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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How Many Children Would You Have...

243 replies

OtherS · 13/09/2025 17:38

If you had no worries about space, money, negative impact on career, social life etc? A lot of people seem to suggest that the collapsing birth rate is down to financial worries etc, but I'm wondering whether it's at least as much to do with women not actually wanting huge numbers of children. We used to have 6, 7 or more very regularly of course, but we didn't have much choice back then. Now we have contraception and less societal / marital pressure to have kids, is the reason for low birth rates more to do with woman's choice than concern about the impact of a large family?

AIBU - It's all about money; if I could afford to have 14 kids, keep my job, figure and lifestyle, I'd be all in
YANBU - Even with all the wealth - and nannies - in the world, 1 or 2 would definitely be more than enough for me, thanks.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 13/09/2025 17:57

If money was literally no object as in I could have multiple homes, luxury holidays, 24/7 nannies....then maybe 3 or 4 at a push. I have two DC and that is all I could cope with, but I'd love my dc to have more siblings.

MelonElla · 13/09/2025 17:58

I'd have liked two. I have one due to secondary infertility.

ResusciAnnie · 13/09/2025 17:58

I’ve got 3, I can’t imagine I’d cope well with 4 but if I had a nanny maybe!! 2 was heavenly but a bit too calm 😁 3 is a good balance for us.

Gnarab24 · 13/09/2025 17:59

I wanted none
I have one.
For a short while after having DC1 I desperately wanted another.
16 years later watching the environment collapse and the inequality growing and the way the world is changing I wish I’d stuck with none.
can’t believe I brought such an amazing person into such a shitty world.

MaryGreenhill · 13/09/2025 17:59

None

redgingerbread · 13/09/2025 18:00

I hoped for two; that didn’t pan out, and in many ways I think one was the perfect number for us. Even if I were rich I don’t think I could cope with a large family!

Gallopingfanjo · 13/09/2025 18:00

I have no money worries, work is flexible, DH adults, 2 was my limit as kids impose their lives on mine. I’m selfish

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/09/2025 18:01

I’ve got two from 8 pregnancies and would have loved two more but I’m terrible at the whole thing and another would literally kill me so I’m grateful for what I’ve got and DH had a vasectomy.

GreyCarpet · 13/09/2025 18:03

I wanted two and I had two.

If I had my time again and with all the money/resources in the world, I'd still have two.

I wanted my own life too.

Springflowersyay · 13/09/2025 18:03

Zero! I love my child free life!!

GreyCarpet · 13/09/2025 18:04

can’t believe I brought such an amazing person into such a shitty world.

I often feel that way too

Simonjt · 13/09/2025 18:04

Two for us, money doesn’t buy more 1:1 time with them, and thats something we wouldn’t want to reduce at all to fit in another child.

Ponderingwindow · 13/09/2025 18:04

I would have had a second child if I had no concerns about money.

I can only afford university for one child in my country. That was our biggest constraint.

Imissgoldengrahams · 13/09/2025 18:06

I have four.
In all honesty, I wouldn't have any if I could go back in time

rosemarycait96 · 13/09/2025 18:06

I want 4, but we are planning to stop at 3 unless we come into more money. We have the space in the house but can't afford the car or other bits for so many kids especially as our first two are quite close in age and we are currently being caned by 2 sets of nursery fees.

Tipeetommeey · 13/09/2025 18:13

I’ve got 3 and that’s perfect. No way could I give anymore the quality time and attention they deserve

PeloMom · 13/09/2025 18:15

one. For me that’s the perfect number regardless of money, space etc.

gudetamathelazyegg · 13/09/2025 18:17

My mum was one of five in the sixties. I'm an only child, and I'm having 0. Of my friends who have had a kid so far they're one and done (some wanted 2 but changed their mind after the first). I've seen people say "oh you'd change your mind if they paid you" it could be tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands and I'd keep saying no!

Too right all these right wing blokes should put their money where their mouth is and pay mothers for their (literal and otherwise) labour!

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 13/09/2025 18:22

Ideally, I'd have none if abortions had been available at the time.

fabricstash · 13/09/2025 18:22

I would have had more if I started in my twenties! Nothing to do with money

GreyCarpet · 13/09/2025 18:24

OP, you also need to remember that people had larger families in the past due to factors such as lack of access to reliable contraception and higher infant mortality.

Gymbunny2025 · 13/09/2025 18:24

In a (fantasy) ideal world I would have had 4. In my reality 2 is perfect

HarrisonBond46 · 13/09/2025 18:26

We don’t have any financial worries and could easily afford to have more children, we’ve chosen to stick with one. I love having just one - it feels like the best of both worlds, and she’s happy. I’m a good, patient mum to her, but I wouldn’t be nearly as good or patient with more. Money wouldn’t change that!!

Upstartled · 13/09/2025 18:27

I have three, I'd have had five if they could just arrive at the doorstep once they're sleeping through the night. But I was at my upper limit of pregnancy discomfort, colic and sleep deprivation when I tapped out.

TinyTeachr · 13/09/2025 18:28

I have four. If money was genuinely not an object one more would be nice. But actually I like spending 1:1 time with each child, so I'd only do it if i basically had a tonne of help at home to outsource laundry/cleaning and could focus entirely on them when I'm not at work. My evenings involve a lot of juggling right now.