How Many Children Would You Have...

[OtherS]

If you had no worries about space, money, negative impact on career, social life etc? A lot of people seem to suggest that the collapsing birth rate is down to financial worries etc, but I'm wondering whether it's at least as much to do with women not actually wanting huge numbers of children. We used to have 6, 7 or more very regularly of course, but we didn't have much choice back then. Now we have contraception and less societal / marital pressure to have kids, is the reason for low birth rates more to do with woman's choice than concern about the impact of a large family?

AIBU - It's all about money; if I could afford to have 14 kids, keep my job, figure and lifestyle, I'd be all in
YANBU - Even with all the wealth - and nannies - in the world, 1 or 2 would definitely be more than enough for me, thanks.

Have 2, maybe 3 or even 4 in an ideal world with a nanny and a huge house (although do I not get morning sickness in this scenario?!)

My dps had six. They didn't like each other much but divorce wasn't the done thing back then so they stayed together and made us all miserable. They didn't seem to want us dcs either. We were just a byproduct of their sex life.

I was determined not to settle for someone like my f. I struggled finding a decent man, so had ds late (45). If I had more time and more money and some help (all gps dead by then and ds' dad turned out to be no practical help at all) I would have had two.

I've done a good job raising my ds though. He's confident, happy, capable, kind. Our lives are totally unlike my childhood. 😊

I have 2.

This week, one hasn’t let me sleep, and the other has hit me.

So regardless of money etc, if i can could back in time i would have none. And i would encourage people to do the same.

Two for us, money doesn’t buy more 1:1 time with them, and thats something we wouldn’t want to reduce at all to fit in another child.

Money would definitely buy more time for me!

Two. Money wasn’t ever a factor. I can’t be the kind of parent I want to be to more kids than that, while also balancing my own interests and passions.

I'd love a driver, night nanny, housekeeper, cook, etc

I like having two.

I would have had 5 or 6 quite happily in the right circumstances. As it is we have three and due to complications the decision was taken out of our hands,

I have two, 11 and 7.

I'd love a third but there's no way it'd ever happen. I couldn't go back to lack of sleep and lack of time to myself. I'd love to do the rest of it again, but those two things mean it's a definite no.

But more importantly I couldn't do it to the DC. I'm stretched enough between the two of them as it is (and that's with DH being fully involved, being able to divide and conquer when necessary etc) and think at their ages it wouldn't be fair. Especially for DD, who's just started Y7. I can't imagine her trying to study for her exams with a toddler running around! And DS is very attached to me, there's no way he'd be able to cope with a baby needing my attention.

So for several reasons we're sticking with 2!

2: anymore is too emotionally and physically draining.

I have 2 dc and have no financial worries, we have enough assets that we don't have to work (although DH chooses to). I like our lifestyle with 2 dcs - we tend to spend our time together as a family and one child always has an adult's attention, and both of them do lots of extracurriculars which takes enough juggling with 2, I wouldn't want to do it with 3. Families we know with more dcs, have a nanny to manage it but we're very private people and don't like to depend too much on others or have people in our home too much.
We have a 4 bed house which is the right size for us (with a bedroom for each child and a room for wfh) - it's in a central part of London and houses don't tend to be built much bigger here, so we'd have to move to outer London for more rooms if we had more dc, which would change our lifestyle. Our dcs go to private school and many families we know are very wealthy, far more so than us(huge trust funds/inheritances) and most of them also only have 2 dcs (and I know a few who have more but have told me it wasn't planned). I just don't think it appeals to many people to have lots of dcs.

We have the money, space etc to have more, but to give them the time that we want to give each of them, and still have time for us as a couple, we wouldn’t have considered having more than the 2 we have.

I’d have 4 but it’s more health than anything else than what you’ve listed. The rest I can adapt but health I can’t so sadly only 2 for me.

I’d have 4 but it’s more health than anything else than what you’ve listed. The rest I can adapt but health I can’t so sadly only 2 for me.

One has 28 staff currently, so at least that number. Although one must account for sickness days, so may round that up to 35, then they will expect some sort of time orf I one suppose, so now we our 40.
Bloody ridiculous isn't it, although fortunately one doesn't have to pay for it. You lot do! gaffaw, gaffaw

I have 2 DC and I was in my late 30s when they were born. I don't plan to have more, so for me it's my/our age that's the limiting factor, not financial pressures (where I live, childcare is free and we could extend our house). If I'd started younger I'd probably have had 3 or 4, but I didn't meet anyone I was sufficiently convinced would be up to the task of co-parenting with me when I was younger.

I would have had more if we had guaranteed long time employment and a bigger house. Figure doesn’t bother me. I would have loved more, but we have both been unemployed for periods of time, so it scared me that we couldn’t provide properly for our DC through no fault of our own. Money is definitely the only issue for us, I would have loved a whole bunch more.

I have 3 and if we had been in the right financial situation a few years ago, I would have loved a 4th. We couldn't afford to so didn't and now my youngest is nearly 6 I don't think I could go back to nappies and sleepless nights again now even if we won the lottery

Zero

One. Which is what I have and is the perfect number for us.

2 always only 2. Even with money and space it’s a lot of raise children and I don’t have it in me to take on more. I also like the dynamic of 2, they have a friend and no one is left out.

Interesting. So I've been doing a little maths and so far we seem to be averaging 2.4 babies each. So if society and the economy were such that women really could have it all, according to this entirely unscientific poll we would just about be meeting replacement birth rate (2.1). Of course, this is a parenting forum on a Saturday night, so it might not be entirely accurate... Although page 2 only averaged 2.1 babies, so maybe we're now having more as the non-parents have hit the town!

I think I thought it would be worse. It sounds like we don't need to go full right-wing Handmaid's Tale to have enough babies to not die out - we just need to order society so that women have endless wealth. And pain free childbirth. And perfectly behaved, sleepy children. And good health. And the right man. Plus solve climate change. Whilst building bigger houses and cars. So that's encouraging!

(@KingOfPoundbury, I'm not sure your post was meant for this thread - I think 40 would certainly be ambitious, but would unreasonably skew my stats so I'm leaving you out, sorry!)

Financially I could have more ( I have 2 ) but I know I wouldn't be able to spread myself between anymore than 2,

2 was plenty

I've got 4 and I'd probably have 7 or 8, maybe more if I could.