AIBU to think very very few people get pregnant at 50?

[iamamickey]

So I’m 50. Married to an older man and we have sex probably 2-3 times a month. It’s ok we are happy with that.

I had my implant removed and am waiting on a coil being fitted. But I’m hearing awful stories about it.

Surely it’s not that easy to fall pregnant at my age with a husband 10 yrs my senior?

A live birth is very rare, pregnancy less rare. If you've had children and losses, you might not seek medical help, so the full statistics won't be available. Miscarriages aren't always simple and the emotional affect can be more than you think, even if you didn't want to be pregnant. Only you can decide. Factors like health (for both of you) ethnicity etc make pregnancy possible.

These UK guidelines are useful on this, see chapter 6 especially

https://www.cosrh.org/Public/Public/Documents/fsrh-guidance-contraception-for-women-aged-over-40-years-2017.aspx

I’m afraid he wouldn’t consider the snip. He’s 60 and seriously doctor phobic. We have been together a very long time and I don’t think we ever used condoms. Might be worth a play with I guess.

I doubt very much whether you do be able to carry the pregnancy at that age it might happen but it wouldn’t sustain even if you were that unlucky

Not likely but not impossible

Are you a gambler OP?

Im still having regular periods at 53

I know someone it happened to. Her DD has just started secondary school and mum is in her 60s. She was surprised as hell to find out she was pregnant, she thought she was ill. So yes, it’s unlikely but it happens. Sod’s Law, if you were trying for a baby it’d never happen but by assuming you’re safe it might just…

I have had 2 coils fitted and it was fine, the key is to relax if you tense up during any procedure it will always make it worse. You can’t make pain go away by thought but you can certainly improve the situation or make it worse. Fear and pleasure release chemicals in the brain, it’s why some reach for chocolate biscuits and some jump out of planes.

Personally I’d take the risk. In the extremely unlikely case that you get pregnant, you’d probably miscarry within the first few weeks.

Before IUF and the use of donor eggs, around 50 women a year over 50 in the UK had babies. So whilst not impossible, the chances would be similar to those of winning the lottery!

Your husband is doctor-phobic. That puts him at higher risk of serious and terminal illness because he is more likely to grit his teeth than address potentially serious issues.

What would it look like if you were widowed in your mid-to-late 50s with a child?

Statistically if you put 100 women like you (ie infrequent sex, no assisted fertility, same age) in a test group for a year, not one of them would have a live birth as a result of that year of trying.

honestly common sense says it’s not gonna happen so ignore the anecdotes, it’s like ‘my cousin’s friend was struck by lightning’

My colleague retired early at 56 when her daughter started reception.
Her other daughter was 35!

It's unlikely but f you conceive the odds of either miscarriage or a child with severe health issues is quite high. I wouldnt risk it.

Don’t risk it OP. If he won’t have the snip (my partner did and it’s liberating) then condoms it is!!

Cherie Blair also got pregnant again after Leo but miscarried.

It is very rare though OP.

One of my friends has a very large family and does not believe in contraception for religious reasons. She got pregnant last year at 53, but had a miscarriage, she always tracks her menstrual cycle and tests early for pregnancy, but it made me wonder if quite a few people conceive in their fifties but having an older body means it's hard to sustain the pregnancy?
So personally if I were you I would use some form of barrier protection.

If he’s doctor phobic I’m sure he won’t want you to take the slight risk of pregnancy (miscarriage included) - I bet he wouldn’t risk it if his type of ‘people’ could get pregnant.

I asked for anaesthetic when I had a Mirena fitted aged 46 (I had dreadful experiences with smear tests). They said they give me a mild sedative - it knocked me right out!

Yeah he has to get the snip, and get over his "doctor phobia" because that not a real thing and having a high risk pregnancy and/or miscarriage is a real thing.

Or just accept they’re doing condoms or non PIV alternatives till she’s got the coil.

I had my smear last month.

My nurse talked about all the surprise pregnancies patients 50+ had.

I posted this information on another thread in response to a 47 yr old user joking about pregnancy. They then reported 2 weeks later they'd miscarried.

Not worth the risk.

You could...You'll likely miscarry but who would want to go through all that stress and upset???

He should really get a vasectomy

I think the chance of you conceiving at 50 are less than 1 percent and your chance of carrying that pregnancy to term even slimmer. I have read lots of threads where people know someone who knows someone who conceived at this age or beyond but I've never seen a claim of first hand experience.

Still - if you're worried use another barrier method until you've not had a period for 12 months.

Unlikely, but not impossible.

Janet Jackson had her first child at fifty. Victoria Coren Mitchell was fifty one when she had her second.

This. My periods were horrendously heavy at 50. I cant imagine the physical awfulness of an actual miscarriage at 50.