 0, even if I could afford them.

Had I been asked this question a few years ago I would have said 5 or 6 ( I always wanted a big family) but I have 2 sons which is a happy medium I guess, lol.

I love my children more than anything. But I think if I had my life over again, I wouldn't have any.

I've come to realise that I am not mentally capable of being a great mum. I suffer terribly with anxiety. I think im probably autistic.

But the truth is, I struggle to cope alot. And I beat myself up every day for it.

I have 2. I always wanted 3 but DH used every argument going to stop at 2 and the climate change argument swayed me. However I then won the contraception argument because I would have been happy to have an accident, so he had the snip a few months after DD2 was born 😁

I’ve got 3. Not close together. Before the third I would have said I would have kept going and there’s a part of me that still would. But physically emotionally and mentally 3 is so so much. I’m on the edge constantly 😂 the amount of washing and ferrying around is so much. I work full time as a childminder and I’m just so busy non stop. I can’t even imagine adding in another human being in this household. And it’s nothing to do with finances or space tbh, we have a fairly big house. But I just don’t think I could handle more stuff, more laundry, more cleaning, more thinking 😂😂😂

I would have 4 if I had my time again . I stopped at 2 for all those reasons have a fantastic carer , seven seater car , 5 bed house . I should have had more children .

I have 4. If I won big on the lottery I would have another one or two I think.

I would have liked 3 but we have 2. I couldn't have coped with another pregnancy though (even if we did have the space). We also have 1 boy and 1 girl so another wouldn't add anything in that sense either.

It’s not just about money, it’s the stress and worry they put you through, even when they are “good “ kids.

I would have three, I have two

People also had more children because child mortality rates were much higher. In fact, the major portion of increased life expectancy over the past century is because hardly any children die in the first year of life any more.

I have 1 and sometimes find that very difficult to juggle with no ‘village’ and both parents working. I always thought I’d have more but the reality is we won’t.

I have 3 (3rd has a huge age gap from the first two) and if money wasn’t an issue I’d have 6/7 like I always wanted.

Second that.

kids are amazing and sending them in shitty world is the toughest work ever.

Still just 1 - never wanted more.

I wanted 3, but ended up on crutches before 16 weeks, during my 2nd pregnancy, which later led to being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, so stuck at 2. It's a miracle I don't rattle from all the meds I'm on!

I have 3 children, but would've had 5 if I'd met my partner sooner and had more childbearing years ahead of me. Nothing has been as fulfilling in my life as raising my beautiful children and creating the family we have.

Yes of course, but I don't know whether that means women were actively choosing to have huge families as some of their children were unlikely to survive. There weren't any reliable means of contraception so they very likely didn't have much choice, especially as it seems unlikely many pre-19th century husbands would have agreed to celibacy. So it may be that women all through history would have chosen to only have 2-3 children on average if left to their own devices, but were forced by circumstance into having far more. I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say it's lucky that women were given little choice in the days of high infant mortality, but there may have been rather fewer of us if emancipation had happened sooner.

However, there's also other things to consider; we're in a very different world now with a very different culture, and rather more options. Until recently, and even now in many locations, women aren't trying to decide between babies and a vibrant social life filled with late nights at bars and theatres, interspersed with adventurous jaunts to far-flung places, funded by a fulfilling and well-remunerated career. If it's the choice between sitting at home alone or sitting at home with lots of kids, the decision may be different!

We have 2 children and we could afford more / have spare bedrooms in our house but we don’t want more than 2. We want to be able provide for them in time and resources and not spread ourselves thinly between more children, which is what we have seen happen with our own parents as we each have lots of siblings!

I always wanted three and I had three.

3/4

I've got 1 and I would have loved more if I had a supportive partner and maybe didn't have to work.

As it happens my ex left me when I was pregnant and support in any way. But I'd love more with a fantasy loving supportive partner however I'm late 30s and struggling to find time to date.

5
pref 3 girls & 2 boys.
wish now I’d frozen eggs/embryos when younger!

When I was growing up in the 1950s and 60s , my best friend was the second youngest of 12. They lived in a 3 story , 4 bedroom council house which was in a row of about 20 houses, and all the families had between 6 and 12 children .
I was the middle child of 3 and the only girl , we lived in a 3 bedroom council house which.
My husband lived on the same estate and was 2nd oldest of 6 children, so large families were the norm probably because the birth control pill hadn’t been invented then😂

I have 2.
If there was nothing stopping me having as many as I wanted I would have about 12 of them.

I have an only, and it's definitely due to finance. I think I'd have had 3 in a perfect world