AIBU to think very very few people get pregnant at 50?

[iamamickey]

So I’m 50. Married to an older man and we have sex probably 2-3 times a month. It’s ok we are happy with that.

I had my implant removed and am waiting on a coil being fitted. But I’m hearing awful stories about it.

Surely it’s not that easy to fall pregnant at my age with a husband 10 yrs my senior?

Unlikely but not impossible. Sometimes the body has a menopausal hormone surge and pregnancy occurs - did happen to a friend of my mum who had countless rounds IVF at huge expense for 2 children 20+ years ago (when IVF was rather new) but conceived naturally completely out of the blue at 52 despite years and years of unprotected sex. She was very much an outlier though. Sadly the child (now young adult) is very medically complex and has profound disabilities.

Most celebrities/ rich people who conceive post 50 do so due to IVF/ fertility treatment/ surrogates ect.

I believe the stats are that 1 person in 100 gets a live birth at or over 50.

DM's friend had twins at 52, her elder daughter was 30 and also had twins that year! She thought it was menopause and so didn't test and find our until she was 5 months pregnant! Do not take risks!

It’s not the older body that causes miscarriages. It’s the older eggs having chromosomal issues and possibly hormonal issues. Plenty of women over 50 could easily sustain a pregnancy using young donor eggs.

And you think they were natural conceptions?

Probably not, but whether they had help or not, proves you can still carry a pregnancy at fifty.

My friend was born in 1970. Her mum was 51 and had 8 kids. She was the last

Why on earth would you take that risk just to have unprotected sex, grim.

Yes but the OP was asking about her chances of conceiving, not carrying to term.

He doesn't have to do anything. He is just as entitled to body autonomy as the OP is.

They are married shes not asking about a new partner.

You can still carry a pregnancy at 70 with help. Doesn’t mean anyone is actually going to conceive a pregnancy at 70 so it’s irrelevant to the OP.

This issue is it's not impossible to get pregnant.
Very unlikely though and as we all really know pregnancies after 43 are IVF and often donor eggs.
So the risk is there and the reality is it would likely result in miscarriage or deformities which would be unpleasant for you to have to face.
Better just to be safe.

I use the cava diaphragm , easier than condoms

If you are having periods you could get pregnant.

When I traced my family tree I found one of my ancestors had given birth to her last baby at 51.

Why is it your responsibility, why can’t he have a vasectomy?

Or the baby was born to an unmarried older child and passed off as the (grand)mother's. This was not uncommon.

I'm 51.

I still have regular as clockwork periods and can still tell when I'm ovulating.

So, in theory, I could get pregnant. The viability of that pregnancy might be a different matter though.

I wouldn't take any chances, personally. Just in case.

I have a friend who was in your situation who conceived at 49. She chose not to continue with it but the whole thing was obviously traumatic. I would use condoms.

My best friend is a consultant she has told me often that over the last 10 years she has seen a huge amount more women 45-50 having babies (and not via ivf - natural conceptions) that a high percentage also have complications and that the rates of termination in that age group is also significantly higher (due to either abnormalities or because these are women who had completed their families and thought they were safe due to age) . It’s not as uncommon as you think to get pregnant but it doesn’t always end with a healthy baby.

It's more unlikely you'll get pregnant with unprotected sex than someone in their 30s having sex with a condom. So, very very unlikely (condoms are pretty good contraception) but not impossible.

That's just his excuse to not have a vasectomy. Some men think a vasectomy is emasculating. He'll let OP carry the burden of contraception right through until she's infertile through menopause and she'll accept that.

David Mitchell and Victoria Coren Mitchell had a baby last year when she was 51.

Also I think the chance of a healthy pregnancy at that age is less than 1%. It could be traumatic to have to terminate a baby with problems tho or have a lateish miscarriage... I think that'd be my worry at that age. I think a healthy pregnancy carried to term is v v unlikely, a pregnancy (even if ends in miscarriage) though is possible

Look at it this way - you go to your GP and say “I’m 50, irregular periods and my partner is 60. We’d like to try for a baby without going for assisted fertility. What are my chances of successfully conceiving?” GP is going to say “virtually nil”. Use condoms if “virtually nil” is more risk than you are prepared to take.